Judge Rips Kris Humphries New A-Hole for Being No-Show

If Kris Humphries were listening closely from New York, he could have heard a California judge screaming at his lawyer in court -- because Kris blew off a mandatory court appearance -- and it's worse than we first thought.

As we reported ... the settlement conference was scheduled for 8:30 AM today, but sources connected with Kris told TMZ ... he was stuck in New York. We're told in court today ... Judge Goldberg went nuclear, saying Kris could have caught a flight and that he mocked and disrespected the court.

Judge Goldberg was so pissed ... he set a sanction hearing -- meaning Kris may be hit with fines for being a no-show.

There was obviously no settlement reached today ... We're told both Kim and Kris must appear on the 19th for a pre-trial readiness/settlement conference. Kris better show.

Kim, on the other hand, was in court ... she answered all the judge's questions. Score one for Kardashian.

And if that wasn't enough ... she looked like a (pregnant) rock star when she left the building.