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Michael Jackson

Drug-Induced Rambling:

"I Had No Childhood"

10/5/2011 11:35 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Michael Jackson I had no childhood
Michael Jackson
wanted to dedicate his "This Is It" concerts to his children -- and in a heartbreaking conversation Dr. Conrad Murray recorded weeks before the singer died, MJ claims, "I love them because I didn't have a childhood."

You can hear MJ's voice in the recording -- slurred, incoherent -- explaining how he wanted to outdo The Beatles and Elvis with his final concerts, and go down in history as the greatest entertainer who ever lived.

Michael becomes extremely emotional while speaking about his children -- claiming, "I had no childhood. I feel their pain. I feel their hurt."

Murray recorded the conversation on his iPhone on Sunday May 10th, 2009 at 9:05 AM. It's unclear why -- but according to prosecutors, it documents MJ under the influence of "unknown agents." It also shows Murray was familiar with Michael in altered states of mind.

At one point in the clip, Murray asks Michael if he's okay -- and Michael responds, "I am asleep."

The recording -- a clip of which Prosecutor David Walgren played during his opening statement -- was uncovered by investigators after they seized Murray's device.


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This recording was made on May 10th 2009 at 9:07am (I believe).

1. This is fairly early in the morning.
2. Murray was there and (by all accounts) had been there the entire night based on testimony/statements, including his own.
3. Murray has admitted to administering propofol every night for at least 30 nights.
4. Propofol doesn't cause this sort of slurring upon wearing off (from what I understand). Murray was there to be there overnight to help Michael Jackson sleep, so it's unlikely Murray hadn't administered *something* to make Jackson sleepy... especially if he'd had trouble sleeping all night (as on the night of his death).

Jackson sounds sedated, (Murray was there TO sedate him) but his sentences are clear and normally structured, and the statement mostly positive and forward looking except for the end, which explains very personally why he has these (positive) plans.

I really hope the state has some evidence to indicate if Murray had been there

all night,


doing what.

1081 days ago


WOW just WOW this is how a friend of mine sounds after she has Seizures!!! Im not kidding Iwonder if he had seizures too???

1081 days ago


This recording (and the other heard previously) seems to confirm Mr Jackson's sincere love of children and the desire for reparation of the damage fame did to his childhood.

Could it really be MJ was a genuine, caring individual after all? That would explain the devastating impact of events on his psyche. Seems to be making more sense now.

Interesting case, but tragic

1081 days ago


Conrad is guilty of malpractice. MJ is responsible for his death too, given all the drugs he was taking plus paying people to procure same and administer drugs at home. Never was a fan of this very troubled man and his sick family!!

1081 days ago


NOT AT ALL!mj wasn't incoherent in his recording!!!we can CLEARLY understand that he loved children and HIS desire was to build a big hospital 4 children more confortable than a hospital which usually got rooms without games or theatre.. and about your sentence >>"he wanted to outdo The Beatles and Elvis with his final concerts"<<< NOT AT ALL AGAIN.because he DINT WANT to outdo the beatles and elvis, HE WANTED TO DO A BIG SHOW TO GAIN A BIG AMMOUNT OF MONEY 4 HIS MICHAEL JACKSON'S CHILDREN HOSPITAL.THEY, the beatles and elvis, after GAINED A BIG AMMOUNT OF MONEY did not DO ANYTHING 4 tmz STOP WITH BULL****s AND USE YOUR BRAIN!stop throwing **** on michael STOP!!!!!.

1081 days ago

two cents    

HE'S supposed to be the doctor and he's asking Michael if "he's ok"? WTF?! Seriously. This jury had damn well better do the right thing!

1081 days ago


On the overhead that the lawyer put up when listening to the recording MJ did say "Elvis never did it and the Beatles never did it". They didn't show what lead to him saying that. The portion of the tape that they played however was just after MJ making those statements. So we really don't know if he stated he wanted to be better than those artists. This is exactly how rumors get started...

1081 days ago


Michael clearly had such a good heart. This was heartbreaking. :(

1081 days ago


*****he wasn't talking about HIS children..he was referring to the children in hospitals and orphanages all over the world

BTW he didn't have AIDS...he had LUPUS which also effects the immune system

1081 days ago


My heart bleeds... many people didn't have a childhood, living in much more dire cir****tances, and became normal, good and productive people. Sorry, Michael, that all our money did this to you. I'm sure if you knew, you would have given it all back. Yeah, right...

1081 days ago


TMZ you suck! MJ is not talking about Prince, Paris and Blanket. He is referring to "needed" children of the world - hince, the reference to wanting to build a children's Hospital.

1081 days ago


I think it's shameful that any news organization--even a cheap gossip site like TMZ--would share a personal conversation by a person who was under the influence of drugs and who is not alive to give their consent. TMZ is picking the bones of the dead to make money. Enjoy your blood money, Harvey.

1081 days ago


I thought of Mother Theresa and his ability to empathize with the children and their pain, the orphans and lonely kids he helped shield the pain of knowing the truth of their situation,
and of Anna Nicole Smith and the degrading videotape of her made in advance of her death too.....

1081 days ago


This recording proves Mj`s genuine care for the children of this world.
He really wanted to make this world a better place...and you can only do that if you care about and care for the children and start there.
It`s to late for our generation.... proof of that can be found right here on this board.
His love was pure,with no underlying,dark motive, but many people can`t imagine that that is possible; why not?
Women have a pure love for children ,and many,many men as well.
I really hope there will be a Michael Jackson children`s hospital in the could say it was his last wish....

1081 days ago

Evelyn C    

My heart breaks when they played that voice in the recording he never had a childhood he loved his kids he wanted to be happy.Why did'nt his mom stept in when he was growing up she had to know her son wasn't happy.

1081 days ago
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