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Arnold and Maria's Split -- A Long Time Coming

5/10/2011 5:16 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Maria Shriver has been "miserable" in her marriage for a long, long time, sources connected with the couple tell TMZ ... and it's all about Arnold Schwarzenegger's "craziness."

Arnold Schwarzenegger Divorce

We're told Maria moved out of the couple's L.A. mansion months ago.  Sources tell us she's been extremely unhappy in her marriage for years, complaining about Arnold's out of control ego, as well as his womanizing.

We're also told Maria feels Arnold has ignored her for years and she's felt terribly unappreciated.

Sources say the couple has spent "very little time together" for several years.  Maria was frequently absent from Sacramento while Arnold was Governor. 

The situation got worse once Arnold left office and decided he wanted to resurrect his movie career.  Maria felt Arnold was becoming more erratic -- more "unstable." 

Our sources say Maria's religious views caused her deep distress over whether to split and/or divorce.   As one source put it: "She's been a lost soul for a long time."


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Maria -- Contemplated Divorce for Nearly 2 Years


Maria Shriver has been deciding whether to DIVORCE Arnold Schwarzenegger since 2009 ... but sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ, she's been "extremely conflicted."

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We're told Maria has been unhappy with Arnold for years ... and first planned to split with him back in 2009 ... but her mother passed away and Maria decided to hold off.

Then, we're told, Maria wanted to try to break it off again in January 2011 ... but her father died ... once again putting the split on hold.

Our source tells us Maria is fed up with Arnold's infidelities ... coupled with the fact he's been "impossible" to live with. We're told Maria's kids acknowledge the issues -- and have pushed their mother to call off the marriage.

People who have spoken with Maria tell us ... despite her STRONG public persona, Maria has become a "shell of the woman" she appears to be because she is "terrified" of Arnold ... but in an emotional, not a  physical way.

However, once Maria finally decided to separate from Arnold  -- and moved into a fancy Beverly Hills hotel -- we're told Arnold pulled a 180 ... and he's been "working extremely hard" to win her back.  As one source says, "He could not be sweeter now that she's left him."

To make things even more complicated, Arnold and Maria have been spending LOTS of time together lately ... hanging out during Easter, Mother's Day and even their 25th anniversary ... which they celebrated together at an expensive hotel.

A source close to the couple tells us ... despite their differences, Arnold and Maria have "serious chemistry between them" ... which is why she has such ambivalence about the break-up.

But ambivalence aside, Maria has been "miserable" in the marriage and has taken a big step to end the relationship.


Arnold Schwarzenegger -- The Ring Disappears


Hours before the world knew about his separation ... Arnold Schwarzenegger broke out his street bike and went for a ride with his bodyguard in L.A. yesterday ... sans wedding ring.

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But Arnold WAS wearing his ring on Sunday ... the day before the couple announced their split.

Meanwhile, Maria Shriver has been ringless since mid-March ... right after Maria posted a cryptic video on YouTube asking her fans for advice on how to "transition" into the next phase of her life.051011_maria_shriver_still



As you already know, Arnold and Maria announced their separation last night ... and in their statement, they claimed they've been living apart for several weeks.


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Hair-larious.


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419 COMMENTS

No Avatar
346.

Lorig60    

I would like to share with Maria Shriver, what got me through the same predicament she is in, and how I came out of it, within 6 weeks on my own, and regained my sef steem, confidence on myself, and free myself from 28 years of the same things she has been subjected to, for so many years with Arnold. If there is anyway I can share with her my story, and how I was able to come out of it, be my old old myself again, minus my ex husband, please email me back. I just saw here, the video clip she had posted on youtube back in March, that is no longer there, asking for women with similar situations, to advice her on how to cope on this difficult times. I had the same type of husband, same situation, same infidelities, being ignored, watching my children suffer from their fathers conduct, being scared of my husband, although he never fisically abused me, but there are so many ways a husbands behaviour can destroy us inside, and make us feel helpless and stuck in a vicious circle, that we think there is no way out. But there is. I found it, put it into work, and was able to be the same successful, confidense, sure of myself woman that I was, before I meet him. Maria Shriver's clip here, touched me, and reminded me of my own battle that she is trying to conquer. I want to share my story and my technic wth her..I did not have any help from any Phychiatrist nor any Counsellors.I did this on my own. And after 28 years, I was FREE..It has been over 12 years todate since this happened. I'm divorced, I'm happy with my self, and I want to show her, that she can go back to being happy with herself, minus him, if that is what she really wants..Hope someone can direct me to that video clip so I can share all this knowledge with her and other women in this kind of situations..You are not alone..And you can conquer this, and be back to being happy with yourself again..

