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'Today' Show

Opened Lindsay's Eyes

About Dina

11/17/2010 9:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan now thinks her mom is part of the reason she's in the state she's in, and Lindsay's wake-up call was Dina Lohan's appearance on the "Today" show.

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Sources connected with Lindsay tell TMZ Lindsay told her mom not to go on "Today" last week.  When Dina defied her and yakked with Matt Lauer, Lindsay was "furious."

Our sources say ever since the interview Lindsay has been wary of her mom and is beginning to understand her antics are part of the reason she has so many problems.  The flip side, sources say, is that Lindsay is beginning to realize Dina's demonization of Michael is not a true picture -- that both parents share the blame.

Lindsay, we're told, is impressed with her dad's seeming sincerity in reaching out.

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102 COMMENTS

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Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
91.

lili    

Lindsey, please stay strong! YOUR DAD CLEARLY CARES ABOUT YOU!

You will need a lot of support to get through these trying times. The recognition that your mother may have had a part in controlling your feelings and isolating you from a parent who DID care about you will help you get the sobriety that you deserve. Stay strong, and you have a lot of supporters out there who want the best for you. I feel so bad for you that the parent in whom you had the most trust took such horrid advantage of you for limelight, for parties, for the lifestyle.

I feel so badly, but the truth is that your mother is manipulative, and did NOT care about your sobriety. DESPITE ANYTHING YOUR FATHER DID. Your dad tried to reach out to you, b'c your mom was so controlling, and the only way he knew how was to do so through the media.

He really had no other options. Please try to reconcile with him, and continue this journey with him, bc he clearly does love you. I have been a supporter of his ahead of the curve, and tho he made mistakes, he was only trying to reach out to you!

Stay strong Lindsey!! :)

Know that we all have to deal with pain and disappointment stemming from family, which is so hurtful, and sometimes feels impossible to get over, but we all want your sobriety, your happiness!

Reach out to Drew Barrymore! Reach out to Robert Downey Jr. I am sure that they can help you through this terrible pain, but hang in there, you will make it! :)

1379 days ago
92.

Ernie    

@ darkrage6 the problem is my friend is you always try to make things personal when you can not debate the issues I post as well as others. You rant and rave ... curse ... swear ... act like a three year old ... whine ... bitch .. grip and never once can you come up with any real facts or figures to prove any point you bring up.

You just want to throw out your trash.... pick a fight with whoever will respond to you and when you can not prove your point ... you start in again with all of you b/s.

If you would point out where I have made my mistakes maybe you could offer something of meaning here .... all you do is wimper and curse .... grow up. Get real or get lost.

1379 days ago
93.

darkrage6    

Ernie-Why don't you get lost? You might as well since nobody on here gives a rat's ass about what you have to say, you're just a big pathetic joke. John-I wouldn't be surprised if you're a necrophiliac, cause I can't imagine you getting laid any other way.

1379 days ago
94.

@firestarter_916    

Wow, glad to hear Lindsey is starting to see the light.

1379 days ago
95.

Lindsays Friend    

Hi Lindsay ...

-- NOT that I (or anyone) can put much stock in anything TMZ has to say -- or purports to know -- about what's going on with your life.

But there are those of us who truly do hope for the best for you -- whether we "know" anything or not about the details ...

... so -- it DOES SEEM -- that there is **CONSIDERABLE AMBIVALENCE** where your relationship with your parents is concerned -- leading to *LOTS* and ***LOTS*** of confusion -- PAINFUL confusion for you ...

... TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE!!!

ABSOLUTELY TEXTBOOK MATERIAL FOR BECOMING AN ADDICTED USER/AB-USER

... of any of several means of trying to escape this pain, that is so deep inside -- so hard to reach -- so *VERY* hard to ease, to soothe, to remove ...

.. what else to do but bury it in stupor, in substance -- ANYTHING to MAKE IT STOP ... ("... MAKE IT GO AWAY ... MAKE ME NOT FEEL THE PAIN ANYMORE -- PLEASE! ... i just can't hurt any more -- there's nothing left of me -- please make it stop ... make them stop ... make THEM stop hurting me -- please -- ANYthing ... just for a while ... please ... stop ... ")

... understood ...

