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Johnny to Victor

There Will Be No Mutual Masturbation

From Here on Out!

4/15/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

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Johnny Weir wrote a 5-page post-nup which is part of his newfangled reconciliation package with Victor Voronov -- and Johnny makes it clear mutual masturbation will NOT be tolerated.

TMZ broke the story ... Johnny and Victor agreed over the weekend to call off their divorce, but Victor wanted Johnny to sign a document apologizing for trashing Victor in the media and promising to keep Johnny's mom out of their relationship.

So Johnny fired back with a document of his own, which, among other things, defines the type of cheating that will not be tolerated.  The document -- obtained by TMZ -- lists the following:

-- sex outside the marriage
-- oral sex outside the marriage
-- kissing or making out
-- sexting
-- aggressive flirting
-- mutual masturbation
-- social media/grindr/dating

And it gets better.  According to the document, if either one has a situation where they're "in close range or contact with someone from our past or someone to be part of the future" ... the other can veto the contact.  Johnny specifically gives an example of a figure skater he dated.

The document also requires joint STD tests every 6 months with the results being read with both in the room.

And there's a section about splitting assets if they ultimately get divorced:  "Should a gift be given, i.e., the Cartier Roadster (R.I.P.), the gift belongs to you."  Someone broke the watch!

And finally ... there's a section titled "Ultimatums."   Johnny lists examples of Victor's ultimatums, including, "If I give you one more day to get your bank records to me, then I want to have a free f*** of anyone I want."

Simply fabulous.

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215 COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

Sally    

If you have to go through all that with your significant other, how happy are you to begin with? It sounds like a punishment for what each other did.

201 days ago
32.

bernergirl    

This is just going too far. It makes them sound like animals with no self control... Bad image.

201 days ago
33.

Doug    

The gay lifestyle.. enjoy!

201 days ago
34.

Hypecat    

True story - a friend of a friend who works at a Manhattan hospital told her that Johnny Weir was recently admitted to the ER with a foreign object up his butt. It took 10 surgeons several hours to extract the object. As it tuns out Johnny had sex (bottom) forgetting that he had stored a Faberge egg up his butt for safekeeping. When he came home unexpectedly after surgery, he found Victor in the living room with his butt covered in peanut butter, trying to coax his poor Persian spaniel to lick it off. Needless to say, both have accused the other of cheating and the reconciliation is off!
Johnny will keep the dead animal carcass on his back and Victor will keep the 2010 Hermes handbag under glass.

201 days ago
35.

Tony    

Speaking as a gay man, these pathetic "queers" make me sick.

201 days ago
36.

Just Me    

Ok they are officially worse than any woman ever could be.

201 days ago
37.

Joe    

The gay lifestyle puts one on the express road to hell. This is just proof.

201 days ago
38.

BS    

Damn get off these ***s nuts already , harvey is trying hard then a bitch to put these two in the news i see no other news station sayin anything about them , now they post some list full of more bs

201 days ago
39.

BellaJ    

These types of written demands are not normal. This is just tmi

201 days ago
40.

JFO    

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ..........................

201 days ago
41.

Cromulent    

Gosh, its a good thing we upended civilization's oldest institution for this.

201 days ago
42.

Zorayda    

I think I speak for most of us when I say:

GET A JOB, VICTOR!

201 days ago
43.

ImSoReal    

The one on the right in the picture looks stable, the one on the left is messed up.

200 days ago
44.

Zorayda    

Also, this: keep your fantasies to yourself, Victor. Nobody wants to hear it. Least of all Johnny.

200 days ago
45.

Sheldon Siegel    

Anyone else sense a reality show in the works?

200 days ago
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