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Katie Holmes

SPINNING

'Cause Tom Has Suri!

7/18/2012 10:35 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

0718_katie_Splash
Katie Holmes was tight-lipped on the streets of New York this AM ... sans Suri.

As her 6-year-old daughter took a chopper ride with her 50-year-old estranged husband ... Katie went to SoulCycle for a little spinning.

Katie spins a lot ... at least that's what Tom's people say.

71 COMMENTS

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1.

Kelly    

She's looks like she escaped a cult. Oh wait, she did.

796 days ago
2.

kerrplunk    

She could come over to my house and hump me.

796 days ago
3.

Majestik    

Tom's people say, huh? Me thinks TMZ is grasping for straws cause now y'all are full of crap. BTW, I thought the divorce was finalized, according to YOUR reporting, if so, that's her 50 yr old EX-Husband, not her estranged. Geez guys.

796 days ago
4.

EggsOverEasy    

Oh yeah? How do Tom's people spin THIS to their new cult recruits?:


Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xemu. Xemu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.

Now Xemu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were over-populated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.

Xemu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).

These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xemu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.

The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).

After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".

When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.

As for Xemu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xemu is still alive today.

796 days ago
5.

Mikey    

Tom Cruise is injecting tracking and listen devices into Suri right now!

796 days ago
6.

tamara    

Katie knows Tom is going to get Suri to say she wants to live with him. And there isn't anything she can do about it. This is really sad.

796 days ago
7.

Jac    

I don't understand why you can't let this people be. They don't sign up to have their pictures taken every waking moment and have their personal lives scrutinized.

796 days ago
8.

Cheryl    

I hope they're paying you enough Harvey because this constant posting on these two is getting on my ****ing nerves.

796 days ago
9.

Cheryl    

Don't you mean ex-husband?

796 days ago
10.

Mr.Bojangles    

Has anyone noticed how TMZ have changed their allegiance from Katie to Tom? is that because Tom threatened to sue every media outlet who post false stories about him and Scientology? Just goes to show TMZ post an AWFUL lot of BS on this site.

796 days ago
11.

Regina    

oooooh, your so funny TMZ. Still drinking the Scientology koolaid I see, huh Harv??? " Katie spins a lot" according to Tom's people, i.e. the cultists. Who wouldn't want to exercise their stress away living with that nut job.

796 days ago
12.

Brendan    

This is just harassment. I goto the same Whole Foods she goes to and I see s***bag vulture paparazzi losers hanging around there.

796 days ago
13.

D    

Yawwwnnnn.

796 days ago
14.

kelly    

Why the hell is she wearing a jacket?!!!!?!?! It's 100 degrees here.

796 days ago
15.

Cooper    

At least we don't have to see the Kar-Trashians on the TMZ site for a while..........Replaced by Katie-Gate

796 days ago
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