TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Lindsay Lohan Dodges Jail Bullet

6/23/2011 11:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan will not go to jail, because Judge Stephanie Sautner ruled the prior judge -- Elden Fox -- only required controlled substances testing from January 3 - February 25, 2011. In other words, Judge Fox did not order alcohol testing.

0623_lindsay_leaving_splash_bn
Judge Sautner said Lindsay is now restricted for the remainder of her house arrest to one friend at a time at her Venice loft, in addition to family members.

And, the judge said NO PARTIES at Lindsay's crib.

Judge Sautner said the only thing Lindsay was guilty of was "extremely poor judgment."

Judge Sautner asked Lindsay if she wanted to get on with her life. Lindsay replied, "Yes I do."

And this is interesting. The Probation Dept. cannot test Lindsay anymore for drugs or alcohol, because there's no court order allowing it. So Lindsay is free to drink all she wants, as long as she's not driving after she drinks.

UPDATE: Lindsay just tweeted, "Thank you to all of my fans for your support. Sending you Love and Light."



tmz-top-comments-banner
Slappy Slappy

The judge should have sentenced Lindsay.. not to jail, but over the knee for a good long hard spanking! THAT is the only way this girl is ever going to learn something, and something she should have received a long time ago.

Karen Karen

How long will it be before she crashes her whatever car into an innocent person and kills them and herself? Why do they let her get away with so much?

rdc rdc

party on lindsay, better yet grab a porsche and a friend, obviously the state has no solution for you.



tmz-top-comments-banner
Slappy Slappy

The judge should have sentenced Lindsay.. not to jail, but over the knee for a good long hard spanking! THAT is the only way this girl is ever going to learn something, and something she should have received a long time ago.

Karen Karen

How long will it be before she crashes her whatever car into an innocent person and kills them and herself? Why do they let her get away with so much?

rdc rdc

party on lindsay, better yet grab a porsche and a friend, obviously the state has no solution for you.

Tammy Tammy

I think this is fair. Alcohol is not illegal or a controlled susbtance, except for being 21 or over and she qualifies, so....

Jay Jay

This judge has been holding Lindsay's hands through all of this. Downgrading her felony, allowing house arrest, setting no restrictions regarding drinking alcohol while on house arrest ect ect. Atleast the public knows Lindsay Lohan is full of sh*t and lying about being sober.

Jimmy Page Jimmy Page

She's like John Gotti; The Teflon Don"; nothing sticks to her. Amazing how much trouble she can get into and skate! Good money and lawyers every time.


401 COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

Nick    

I dont understand how someone can be so stupid.

1132 days ago
32.

lou    

If it LOOKS like a Lindsay duck, walks like a Lindsay duck and QUACKS like a Lindsay duck, well then...


(a) “Carjacking” is the felonious taking of a motor vehicle in the possession of another, - CHECK

from his or her person or immediate presence, or from the person or immediate presence of a passenger of the motor vehicle,
- CHECK - she grabbed control of the vehicle, thus depriving the driver of possession of his vehicle, since he no longer had the ability to take possession or drive or control the vehicle.


against his or her will - CHECK


and with the intent to either permanently or temporarily deprive the person in possession of the motor vehicle of his or her possession, - CHECK - which she did when she commandeered it and the driver no longer had control of the vehicle.


accomplished by means of force or fear - CHECK. She forced her way into the car (was uninvited)

She meets the criteria of carjacking in CA.

1132 days ago
33.

two cents    

Why can't she just do the world a favor and get off! Such a waste of oxygen.

1132 days ago
34.

Grandma Cracker    

STOLEN FROM MODERN DRUNKARD MAGAZINE SPECIALLY FOR LINDSAY SOSHE CAN CONTINUE TO DRINK NO MATTER WHAT HER CIR****TANCE:

PRUNO! YEAH BABY!!!

Recipe #1: Classic Pruno (by Hank Soboski)
This recipe is part of prison folklore to the extent it was described in detail in a famous poem called Recipe For Prison Pruno by prison poet Jarvis Masters. (See bottom of page.) Using nothing but the poem for reference, I proceeded.

What You’ll Need:
A Sealable Bag (Ziploc or a heavy-duty garbage bag with rubber bands)
10 Peeled Oranges
1 8oz Can of Fruit ****tail
50 Sugar Cubes
6 Teaspoons of Ketchup
Tap Water

Day 1
I combined the oranges and fruit ****tail in a large Ziploc bag, sealed it tightly, then spent fifteen minutes squeezing and mashing it lovingly until it was the consistency of a pulpy paste. I added 16 ounces of tap water and resealed the bag.

I ran ho*****er over the bag for fifteen minutes, then wrapped it in three towels to insulate the heat and start the fermentation process. The bag ends up being the size, weight and temperature of a newborn infant and you may start having tender feelings for the cute little beast. This is normal. Especially when this realize when this baby grows up he’s going to get you drunk. I hid my baby in safe, dark place and let it sit undisturbed for forty-eight hours.

