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Hulk Hogan

Mustache Org. DEVASTATED

Over Plans to Shave

1/12/2012 11:33 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

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Angels will DIE if Hulk Hogan shaves his mustache ... so says the leader of a powerful mustache organization.

TMZ spoke with Dr. Aaron Perlut -- Chairman of the American Mustache Institute and self-professed doctor of "nuclear mustacheology" -- who says he's particularly upset with Hulk's plan to shave ... since he is "seen as a longtime leading figure in the sexually dynamic Mustached American community."

Perlut says, "Not only would the removal of his lower nose foliage cause angels in heaven to die and fall to earth -- as is written in biblical texts -- but it would send a poor message to young people of Mustached American descent who wish to embrace the Mustached American experience."

"We do hope that Mr. Hogan, for whom we have great reverence, reconsiders shaving his upper lip shading device as millions of those he has inspired would be greatly let down, leading to mass chaos and deep bouts of depression in the Mustached American community.”

Neither Hogan nor his mustache could be reached for comment.

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40 COMMENTS

No Avatar
16.

Bird    

I'm genuinely curious to see what he looks like without that big gay mustache on his face.

993 days ago
17.

God says    

Look guys, I'm coming back this year. I called home Elizabeth T, Steve J, and Al D....Heavy D too. I gave you a miracle in Tim T, and still no one fears my return. Well, I have an ace in my pocket....Hulks handlebars! If that doesn't work, I'm coming for Trumps hair.

993 days ago
18.

Gras1hoppa    

Hulk mentioning Dead Wrestlers in passing as a joke wasnt too cool... BROTHER!!!!

993 days ago
19.

Sean    

Too darn funny!! That is HI...larious!! I'm not sure anyone here actually realized the funny contained in this guys statement. "A poor message to the young people of Mustached American Descent"...I say again...HI...larious!!

993 days ago
20.

UPYOURS    

For God's Sake, its just a mustache, he CAN grow it back the world isn't going to end because of this.

993 days ago
21.

Shana    

You MISSPELLED MOUSTACHE!

993 days ago
22.

jetfanglo    

what the F*^# !........SOFA KING WHAAAAAAAT !!!!!!!!!!

993 days ago
23.

ViktorVonGroove    

Are you F-ing kidding me? This is a story?

993 days ago
24.

Mazor    

He wears the mustache to hide the stretch marks on his lips from bl*wing the macho man.

993 days ago
25.

Aaron9944    

Another priceless tmz EXCLUSIVE

993 days ago
26.

UPYOURS    

"Neither Hogan nor his mustache could be reached for comment." Of course he can't be reached, he cannot stop laughing at this idiot.

993 days ago
27.

sobelle7    

Fabulous! Lower nose foliage... upper lip shading device... and the best - sexually dynamic Mustached American community (is being sexually dynamic a good thing?)

There is NO way this isn't satire.

993 days ago
28.

Joe Blow    

Eh Hogan's done this a few times in the 90's for movie roles. Another overblown TMZ non-story.

993 days ago
29.

om    

I'm a straight guy, but I have to say George Clooney looks pretty great even with a Hulk 'stache.

993 days ago
30.

bunny    

Let the man do what he wants to. He just got surgery for the what, thousandth time? Waaaa, he's going to kill our society and destroy lives if he shaves it off, waaaaa.

993 days ago
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