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Lindsay Lohan -- I'm Staying Clean ... FOR LIFE

5/15/2011 6:00 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan plans to stay on the straight and narrow for the REST OF HER LIFE -- telling friends, she's serious this time ...  no drugs, no booze, no breaking the law ... ever again ... PERIOD.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, the actress had an epiphany after her sentencing -- and is completely at peace with the judge's decision ... community service, fines, counseling, shoplifters alternative class ... the whole package.

Technically, Lindsay is REQUIRED to stay sober during her formal probation -- which ends after she completes her 480 hours of community service -- but we're told, it doesn't matter ... Lindsay's committed to sobriety for the long haul.

One thing ... Lindsay does take issue with the three-year probation itself -- telling friends she doesn't think she deserves it -- but que sera sera ... she has learned to accept her fate.

Bottom line -- her friends are adamant ... Lindsay has learned her lesson once and for all.


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Lindsay is not a child anymore and people should stop treating her like one. What is the redeeming factor that makes everyone go out on the limb for her? It's not like she is an "A" Lister. I know a girl that is the same way and she has never changed. Promises promises promises that is all they are worth, just words with no meaning or truth behind them.

Lindsay all by herself has:

1.ruined her mouth - by over inflating her lips she has thrown off the natural balance of her face. Now you only focus on her lips instead of what she is saying.

2.ruined her own reputation by running with Sambo and all the other s*** she hangs with.

3.ruined her own reputation by drinking and driving

4.ruined her own reputation by doing drugs

5.ruined her own reputation by lying all the time

6.ruined her own reputation by stealing

7.ruined her own reputation by being unreliable

8.ruined her own reputation by kidnapping and carjacking

9.ruined her own reputation by listening to her mother and believing everything her mom tells her.

10. And the #1 reason that she is ruined........she was born a Lohan.

Even the last name gives you a hint at the person, LOHAN or Low hand (low handed, someone that can't be trusted) LOL

1222 days ago


It was nice not reading about her for 3 days. It must have driven DUIna crazy not seeing Blohan's name on TMZ, so she sold a story to keep Blohan's name in print. Along with the story DUIna sold about Lindsay quitting smoking, this is a stupid statement to make only 4 days after sentencing. Come back and make that same statement after your 3 years probation is over.

1222 days ago

the artist formerly known as hand turkey    

If you're wondering why people are so cynical, Lindsay Lohan, it's because you're talking like a drug addict.

And either you take responsibility for your actions or you don't, believing you don't deserve your punishment, is not taking responsibility.

1222 days ago


This publicist should realize that no one believes Lindsay knows a big word like "epiphany." That's four whole syllables! Lindsay would get stuck in the middle of the word and have to throw back a shot just to sound her way through to the end of it.

1222 days ago


lindsay ben laden. has sabotaged. all the men in barroom bathrooms. planned attacks on friends and jewelry stores. and and dropped biological warfare (VD) on everyone she slept with. she needs to be on a terrorist list.

1222 days ago



WTF? "Take a great mugshot" Are you KIDDING me? This is why Blohan is DOOMED. Enablers like you.

1222 days ago

john smith    

Nicole, I am laughing too hard every time you say take a great mugshot, you are so funny. We should go out sometime. I think Lindsay should bring her own photographer, everyone knows the sheriffs aren't qualified to take Lindsay's picture. Lindsay take a great mugshot and find a boyfriend.

1222 days ago

Make it stop    

LMAO!!! If anyone else said this I might believe it but coming from her it's just a great way to start the morning off with a laugh!!!

1222 days ago


I hope so she could help a lot of people..but remember 1 step at a time.

1222 days ago



Can you please explain what Lindsay is innocent of? She is now a convicted thief, so she's not innocent of that. She is now proven to have been drinking while being tested and on probation. Not innocent there. She has also had 2 dirty drug tests while being tested and on probation. Not so innocent there either. She has been convicted of drunk driving TWICE. REALLY not innocent there. She has proven to be a liar, when she said I do not lie, cheat or steal, considering she is now a convicted thief. Again, not innocent.

I can't find one thing she is innocent of...

1222 days ago

john smith    

Nicole I can go with Lindsay and give her direction for her mugshot. When I took the picture in my avatar of Lindsay, the one she didn't give me credit for on her Rumors CD, I told Lindsay imagine your sitting on the toilet taking a dump and someone just walked in on you. The result was a great picture.

1222 days ago

Rogue Warrior    

I hate the way TMZ wrote this story but then again I have to consider the source. If Lindsay didn't say this word for word they're just setting her up for further failure and ridicule but this is a gossip site. Take it one day at a time Lindsay and those days will add up quickly. Keep up the good fight even if they're a few relapses along the way. Progress not perfection.

1222 days ago


themare 17 minutes ago


WTF? "Take a great mugshot" Are you KIDDING me? This is why Blohan is DOOMED. Enablers like you.

I think it could be best and hopefully final mugshot. She will be prepared for it and it will be an arranged surrender like July 20th not like September 24th.
Everyone is going to see it anyway so she might as well make it look as good as possible.

1222 days ago

john smith    

Gossip, so what, all kids do that, most don't get caught as much as Lindsay. The court gave her a two week "time out" at her $7000 a month condo at the beach. Lindsay had an epiphany that she likes guys better, leave the girl alone.

1222 days ago


Total loser bitch. Of course she's said she was serious, how many times? And I KNEW she'd think it was unfair to do 3 years probation. Troubled Mean Girls star, you got off so light. And you've got the nerve to complain. Nobody else would have skated like you did. Good luck with your 'career' and your STD's.

1222 days ago
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