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Lindsay Lohan

Rehab

Is Gonna Ruin My Birthday!

3/23/2013 11:40 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

0322-lindsay-lohan-rehab-birthday-tmzDon't you just hate it when court-ordered rehab totally ruins your birthday plans? Lindsay Lohan does ... and is telling friends she's super bummed she'll be turning 27 while on lockdown.

There's no getting around it ... Lindsay has been ordered to check-in to a rehab facility for 90 days within the next month and half, so her July 2 birthday WILL fall in the treatment zone ... and she's pissed.

To be clear ... not about the whole rehab thing ... just about missing her birthday (seriously).

We're told LiLo had big plans -- which involved throwing a party in NYC -- but now it's all gone to the crapper after she copped a plea deal with prosecutors and took rehab over jail

In case you forgot, LiLo has already been to rehab five times since 2007 -- including one stint during her 21st bday as well -- but none have stuck. Sources close to LiLo tell us, they're hoping this next trip will finally sober her up.

Again ... still beats jail.

329 COMMENTS

No Avatar
151.

Mumra the Ever Living    

DIRT Blathered Out His Azzhole
You are all so lame. So jealous. So living a fantasy life you'll never have. I can just see all your butt ugly faces pressed against a computer screen, playing with yourselves over Lohan news. You are all fvcked up nerds that never had or ever will have a life. And the biggest joke is you all think you're important.
.
.
Dear Puke,
You sound very angry, I guess that's what happens when you are an abject failure at life.
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About us thinking we're important: I don't think I'm important, I KNOW I'm important. Do you really think that being a "celebrity" is important? In the grand scheme of all life, what a "Celebrity" does is about as un-important as it gets. What Lindsay Lohan does is an abomination of what the human race can achieve.
.
How do I know I'm important? By what I've accomplished in my life, what I'm doing at this point in life, by what people ask me to do that they aren't capable of, and by the satisfaction I have from a life well spent.
.
Now someone as pathetic as you? I can see why you're blubbering and blustering this crap. What a horrid little existence you must live. Perhaps you think being all gacked up most of the day and sucking strange cocque for a living is a "fantasy life" . . . I don't think you'll find many people here to agree with you though. I guess if our lives were as miserable as yours we might feel different.

392 days ago
152.

Andyconda#LITTLESTAR    

between Military, Travel construction and living away from Family..I have missed a Shyt Load of Birthdays..

Normal people will except it...

Crackheads want any excuse to be wasted and a drain on society..

How many of you have missed things due to being a grown up??

392 days ago
153.

Queen.of.the.Obvious    

I don't know what's more hilarious. Lindsay being offered probation and rehab yet again. Or the comments here from all of her "supporting fans". Trust me littler girls, there is NOTHING about Lilo to be jealous or to be "hating on". This chick is tore up from the floor up and needs to come to the realization that she isn't a victim and needs to man up to her substance abuse issues and bad decision making. If any regular Joe Shmoe had been caught speeding down a highway, run into the back of a big rig, lied to cops about who was driving, etc, they sure as hell would not be offered probation and rehab, and that's the truth. She got off scott-free yet again. So what are you Lindsay "fans" so worked up over. Clearly, our not so favorable opinions of her don't matter in the least. She got off light on this one - just like all the other times. So messed up, Lindsay-loving youth rejoice and don't worry your empty little heads about what some random internet commenters have to say about her.

392 days ago
154.

richardwww    

@Andyconda

I don't see you overseas defending either, I see you sitting in front of your computer hating on a girl, it must make you so proud you pathetic little wimp.

392 days ago
155.

seamus     

@ Dirt what are you still doing here? Isn't Golden Corral open or do they deliver to you because you are such a good customer?

392 days ago
156.

anonymous    

No faith in her rehabbing ever.

392 days ago
157.

Rae    

If she goes to rehab this week sometime she'll be out just in time for her bday celebration. Quit dragging your heals and get it done!

392 days ago
158.

LK    

NEW THREAD !

392 days ago
159.

Black Dirt Goodness    

You losers are so fat and ugly with no personalities no one will associate with you. That's why you live your lame azz lives on here trashing other people to make you feel better. Believe me, it's not hard to figure you all out.

392 days ago
160.

Andyconda#LITTLESTAR    

ever wonder why Lielo is Hated and thought of as stupid..read her fans repeat comments..

the cocaine doesn't sit far from the straw

392 days ago
161.

S.G.Gothic    

If she went into rehab right now she would make it out in time for her birthday. Too busy getting wasted tho hoc

392 days ago
162.

Black Dirt Goodness    

I think it's cool if they legalize gay marriage , but poor Andy is so fat and ugly, no one will marry him!

392 days ago
163.

Black Dirt Goodness    

You losers are so fat and ugly with no personalities no one will associate with you. That's why you live your lame azz lives on here trashing other people to make you feel better. Believe me, it's not hard to figure you all out.

392 days ago
164.

swack    

So if she had gone directly to rehab and not wait until May 2nd, she would have been out of rehab by her birthday.

392 days ago
165.

odie    

For anyone out there that thinks it will be difficult for Crackie to find a prosecution approved rehab, rest assured there are PLENTY of places that will take her. Rehabs are literally on every street corner and as such, there are competing for that valuable and rare healthcare dollar. Most insurance companies are starting to catch on to the fact that most of these rehab-by-the-sea facilites have no proven fact-based treatment plan established and are starting to deny payments based on their success rate. Every rehab place out there-theyr'e that c.0.cky-thinks they have the "midas cure" so they will all be jumping out the chance at taking a CRACK at CRACKIE. The only rehabs not jumping at the chance will be the million others she went to and relapsed from immediately afterwards.Although of course, technically you have to GET SOBER to officially relapse. And that's something she's never done. But that's beside the point. Just think how much business a rehab could get if they "CURED" our little Crackie. Addicts seeking help and their insurance companies will remember the rehab that got Crackie sober when deciding who gets those healthcare dollars. And if they failed, since there is a endless sea of others that have failed, no one would blame them. So on 5/2-if she makes it that long without violating these conditions-it will e complete BS if Slopehead Heller asks for an extension. And I have to say on a completely other note, that this plea deal she agreed to is absolutely horrible. I can not believe that Holley would have brokered a deal that included being searched without a warrant 24/7. Is Crackie's fear of being abandoned and/or alone that strong that she agreed to this? Because if it is, THIS is what her "PARK AVE." therapist should focus on when treating her BPD- "cure"this fear so she can do the straight jail time instead of these doomed plea deals.

392 days ago
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