Ralphie May Newsflash -- 'Don't Take Drugs to Guam!'

10/12/2010 4:00 PM PDT
Ralphie May has issued an official warning to prospective Guamanian drug smugglers everywhere: don't bother -- according to the comedian, "taking weed to Guam is like taking a sack lunch to a buffet."

Ralphie -- who was detained by customs in Guam a couple weeks ago ... after accidentally bringing pot on a plane -- landed in L.A. yesterday without incident, telling us, "Don't take drugs to Guam ... There's plenty there."

Ralphie got off the hook with a $100 ticket ... and according to the "Last Comic Standing" finalist, he learned a lot in the process -- like don't pet the drug-sniffing dogs.