TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Michael Lohan

Feed Lindsay False Stories for Book

I'll Sue!

12/17/2013 12:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

1216_michael_dina_lindsay_lohan_tm
Lindsay Lohan
's new tell-all book project has a new wrinkle ... if she tells all she'll end up smack in the middle of a lawsuit between her mom and her dad.

Michael Lohan believes when it comes to writing about Lindsay's childhood, Dina Lohan will tell her daughter defamatory stories about Michael.

So we've learned Michael's lawyer just sent a threatening letter to Dina, reminding her about the gag order which was imposed in their divorce ... the gag order which states, ""The wife shall not, directly or indirectly, publish, or cause to be published, any diary, memoir, letter, story"  blah blah blah involving her marriage to Michael.

Most honest storyteller

  • Dina
  • Michael
  • Lindsay
As we reported, Michael has already warned Dina not to trash talk him in Dina's own tell-all book.

The Lohan's have a lot to tell, if they tell the truth. 

So we gotta ask --

85 COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

Sam    

Dina reminds me of a former friend, but the former friend was pretty.

123 days ago
32.

LA Native    

OK, this is lengthy but awesome...from Superficial
.
Almost a year ago to this day, James Franco said in an interview that the main reason Lindsay Lohan doesn’t get her **** together is because every time she goes to jail or rehab, someone offers her a book deal. A claim that seemed laughable until this weekend when it became clear it wasn’t just some random thought on a fart cloud between jizzes on Batman’s mask. I’m as shocked as you are. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan has decided to open the flood gates — penning a gritty, tell-all book about EVERYTHING … her arrests, her drug abuse, her acting career, and her family … and she’s already gotten several serious publishing offers.
Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ, the book started as a series of journal entries, which she wrote in rehab as a therapeutic exercise. The book is still in its early stages, and it doesn’t have a clear focus, but she says she wants to open up every part of her life.

Here’s an exclusive excerpt that will be more legitimate than the final product because it’s written by someone who isn’t Lindsay Lohan:


Pomp And Cir***stance
Suge Knight’s son was pressing my face into Samantha Ronson’s vagina again. I didn’t want to be here, but these are things you do when you’re a beautiful actress. It’s not pretty, like me, but this was the life. Gritty, and no holds bar. I don’t really know you hold a bar, but the expression fit.
As I tried to pretend I was into licking a ***** that looked like a gargoyle’s face – Acting, you’re always there fore me. – I couldn’t help but feel a natural, almost animalistic urge to kick it as hard I could. My father would later explain to me that Clan Lohan were born vagina kickers and had once ruled a small town in Ireland until the wives became hooked on gin instead of whisky. Their treachery undid all the men’s hard work and forced the whole clan to move to Long Island where the wives stopped dancing and let themselves go a little bit. Not too bad, but you could just tell they didn’t care like they used to, and that’s why the men had to have sex with their secretaries. His stories were long and confusing like that, but it’s important to know where you’ve been so you know where you’re going.
For me, that was an Oscar. A golden statue that would guarantee I’d never have to lick another weird little man’s vagina while he pretends to be a genius at making playlists. God, I hate this town, but soon I would own it.
Anyway, I may have tried just a little bit of cocaine during all of this, but I didn’t really like it. In fact, forget I even said that part because now I remember I didn’t. I definitely didn’t. It gives me cramps. Not as bad as alcohol does which is more of a crampy, allergic vertigo, so I never touch that stuff either. Not when there’s art to make…

[Notes: The next part is going to be about Liz & Dick reviving my career, so I'm going to need a quote from Elizabeth Taylor that says how honored she was to be played by me. I know she's dead, so find someone who's really good at writing quotes for dead people because I want this to be super believable. Authenticity is very important to me. President Obama will back that up, but not if you have ask him about it. That's racist. - LL]

123 days ago
33.

awards    

PRESS RELEASE! The Battle Hymn of the CrackHo Grifter Gypsy Mother -- The Handbook for The Rest of Us ' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ Epic Tome by Dina Lohan

What to do if your kids are not well mannered, intelligent or Asian? How to survive Bi Coastal without traditional family values? How to party like a Rock Star on the backs of your kids? Why throwing your kids in the Love Canal is just not toxic enough? Want your kids Numba One?

Excerpts and Abstracts
Some Mothers borrow a cup of sugar from their neighbors…Me, I borrow the husband, strap one of my growing brood on his back and bang him like a screen door in a hurricane while the kids watch.

Cody. Castrated a Great White Shark while riding monster waves at Mavericks. Pimps out his sisters.

Ali. Enables and unconditionally supports the greatest train wreck of all time. Gives prostate massages to Uncle Terry without using her hands.

Lindsay. The star of the show! Has her own NIH—CDC Tracking Number as a potential Bio Threat; is an A Lister with the FBI, State and Local Law Enforcement; Voted Most Likely To Suck Seed at International Porn Expo, 2012. Major supporter of the underground tax free economy.

Quote
A lot of people wonder how Non-Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. (Dina is not one of those parents. Editor)

(Poto by DWIna)

123 days ago
34.

It's Nikki Bitches    

Can anyone open this?


Newspusher Celebrity ‏@NP_Celebrities 3h
Lindsay Lohan stands up in the passenger seat while going inside her SUV in New York City http://dlvr.it/4WyhXz

123 days ago
35.

thunder    

Lindsay needs to write the book for herself. Dont ask michael or dina any questions. Hope she stays clean .

123 days ago
36.

GarrettG    

None of them are honest. So if Lindsay can't talk about her childhood, then this book won't even see the light of day. Which I'm fine with since no one will buy it anyways.

123 days ago
37.

pat    

And if he is not mentionned at all, not one word about him, he'll still complain.

123 days ago
38.

It's Nikki Bitches    

New Thread

123 days ago
39.

bernergirl    

I can't even pick 1 of the 3, that's how messed up that family is.

123 days ago
40.

Jordan    

That is one great idea Michael? Sue Dina When she has no Money and it is in Lindsay's Book Your Lawsuit will Go No Where unless you sue Lindsay.

123 days ago
41.

Alize    

Whos gonna read that crap anyway

123 days ago
42.

LISA    

Isn't selling defamatory stories to the rag mags for money considered 'publishing'? Maybe Milo wants a cut of Dina's book money or she's already agreed to give him a percentage if he helps her advertise it.

123 days ago
43.

Trendsinbrillen    

I love the sunglasses she is wearing :-) check http://www.trendsinbrillen.nl for other nice glasses!

123 days ago
44.

LDB    

Milo is a cancer to society

123 days ago
45.

Joao    

I diagnosis that family as having a histrionic personality disorder, with severe episodes of psychotic disillusions of grandeur exacerbated by affluenza that felt to have been attributed to the corrupt Californian and it's affiliates multi-layered preferential celebrity justice system fueled by favors and reelections contributions from celebrity lawyers to maintain unethical judges and prosecutors in their position.

123 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web