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Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked

The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.


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Okay, what's the name of the actress that stars in these movies, or did (Anna something) dang, should've googled it. It would have been funnier if this scene would've played out with Charlie talking to the lead actress as if she's Lindsay, and calling her Lohan. She could get out of bed and go look in the mirror and see Liho starring back at her. Liho in the mirror then could've mimicked Maulkey's kid character in Home Alone and then have Liho's mirror head spin around and take off from there with Charlie playing the part of the priest and Anna Ferris ooo, I remembered her name LOL. Then becoming Regan from the Exorcist, the whole time she does the spinning scene and puking scene we can see Liho still in the mirror behind her.

668 days ago


Lindsay Lohan: "I'LL MAKE IT INTO

Yeah, Linds really is that stupid. She
was homeschooled. By DUIna.

668 days ago


publicity stunt that's all it is .These people have no morals .anything for a dollar on her part .Go ahead Lindsay put your head under the covers

667 days ago


The word whore is a bad word at any time in any culture For many years I worked as a photographer from entertainers to women that are in the business .Believe it or not if it wasn't for some women in the business sex for money .there would be more rapes ,sexual abuse and higher rate of domestic violence women doing something for money that the wives won't do at home . I wouldn't put Lindsay in that class of woman . Lindsay I believe has a sickness it's called ignorance .She can read she hears what people say she has internet . The only way to get people back is to be very ignorant .( who me ?) A person can't tell or teach her anything .It's borderline with everything she does in life she uses a gift as a game as a child she did have a gift . On screen she is terrible ,off screen she is the best actress out there an ignorant part she is playing .Tomorrow she will be just as ignorant as she was yesterday

667 days ago

Lindsay Lohan Fan Forever    

I hope the part about Herbie isn't there. I love Herbie.

667 days ago


The new year is just about here....
Did you get your 2013 NICOLEndar?
This year's edition is much larger than ever before. For some reason.

667 days ago


skanks. the whole family are skanks. especially that old bag mama.

667 days ago


Lindsay has been laying low? That's the biggest joke I've heard! Maybe for the last week she has (funds ran out???), but traveling with a boy band, who admitted they were partying hard with her, is NOT laying low!

Lindsay is in the gossip columns because she craves it. It's the only publicity she can get, and in Lohan land, ANY publicity, whether it's good or bad, is good in their eyes.

667 days ago


Close, Lindsay ...YOU are the joke...and we're not laughing with you, we are most definitely laughing AT you.

667 days ago


Sounds pretty accurate. She's still in denial.

667 days ago


F*** you - I'm a STAR!!!

667 days ago


Not a bad scream for someone with pneumonia.

667 days ago


shoot yourself

667 days ago


do you want to hear a joke?


667 days ago

Bear King of the Dead Thread Heads (and he means it)    

It's already 8 where I am............not that many comments as opposed to last night...she starting to get very boring.

667 days ago
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