TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked



The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

AND FYI
-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.

525 COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

KimKnLohanRSlutbags    

How's the new hand job business La Ho Han!

483 days ago
32.

Vinsetta    

Is this the stuff she didn't want to do, so she just decided she wasn't going to show up? I mean what roles does she expect? The comeback is getting better and better. Who the hell would to watch this pile of dog crap? And shell out 8 bucks for a ticket for it???

483 days ago
33.

svt    

Who keeps pressing the down button damn it?The ungreatful bit*h must be out and about in full force. How come Kind Charlie's money didn't gross her out when he gave her the hundred thou? Lousy ungreatful sonofa....

483 days ago
34.

Twiz    

Weejends ate typically slow, even for Lilo stories. P.S. TMZ, FIX THE DAYUM SITE!!!

483 days ago
35.

Lucky_130    

Lindsays life will continue to be " One Big Joke".

483 days ago
36.

Vinsetta    

Did she make a fuss about the last thread calling her a whore so TMZ came out with this thread saying her life is a joke?

483 days ago
37.

seamus     

I like all of the Scary movies and I will see this on even though Lindsay is in it. She should be honored to have even been asked to do this. Many far more famous actors than Lindsay have done cameos in these movies.

483 days ago
38.

acdude    

How she keeps getting work is just amazing. Anyone else with all her charges would be in jail. She needs to go to prison. It would actually do her good.

483 days ago
39.

Jay    

Scary movie should have stopped at two and that really is pushing it. Lindsay looks like a f*king mannequin. Hey thats what she should star in the sequal to the movie Mannequin.

483 days ago
40.

21stcent    

If she can't laugh at her life she has flushed down the toilet of the trailer as we all do, then maybe it's time to change that life before she is living in a trailer park

483 days ago
41.

SPAM    

"Are you kidding?!!! Are you kidding?!!!
QUAAAAACKquackquackquackquackquack!!!!!!
TMZ, you're dead to me!!!!!!!!"

483 days ago
42.

svt    

I've got a fantastic idea. If we all flush the toilet at the same time we could flush lilio's career down with it. Oh wait a sec. She NEVER had one to begin with. Bottom of the barrel sorry excuse for everything. Just blame it on him. I didn't do that. Good for Sh*t!

483 days ago
43.

MarcaR    

LiLo makes this movie with her cameo. Just think how great it would be if she had abigger part.

483 days ago
44.

BC    

typical movie these days. Just gotta get that sex in there somewhere! It's gotten old.

483 days ago
45.

SPAM    

If that's the best you can do, Linds.... I suppose I'll let Next year's "Skank 2: The Whoring" glide by, too.

483 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web