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Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked

The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.


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It would be great if only Ed O'Neil ( Al Bundy ) would share his thought's on all this as one! Oh man we would here some real interesting Sh*t!

609 days ago


Is it me or do some of these comments make no sense at all?

609 days ago


This is so ridiculous, Lindsay has about 2 monutes in this movie and TMZ are posting story after story about SM5.

Here is some info for you TMZ, Lindsay is an ACTRESS, she received a fee for this role, she doesn't write the script, its FICTION and as you said yourselves, we don't know what is in the final scenes. TMZ little biches of the gossip sites lol

609 days ago


Sounds like the basis for a SNL live skit, not a movie.

609 days ago


This is the person who home schooled her kids:

Dina Lohan‏@dinalohan

Back to back lohan B-days :) Happy Birthday to me sweet @aliana . I love you so much! xo

609 days ago

Grandma Cracker    

Swampy here today.....

609 days ago


Now I know why Lindsay removed actress, and 'artist of many things' from her twitter account profile. That's the first time she's been honest with her fans and herself in a long time!

609 days ago


How is it Lindsay has no problem making fun of herself when she is getting paid for it (SNL and this), but she is in denial the rest of the time.

People like Charlie Sheen because he owns his bad behavior. If Lindsay owned hers, she wouldn't have so many haters.

609 days ago


Her face is the only scary part of that trailer

609 days ago


Hey, that's where she's at at this point in her life, and she did put herself there by living in denial and refusing to seriously get some help. From what I've read she still blames everyone around her for her troubles and that needs to stop. I know people aren't going to like what I say next, BUT I am truly worried she might get desperate enough to hurt herself. It seems as though it has almost become a sport taking shots at Lindsey and this really needs to end. She's wounded and down for the count, even though she's in denial and refuse's help. We seriously need to exercise some compassion here; at least quit making fun of her so much. When you seriously look at how she was raised her parents are a joke, mom snorting coke with her till the wee hours, often chasing the same boys and dad beating on his women when he was out of jail that is…then there's her friends who probably told her whatever she wanted to hear so long as she picked up the tab and shared her cocaine. Still she does have to admit her part in all of this or the healing will never begin. We all laugh now, but if we wake up one morning to read the latest line on her and read that she didn't make it through the night; I don't think we'll be laughing anymore.

609 days ago


I used to feel bad for her and hoped she got her life straight. Now I don't think it will ever happen. She's too far gone. What a waste.

609 days ago


You know, I can take them making fun of her falling over drunk, her tendency to have sticky fingers and remove things that isn't her's. I'm a little put off that they would make fun of her driving. From what we've seen its just a matter of time before she seriously hurts someone and I just can't get past that. Who knows, I won't be watching this one anyway.

609 days ago


I think this movie franchise will be dead after this one.

609 days ago

Bear King of the Dead Thread Heads (and he means it)    

Don't have to read the story.....headline says it all.

609 days ago


Just happened to be channel surfing and "The Parent Trap" was on. I watched it for a couple of minutes. It's sad she was such a cute little girl.

609 days ago
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