TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked



The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

AND FYI
-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.

525 COMMENTS

No Avatar
121.

Grandma Cracker    

Maddy, I wanna see the birthday picture where she is hammered

669 days ago
122.

Zephyr, Enemy of #LittleWhores    

I see TMZ's Jr High School censors are hard at work tonight.

669 days ago
123.

magmax    

Red Cloudy Elmo's feather socket is clogged with banana debris again.

669 days ago
124.

Grandma Cracker    

We love Lacey Wintle

669 days ago
125.

Ellie G    

Hi everyone! It's my Birfday!!! Drinks are on me! CHEERS!

Lindsay will never be anything but the butt of jokes now.

669 days ago
126.

Grandma Cracker    

Thanks for the clickable Zeph. How come only Lindsay and Dina are drunk?

669 days ago
127.

LISA    

Will someone please explain.... who is Chief Gall and why have so many comments been deleted?

669 days ago
128.

SPAM    

So Sh!tbox Lohan got away with trashing the Liz Taylor trailer. The owner's still suing the crap out of LaughTime. Guaranteed - Linds will be served with a subpoena to testify that she left it in pristine condition. How many times will Linds blow off her deposition? Busy shopping? Unresponsive? Dehydrated and exhausted? "On set"? Which lie will she start with - staggering pneumonia?

669 days ago
129.

svt    

Just checking an issue here at the Four Season's LA. Moments ago arrived at bar and their is an overflowing toilet in the women's room. That bitch! I bet she's here. But wait she can't even afford the toilet paper here. Nevertheless a drink Sh*t!

669 days ago
130.

Grandma Cracker    

La Litterbox is not allowed to use toilets anymore

669 days ago
131.

JFK    

Hey Charlie looks good......

669 days ago
132.

Marvin    

Zeph, you moronic imbecile, don't imply that I'm Chief or anybody else.

669 days ago
133.

SPAM    

I wonder if Linds and AA Aliana made it into that big cocaine-and-witchcraft lesbian orgy in the Hamptons? I've heard they let pretty much anybody in who gets off on that kind of thing.

669 days ago
134.

Bear King of the Dead Thread Heads (and he means it)    

Am I right in saying Jan 15th is when this gnarly knucklehead appears in court?

669 days ago
135.

woodin    

looks lame....has beens

669 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web