... but -- there is BETTER than that for you, Lindsay --

NOT EASY !!!!! BUT BETTER --

.. but YOU WILL have to take charge of your life, Lindsay --

... YOU, Lindsay

*** WILL *** Lindsay

YOU -- will have to say -- ENOUGH, NO MORE.

YOU -- will have to disown, to sever ...

If they will not relate to you as parents ...

... then they can not possibly have a relationship with you as your parents ...

... YOU -- Lindsay, must draw the lines,

... offer the choices ..

... THEY -- must decide, and live with the results ...

When you were a child, they were your parents; you had a home, a family, care, love ... you depended on them -- for everything --

... they were like God --they knew everything, they could do everything ...

... but they made choices -- things changed -- they still are changed ...

"Going back" is not going to happen (" ... quit trying to make fetch, fetch isn't going to happen ..."

... and at some point most of us need to forgive our parents for not being "God"

I seriously doubt you have taken the time to assess everything that you went through during those years ...

-- you were such a trusting, pleasing child, Lindsay -- until the hurts started coming ...

-- between the dizzying pace of your phenomenal young acting career

-- and the brutal emotional assault on your heart, mind, psyche -- of living through the hell and turmoil of the 'family war' ...

-- trying to sort out the lies from the truth ...

-- too dependent to resist or believe strongly in what you knew to be true ...

-- too strong to abandon what you knew was the truth or accept the lies ...

-- living with that every day -- even now ...

... isn't that just a little bit of a ... "conflict", Lindsay? to have to live through 10-plus years of that?

-- and then the take-off and landing from childhood to adulthood -- literally a crash and burn --

( ... like asking someone to take off and land an airplane in the middle of a combined white-out/tornado/blizzard/hurricane ...

-- you had not the slightest clue as to which way was up ...

-- but 21 and adulthood came -- along with the legalities ...

-- full throttle ahead ...

-- as if cutting the emotional ties to parents aren't hard enough for ANY young adult

-- one can only speculate the complications of having a financial/contractual umbilical cord wrapped around your neck -- possibly/probably still ... (?)

-- and anybody wonders that you use/ab-use substances ... ?

-- in that respect, Lindsay, you're one of us -- ("... make it stop -- please !!!... ")

-- anyone who has been through what you have gone / are going through might easily make the same choices -- many do, many have ... not all are as fortunate as you have been ...

(ok -- i can hear all the haters queueing up ... )

NO!! -- I AM ***NOT** EXCUSING, VALIDATING, ENABLING THAT CHOICE !!!

Hopefully, Lindsay, you now know that was/is the wrong choice ...

You also know how nearly helpless you have been, and will continue to be, when faced with more of the same pain, and the need to make it stop ...

You MUST ALSO KNOW -- YOU DON'T have to do it alone -- YOU CAN'T -- at least not for a while ...

-- to the point, Lindsay,

You ABSOLUTELY ***MUST*** come to a conscious recognition of:

-- the role each of your parents HAS played in contributing to your confusion and pain,

-- the role each of your parents *** CONTINUES TO PLAY *** in contributing to your confusion and pain,

-- and what YOU, Lindsay CAN and WILL do about that.

We are all "indebted" to our parents -- to some extent ...

"Real" parents -- give to us out of love, do not DEMAND repayment, but are **OVERJOYED** when we as children reciprocate in love.

"UNREAL" -- DEMANDING, GUILT-TRIPPING, FAME-WHORING, FINANCIALLY-ENSLAVING -- er, uh, uuhhggg (word vomit coming ... ) ' ... parents ' DEMAND REPAYMENT for their 'sacrifices', confuse any sense of love, and in so doing forever forfeit any hope of receiving your love ...

why do they forfeit your love?

-- not because you do not love them, or want to love them ...

They forfeit your love because they have set the terms by demanding it.

... can 'demanded' love ever truly be received as true love ???

-- even if you offer it freely, they receive it as an entitlement -- not the true gift that true love always is ...


Lindsay -- the true gift of true love freely given and received seems to have long since left in your relationship with your parents ...

