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Comedian Ralphie May Detained in Guam for Pot

10/3/2010 10:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Comedian Ralphie May -- a finalist on the reality show "Last Comic Standing" -- was detained briefly by customs in Guam after he was found to be in possession of marijuana.

May's rep tells TMZ custom officials found a small amount of marijuana -- less than an ounce -- as he was arriving in Guam on September 28. He paid a small fine and went on to do a series of performances there.

May says he loved his time in Guam and can't wait to return.

Wonder why.


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I hope you've cleaned up your using from the time I saw you about year-1.5 ago and you took the stage OFF your face - good thing for the wall that was holding you up. I'm not proud to say it, but I've been around and used enough myself to know you just weren't baked.

I'm not ripping you, either. You're legit amazing and if you're on that same path as when I last saw you, you're headed for the same destination as many of the comic greats, so please, please, please be careful.

Take it easy(ier) and best of luck.

1479 days ago

Ralphie May    

Jesus people. I sat in first class on the way over to Guam I was very comfortable and I didnt touch or bother anyone.

Second I didnt do this for publicity. If I had I would have had my publicist blast this last Tuesday when it happened. TMZ reached out to me.

My diet consist of 1200 to 1500 calories a day, so no I dont eat like a hog. Also I dont drink and the only drugs I do is marijuana. And if you know anything about the drug you know that after a while of constant smoking you dont get the munchies. I am under doctors care because I have a back that I hurt while doing pilates. I dont have high blood pressure or diabetes and my cholesterol is 113. I had gastric bypass 7 years ago and I have lost over 300 pounds. I am working on it. I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. I am not some rich pampered star, I am a man that came from nothing growing up a white trash kid from Clarksville Arkansas. I am not a mean person and I dont take anything out on my loved ones. It sounds like some fat person was mean to a lot of you, I however am not that person.

Now because of the seizure in Guam I dont have the thing that takes away my anxiety and I had to go to a doctor to get Xanax.

I give very generously to charities and always to my fans. If any of you would like to come to my shows I will make you laugh hard thats what I do.

My wife isnt a starf##ker or a chubby chaser she was with me when I was much heavier and all she wants is for me to be healthy and live a long time, thats also my goal. A goal that I work every day on. I think that she's beautiful woman on the inside and out, and probably hotter than most if not all of you.

I came here and responded to a lot of your comments because my friends told me of the bile a few were spewing. You know the greatest thing about our country is none of us look the same we are all just fingers on the same hand none are the same but they are all needed. So to the prejudice c@nty people on here FU.

Now as far as there being a bias against fat women as opposed to fat men I couldnt agree more, but it all boils down to the prejudice against fat people. There are only two politically correct hatreds now in our society; one against fat people and the other against gay people. This stream of comments just shows you the hate. What did I do to you? Nothing and I never will. I make people laugh thats it. Why do you hate me? Cause I am fat? Well I would love to see you cause I am sure you arent perfect either. But none of you have your picture on line and none of you have walked the fifteen feet to the microphone in front of thousands of people. Also, everyone is brave when they are anonymous, its very chicken sh*t. But I am sure all of you are perfect, but let me remind you fat people are the only group you can join.

The stoner

Ralphie May

1479 days ago


Ralphie, are you crying?

1479 days ago


Guam is a territory of the U.S. and subject to most U.S. laws, however it is outside of the Customs territory of the U.S. so they have their own Customs and quarantine.

1479 days ago

JD Guahan    

All of you talking smack about "what is good in Guam" need to do some serious research and stop believing the bull crap you read in magazines. Guam is located 13 28 N, 144 47. It has two military bases and is the most strategic location for military operations within the Asia-Pacific region. We are a territory of the United States -- the Organic Act was signed in 1950 by President Harry S. Truman. We speak English very well and still speak our native Chamorro language. We have one Congresswoman appointed to the U.S. House of Congress. WE DO NOT GIVE UP OUR YOUNG WOMEN TO BE "DE-VIRGINIZED" -- all women here on Guam are beautiful, loving and caring individuals who have the strong will to live their lives as they please. BY THE WAY, GUAM IS A matriarchal society. If you want the full experience, buy yourself a plane ticket here, I guarantee that you will meet the nicest most accepting people.


1479 days ago

P Svenhard    

Wow! thats news!

1479 days ago


he show was awesome here on Guam

for #18 check your world map dude

1479 days ago

Karma Train     

Dee Dee Russell,
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. You are an attention whore. You talk crap about everyone on this site. Then say your gonna boycott it but never do. Are you that jealous of everyones sucess that you feel the need to put down their work? At least they ARE working and not prancing around in their underwear on a stage in San Fransico. You are ugly inside and out Dee Dee Russell, but I think you already know that.

1479 days ago


#11, you forget about Lisa Lampenilli, Shes also fat.. I personal could give two ****s If the comic I'm listening to is attractive or not, All I'm looking for is some good humor

1479 days ago


Actually, he was in a car wreck when he was 16 and broke 42 bones in his body which was how he became overweight in the first place. In addition, he also spoke about how he does the marijuana for the pain and because it's awesome.

1448 days ago
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