1180 days ago
347.

Shelby    

It looks like Penelope Cruz lost the top half of her dress in the new "Pirate" photos. Or maybe, there are two coconuts superimposed. This isn't pretty or sexy.

1180 days ago
348.

Markd2222    

I just want to set the record straight for those of you who seem to think it's only men who cheat. I was very deeply in love with the woman I thought I was going to grow old with, when one day she simply left me, accusing ME very publicly of infidelity. As it turns out it was she who had been cheating for over a year, and I was the one who had remained faithful.. and frankly would have done so till the day i died or she did. I was completely oblivious to her cheating because i trusted her implicitly.. never even gave it a second thought. And she told me she loved me right up to the day she left. In fact she had sex with both of us the day before she left. So, don't ever try to tell me the men are the dogs. I was devastated when she left me, and it took me over 2 years to get past it. I lost nearly everything because I was too lost to function.. I didn't even care about anything else. I know this has little to do with Arnold and Maria, except to say, though he may have strayed, it's not always the guy who does so. The end.

1180 days ago
349.

SarahT    

Their split actually supports my belief that Maria Shiver is an intelligent woman. After Arnold pardoned a murderer who is the son of a political "friend" at the end of his governorship, I KNEW he is the most egocentric, phony piece of garbage on earth. Good for you Maria for leaving his pathetic ass.

1180 days ago
350.

bx1111    

Wow Maria you look just like your mother before she died.I hope you get help with the anorexia. Maybe a boob job (ask you ex husband to donate - he's triple D cup).

1180 days ago
351.

bx1111    

Maria needs help with her anorexia. Arnold's boobs are way bigger.

1180 days ago
352.

Markd2222    

Folks.. I hate to point out the obvious here, but Maria is a millionaire.. Ok.. she's dealing with trauma similar to us little people.. but come on.. How bad can it be when you have millions in the bank, mansions, boats, private jets, limos, jewels, Kennedy lineage, powerful friends, at least some of whom are single men with I'm sure more than a passing interest in a millionairess, and no real need to work? I don't think I'd be brooding for very long in those cir***stances.. And I do sincerely feel for her, particularly if she truly loves him. Nothing worse than being on the wrong end of infidelity when you're still in love.. But money buys happiness. Anyone who says it doesn't simply doesn't know where to shop. :-)

1180 days ago
353.

Vian    

Arnold seems to have lost all his muscle tone. he looks like your average soon to be divorced guy !

1180 days ago
354.

Mamamia    

Never like the guy. Never saw his movies. He is so ugly, he looks like a hulk. Maria should go back to broadcasting. She did well.

1180 days ago
355.

Bonnie    

Hey, why not? He's not Governor of California any more, and the state is worse off than if they had kept Grey Davis; Her parents are deceased and she has her inheritance, kids old enough to understand. Conflicted because she's Catholic? I doubt that stops her after years in California, and being part of the Hollywood Liberal elite...religion is SO passe' and "spirituality" is in!

1180 days ago
356.

ginny    

had contemplated leaving for 2 yrs eh? couldn't possiblely finally come about since he's not Gov any more could it?..personally I wouldn't want either of them

1180 days ago
357.

yyroland    

It is hard on both parties when there is a break up,but it is much harder on the kids no matter what ages they are.I hope the two of them can mend their marriage.

1180 days ago
358.

alex    

What's the big deal if you have the financial resources and your children are grown. The problem is most of us these days can't afford to seperate and live apart like those two can. I don't get her attraction to him anyway...he's just a big meathead.

1180 days ago
359.

Mike    

Someone needs to tell Maria to eat a sandwich. She has always look like a walking skeleton!

1180 days ago
360.

Mike    

Hey Jackie! What country did you come from or didn't you study civics in school? You don't need to have been born in the US to become a governor. You must have been born in the US the become the president.

1180 days ago
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