-- one can only wonder how and if it can ever return ...

it doesn't seem possible under the current conditions --

Your father seems to suffer -- as do you -- with some addictive behaviors of his own ... perhaps even an addiction to you, Lindsay.

While that may seem it some sense flattering, you should be understanding by now, Lindsay, that an addiction precludes a free choice ... your father seems to have chosen to love you, but is handicapped by his addiction to that choice -- in some ways noble, but at times awkward, embarrassing, annoying, irritating, angering, and confusing -- sometimes it raises the issue -- is he really doing it out of love for me? or because he is driven to prove that he is not everything Dina has said, to prove her wrong? with me in the middle as 'exhibit A'?

He seems, for now, to have come to the conscious realization that waging his 'campaign of love for Lindsay' through the media is running counter to the desired effect -- to restore and rebuild a relationship of mutual trust, forgiveness, and possibly affection. with you.

*THAT* speaks well for Michael, and shows promise that there may actually be some hope for a successful adult father-daughter relationship. It will take time for healing and trust to be restored (especially if your mother continues to intervene and counter at every turn, or so it seems), but if he can avoid the pitfalls of going through the media to "get a hearing" -- so much the better ...

-- ok -- so not to paint Michael as blameless -- his criminal activity, time away from the family, effect on the family, subsequent release and desperate attempts to re-join his family, certain 'indiscretions' in some other relationships -- have ALL contributed PLENTY to your confusion, Lindsay -- and will continue to ... and what the hell was that "conservator ship" crap about anyway? Was he trying to one-up a move that Dina was trying to make? your father is NOT perfect -- never will be; how much can be tolerated will need to be carefully worked out --

-- your mother is a very hard read to us 'outsiders' ...

on the one hand -- perfectly understandable !! She 'knows Michael' and Michael's disposition and Michael's character only too well, and one might easily have some justifiable sympathy to her point of view in trying to keep Michael as distanced as possible and 'under control'

-- but she has been at least equally -- actually order of magnitude UNEQUALLY guilty of riding the media harlot to promote her 'everything i have said and done is the right and true aspect of what should be understood and accepted regarding anything having to do with Lindsay and the rest of the Lohans" point of view.

Lindsay -- you may KNOW how much of what has been said and done is true, how much of it is spun and misrepresented -- and then again you may actually NOT KNOW!!!

-- you may only be just finding out -- and some of it you may never know ...

-- but YOU know a LOT -- and you may be having to sort out a lot more to find out what you don't know ...

so -- Dina -- no guilt trip for her to have to work through, huh? After all, SHE wasn't the one who behaved criminally, SHE wasn't the one who assaulted anyone (and of course -- knowing Michael's temper -- she MOST CERTAINLY did NOT set her brother up to provoke a confrontation!)

-- no, Dina is the 'sainted' one -- raising four children as a single mom, including managing your very talented and promising career, Lindsay.

-- but -- as 'nice' as that might all be, it is not without its own ambivalence and confusion --

-- because underneath there seems to be 'something wrong' --

-- hard to define, hard to demonstrate -- but 'something' is just not right ...

One could surmise on the one hand that her mission to control everything Lohan is out of necessity to preserve and protect the Lohan 'financials' from an ever-present possible 'assault' from Michael, who is determined to 'get his share' ?

-- ***REALLY*** under control -- up to and including the 'arrangements' with family counselling at Betty Ford ... ?

-- one REALLY has to wonder at this point -- what is to be gained by that? ONLY IF Dina absolutley knows something so toxic about Michael that it would warrent this ongoing "level of protection" could it possibly make sense ... we are all left to wonder -- and we certainly do wonder ...

-- but that somehow seems to get in the way of the love, doesn't it, Lindsay?

-- so you may always need a certain calculated 'emotional distance' there for your own protection and sanity ...

-- the thinnest wall possible to protect you from the hurts -- but not so great a barrier that you can never see through it, or occaisionally pass through a gate somewhere --

-- BUT -- always the key is in YOUR hands, Lindsay --

-- *NO* unwelcome intrusions allowed -- for your own safety, Lindsay

Lindsay -- HOW ARE YOU EVER GOING TO SORT THIS OUT ???