Day 3
I unwrapped the towels to discover my baby had ballooned up nicely. This, I surmised, was due to the gasses given off by the fermentation process. I opened the bag and it gave off a light scent of, well, rotting fruit. I added fifty cubes of sugar and six packets of Heinz Ketchup. After resealing the bag, I waited for the sugar cubes to dissolve, then kneaded the pulp a little to ensure a good mix. It struck me that I could have very well used uncubed sugar. I ran it under ho*****er for thirty minutes to make things pleasant for the bacteria, then rewrapped my baby in towels and put it back in a safe dark, place.

Day 4 and Day 5
I kept a close eye on my prodigy. The sugar accelerated the fermentation process and by Day Five it looked as if my baby was thinking about exploding into something I didn’t care to clean up. I opened a corner of the bag and let off a little gas.

Day 6 through Day 8
I reheated the bag in the sink for fifteen minutes every day, then rewrapped it in towels. I noticed a floating colony of mold that had taken up residence was growing very nicely. Was my baby sick? Was this normal? Was there no hotline I could call? I put it back in its safe place and hoped for the best.

Day 9
Gripped by a mixture of anticipation and dread, I unwrapped the bag and opened it. As a precaution, I had scented toilet paper stuffed up my nose, but the bouquet still came on like a rotten gauntlet across the snout. My baby had mutated into some form of Frankenstein creature with very bad personal hygiene. I quickly ladled out the large pieces of rotten fruit and the spectacularly successful mold colony, then strained the remainder through a tea strainer.

The Taste Test
I had to fight hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution and instinct to get down the first swallow. Even with my nose stuffed with toilet paper, my first instinct was to vomit out what my lizard brain told me was deadly poison.
But I remembered that I reacted the same way to my first taste of whiskey and carried on. I fended off the idea of mixing it—with drain cleaner, gasoline, anything.

I forced down a cup’s worth, expecting it to eventually get easier. It didn’t. Each new swallow was a fresh insult. I added ice in hopes it would mask the taste or at least kill some of the bacteria. Aside from tasting like moldy and rotted fruit, it tingled against my tongue as vast bacteria colonies rose up and counter-attacked.

When I’d fought and gagged my way through half the first pint, my stomach started rebelling. I could imagine what it was thinking: “Great God, we’re being poisoned! And, get a load of this ****, the ****** keeps sending more down! Are we committing suicide? Did I miss a ******* meeting?”
To put it bluntly, classic pruno tastes like a bottle of Thunderbird filtered through a dumpster full of rotted garbage. Also, a stray dog laps it up from the alley floor and vomits it into a dirty hubcap.

Did it get me drunk? A pint of pruno earned me a mild buzz. Not a “snifter of brandy on the balcony” buzz. But rather a wretched, stomach-churning, sour-mouthed buzz. The equivalent of back alley sex with a toothless crack whore. It’s sex, yes, but you feel more horrified than satisfied.
I’ve never felt a great deal of sympathy for our nation’s prisoners, but I do now.

1132 days ago
35.

STFUP    

LA County Jail? NOT GOOD ENOUGH! B**ch deserves PRISON!

1132 days ago
36.

lou    

One of Lindsay's enablers cries:

"Come on everybody! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn!"

____________________

Better still: Come one everybody! Enable! Enable! Enable!

1132 days ago
37.

yomama    

was she on time????? wtf?!?!??!! lol

1132 days ago
38.

bagladey    

Well, well, well - for the first time ever she's dressed appropriately for court; I wonder why?

1132 days ago
39.

Vinsetta    

TMZ camera dudes. "maybe they're putting the cuffs on her now." lol. here we go again, right back in and up the elevator.

1132 days ago
40.

bunny    

She's going to make some woman in jail very, VERY happy. That must be why she did her hair. She wouldn't want to repulse any of the inmates. Goodbye Lindsay.

1132 days ago
41.

Yono    

I wonder how much it costs LA County in extra security adn so on, every time the media whores like TMZ show up to the courthouse to cover NON-stories like this?

1132 days ago
42.

lou    

Yeah, I was right, pulled back hair, tight face. No time for running to the hairdresser or nail salon for her latest concrete carpet stroll (thanks to BRW for that term.)

Even the shirt wasn't her usually ho' down self.

Nicole must be very disappointed. If a mugshot is made today, I'm afraid it won't be THE mugshot to top ALL mugshots.

1132 days ago
43.

Hank    

Isn't this like Strike four or five for her? At what point do they just give her the chair and put us all out of our misery.

1132 days ago
44.

magmax    

The only cure for this dimwit (and her dimwit mother) is 10 years in the electric chair.

1132 days ago
45.

Kevin Douglas Donahoe    

She is being treated unfairly! What is the STANDARD sentence for her crime (Randy Dorn only got 1 day). Who is the VICTIM (herself ?) Did she give the PROSECUTOR a "Attorney Of Record" I own and copyrighted to prosecute HERSELF ? See http://www.ServiceAndHelp.com for details! Don't click here unless you want to get to the BOTTOM of this!
http://www.serviceandhelp.com/MultiLevelMarketingJobsMLM.aspx

Caution contains VULGAR corruption in our government that needs to be PUT ON TRIAL for war crimes and torture!

1132 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web