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Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked

The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.


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How's the new hand job business La Ho Han!

582 days ago


Is this the stuff she didn't want to do, so she just decided she wasn't going to show up? I mean what roles does she expect? The comeback is getting better and better. Who the hell would to watch this pile of dog crap? And shell out 8 bucks for a ticket for it???

582 days ago


Who keeps pressing the down button damn it?The ungreatful bit*h must be out and about in full force. How come Kind Charlie's money didn't gross her out when he gave her the hundred thou? Lousy ungreatful sonofa....

582 days ago


Weejends ate typically slow, even for Lilo stories. P.S. TMZ, FIX THE DAYUM SITE!!!

582 days ago


Lindsays life will continue to be " One Big Joke".

582 days ago


Did she make a fuss about the last thread calling her a whore so TMZ came out with this thread saying her life is a joke?

582 days ago


I like all of the Scary movies and I will see this on even though Lindsay is in it. She should be honored to have even been asked to do this. Many far more famous actors than Lindsay have done cameos in these movies.

582 days ago


How she keeps getting work is just amazing. Anyone else with all her charges would be in jail. She needs to go to prison. It would actually do her good.

582 days ago


Scary movie should have stopped at two and that really is pushing it. Lindsay looks like a f*king mannequin. Hey thats what she should star in the sequal to the movie Mannequin.

582 days ago


If she can't laugh at her life she has flushed down the toilet of the trailer as we all do, then maybe it's time to change that life before she is living in a trailer park

582 days ago


"Are you kidding?!!! Are you kidding?!!!
TMZ, you're dead to me!!!!!!!!"

582 days ago


I've got a fantastic idea. If we all flush the toilet at the same time we could flush lilio's career down with it. Oh wait a sec. She NEVER had one to begin with. Bottom of the barrel sorry excuse for everything. Just blame it on him. I didn't do that. Good for Sh*t!

582 days ago


LiLo makes this movie with her cameo. Just think how great it would be if she had abigger part.

582 days ago


typical movie these days. Just gotta get that sex in there somewhere! It's gotten old.

582 days ago


If that's the best you can do, Linds.... I suppose I'll let Next year's "Skank 2: The Whoring" glide by, too.

582 days ago
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