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Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked

The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.


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Grandma Cracker    

Maddy, I wanna see the birthday picture where she is hammered

671 days ago

Zephyr, Enemy of #LittleWhores    

I see TMZ's Jr High School censors are hard at work tonight.

671 days ago


Red Cloudy Elmo's feather socket is clogged with banana debris again.

671 days ago

Grandma Cracker    

We love Lacey Wintle

671 days ago

Ellie G    

Hi everyone! It's my Birfday!!! Drinks are on me! CHEERS!

Lindsay will never be anything but the butt of jokes now.

671 days ago

Grandma Cracker    

Thanks for the clickable Zeph. How come only Lindsay and Dina are drunk?

671 days ago


Will someone please explain.... who is Chief Gall and why have so many comments been deleted?

671 days ago


So Sh!tbox Lohan got away with trashing the Liz Taylor trailer. The owner's still suing the crap out of LaughTime. Guaranteed - Linds will be served with a subpoena to testify that she left it in pristine condition. How many times will Linds blow off her deposition? Busy shopping? Unresponsive? Dehydrated and exhausted? "On set"? Which lie will she start with - staggering pneumonia?

671 days ago


Just checking an issue here at the Four Season's LA. Moments ago arrived at bar and their is an overflowing toilet in the women's room. That bitch! I bet she's here. But wait she can't even afford the toilet paper here. Nevertheless a drink Sh*t!

671 days ago

Grandma Cracker    

La Litterbox is not allowed to use toilets anymore

671 days ago


Hey Charlie looks good......

671 days ago


Zeph, you moronic imbecile, don't imply that I'm Chief or anybody else.

671 days ago


I wonder if Linds and AA Aliana made it into that big cocaine-and-witchcraft lesbian orgy in the Hamptons? I've heard they let pretty much anybody in who gets off on that kind of thing.

671 days ago

Bear King of the Dead Thread Heads (and he means it)    

Am I right in saying Jan 15th is when this gnarly knucklehead appears in court?

671 days ago


looks lame....has beens

671 days ago
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