Of ALL the celebrities who have had to work through the issues of fame and 'invincibility' and 'entitlement' -- i know of ***NONE** OF them who had ***** T W O !!! ***** parents who BOTH --

-- so desparately and indiscriminately waged their personal war against each other

-- IN PUBLIC ...

-- INCESSANTLY !!!

-- and THOUGHTLESSLY DRAGGING YOU, Lindsay, right down into the middle of it ...

-- this whole Lohan debacle seems to hinge on the 'premise' that each adult has a horrific secret reason which they can NEVER tell, but which, if told, would fully justify and exonerate any and all their behavior, and the consequential stress amd damage they have inflicted on Lindsay in the process ... (and who knows about the other kids -- i don't suppose there are a lot of contracts and royalties tied to them, so possibly they are less the target of this family-shredding exercise)

-- or they are both just addicted fame-whores ..

Lindsay --

**** W H E R E ??? **** can you possibly go ????????????

**** W H A T ??? **** can you possibly do ????????????

(besides what you have been doing, of course ... which we ALL know is not going to work ...)

... to escape, minimize, nullify the the past -- and continuing -- effects of yout parents continued public stupidity until they somehow outgrow it ???

One almost feels like you're living the life of "the royals" -- where protocol and propriety trump any but the most pragmatic aspects of relationships in support of those ends (which is why we all love the stories where the prince or princess tells the royal parents to " ... shove it" )

-- so then, "princess" -- what will you do?


" ... when I was a child, I talked like a child, I understood things like a child, and I thought like a child. But when I became grown up, I put away these childish things ..."

:-)

To have True Peace, Lindsay, its time for you to meet The Prince of Peace.

As always,

In His Love, Who Loves you, Lindsay, MORE than anyone EVER CAN!!!

-- FOREVER!!

1378 days ago
96.

for now    

Comments from Lindsay's fans - love,hope,respect,happiness,compassion.
Comments from Lindsay haters- hate,bitterness,jealousy,dirty language.
Her fans should know that haters are not able to have a meaningful conversation.

1378 days ago
97.

MJ    

Looks like rehab is helping.....

1378 days ago
98.

KB    

BACKING

AWAY

FROM

102.


Long-winded much??

1377 days ago
99.

Lindsays Friend    

@ 105 -- it's ok ...

I just write -- I don't bite :-)

... just wanting the best for Lindsay -- to find her own life, her gifts, her calling ...

-- and a relationship with her Creator ...

-- Who gave her life

-- to be lived in a Love relationship with Him ...

-- and Her Savior, Jesus ...

-- Who gave His life ....

-- so that she could have her life ...

-- now ...

-- and FOREVER!

-- in His Love ...

-- :-)

now -- is that so bad?

1377 days ago
100.

GatorMom    

FINALLY!!! I have thought all along that Dina was the root of all Lindsay's problems! Her Dad was waaaay to obvious to have been the problem.

Not that her Mom is any excuse for her actions, but I hope she wakes up and is more careful with her Mom moving forward....and get that little sister away from the Mom too!

1376 days ago
101.

Josephine Shaffer    

I like Lindsey Lohan i feel sorry for her because she is an awesome girl i always feel that way she has a very very rough time i still like her movies nothing going to change that i have siblings tramps over me like i'm nobody except for one me her gets a long real good.

1372 days ago
102.

kitnplayn    

The closest relationship in a young girl's life is her mother. A mother is the heaviest influence, the highest trust and the greatest need. But, there is an emotion more powerful than the connection between a mother and a daughter, and that emotion is greed. You think you can't break away from a relationship so close, but people do it every day. You have so much bounty as an individual, but the days of your life are in anguish. Step back. Break away. Come back after some time, on your own terms. One rule, Lindsay.....never react and attack. That just replenishes her power to manipulate and control. Be your own woman !!! A lot of people are in the same position as you, they just don't have the media exploiting it, so you don't realize how common it is. Doesn't mean your mother is a bad person, it just means she is product of a sick culture.

1162 days ago
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