TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Lindsay Lohan

Gets D For Attendance

at 'SM5' Premiere

4/12/2013 6:30 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

0412_charlie_sheen_lindsay_GettyLindsay Lohan is as predictable as a pineapple in a Mai Tai ... she showed up 40 minutes late for her "Scary Movie 5" premiere.

In fact ... she blew in 30 minutes before they rolled up the red carpet.

Her "SM5" and "Anger Management" co-star Charlie Sheen broke away from a few interviews to snap a few pics with the soon-to-be-in-rehab-but-not-until-after-she-goes-to-Coachella starlet.



Bet she won't be late when Phoenix takes the stage.

391 COMMENTS

No Avatar
91.

Grandma Cracker    

HA HA, here is the idiot who gave it a fresh, and even he says Lindsay sucks. BTW, I like his disclaimer....
`
SCARY MOVIE V Review: Is It Moronic Enough?
`
The latest parody film feels like an issue of Mad Magazine... but not a particularly great one.
`
Full disclosure: I giggled through much of Scary Movie V. Then again, I’m the kind of guy who finds a log of poop wrapped in a banana peel and presented as food to be pretty funny.
`
The fifth instalment of the not-so-venerable parody series keeps on keeping on; clearly aimed at 13 year old boys, Scary Movie V is a litany of kicks to the balls, whacks to the head, farts, pratfalls and not very subtle riffs on popular movies of the last few years. Some of the jokes actually work, while some work only on the level of being so absurdly stupid you can’t believe they put it on film. And then most of the jokes are just sort of there, never exactly working.
`
This time out the film spoofs the Paranormal Activity series (huge points for an extended Haunted Pool Cleaner gag!), Black Swan, Rise of the Planet of the Apes,Evil Dead 2013, Inception, Fifty Shades of Grey, Insidious and most, of all, Mama. Lots and lots of Mama. The way the movie parodies are woven through a larger ‘narrative’ is actually impressive in that it almost works as a ‘story.’ But nobody is coming to the fifth Scary Movie for a yarn, they’re coming for lots of scenes of babies being set on fire, being blown out of tubas, smashed into doorways and otherwise abused.
`
There’s a sub-Mad Magazine quality to the comedy. You can see the Jack Davis layouts right there on screen. If Airplane! was Mad Magazine at its absolute best, a real genius work of insanity, this is Mad Magazine on a particularly off issue. You’ll still laugh, and maybe the Fold-In has quality, but generally this is an issue you don’t bother trying to get back after the teacher confiscates it.
`
What will likely get the most attention is the opening of the film, which has Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan playing themselves making a sex tape in a haunted house. This is deadly stuff as Sheen and Lohan are comedy black holes - they’re so bad they make dismal star Simon Rex come across like Leslie Nielsen. Thankfully once the awful, self-referential opening is over (and after a pretty tedious bit involving Snoop Dogg and the intolerable Mac Miller), things get moving a bit. The structure of Scary Movie V is a mess, so there are long stretches of time when just nothing funny is happening, but every couple of minutes they’ll bust out a joke so dumb, so base, so juvenile, that you have to smile.
`
Part of the problem is that there's no Anna Faris in this cast. Ashley Tisdale is fine, but she doesn't have the comic chops to be a background player on Saturday Night Live, let alone the lead in a parody movie. David Zucker co-wrote Scary Movie V, but his casting touch is missed. There are some fine secondary players but none of the leads really bring it. With better comic talent many of the flat jokes might have actually elicited laughs.
`
There’s a lot of weird racial comedy in the film, but somehow that feels... okay. There’s a hispanic maid and a booty dancing black girl (as well as an appearance by Madea, but I digress), but the way they’re used reminds me of when my family howls at Italian stereotypes in movies. The audiences for Scary Movie V will be very ‘urban,’ as they say in the biz, and I think that these racial bits are actually aimed there, not as much at the dopey white teens in the suburbs.
`
Is Scary Movie V good? Not on any defensible level. Did I laugh? Yeah, but rarely belly laughs - lots of chuckles at things like a little girl waterboarding her dolly, lots of putting my head in my hands and giggling at things like a Leonardo DiCaprio imitator bringing a dog into a dream (full of ****ing poodles),a couple of hearty LOLs at hyper-intelligent apes flinging ****. That’s not bad for a movie called Scary Movie V, I suppose.

505 days ago
92.

MADISYN, LIAISON TO THE H8TURDS!!    

#TEAMJIMNORTON

505 days ago
93.

Vinsetta    

I'm going to have to start listening to O and A on Sirius/XM since Stern is out like every day due to AGT. Does anyone have the info about Blo being laughed at last night at Bar Marmont?

505 days ago
94.

Grandma Cracker    

Lucky, about Plan9........I LOVE ED WOOD, but the critics did not. He was a genius.........

505 days ago
95.

MADISYN, LIAISON TO THE H8TURDS!!    

I think The CLAMyons is going to go down as her worst film ever and shall we discuss the reviews it will receive? I'm making my prediction now. The reviews for L & D and SM5 will seem GLOWING for whats about to be said about Blohan and The CLAMyons!!
#anotherdud

505 days ago
96.

Grandma Cracker    

HA HA
`
I Know Who Killed Me got a 9% on the tomatometer

505 days ago
97.

Gargamel    

Wonderful woman.

505 days ago
98.

Grandma Cracker    

So when do the water bottle pictures from DRUNK-chella start rolling in?

505 days ago
99.

Vinsetta    

Coming up on TMZ Live, Item 3:
-
Plus, Lindsay Lohan's Coachella trip is the biggest recipe for disaster since "Dick and LIz." Is there any chance she makes it back from the music fesitval ... without police assistant?

Read more: http://www.tmz.com#ixzz2QHcZmcQ0
Visit the TMZ Store: http://tmzstore.com

505 days ago
100.

Lucky_130    

Im sure if Roger Ebert would have lived long enough to see this movie, he would have given it two thumbs way down

505 days ago
101.

MADISYN, LIAISON TO THE H8TURDS!!    

Why doesn't Milo fly in for Cokechella, four of his six kids are there?

505 days ago
102.

Vinsetta    

Harvey is right. I agree. This rehab is not going to work because she's there to avoid jail. I've got some advice for Lohan. Pull a George Costanza. Do the OPPOSITE of whatever you think. Because your current decision making is ALWAYS wrong. I can't think of one good decision she's made ever.

505 days ago
103.

smileandshine    

I think they would make a perfect couple, seriously. And definite chemistry there. Look how much she smiled after that kiss.

505 days ago
104.

pattycakes not to be confused with pattycake    

Is something epic about to happen? My elbow hurts, it always hurts when a epic event is on the horizon.

505 days ago
105.

LLsez    

Blo Is In The House!

The Blo Mugshot Pics On Stix© will be flying HIGH in Coachella this weekend!!!


http://www.coachella.com

505 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web