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Johnny to Victor

There Will Be No Mutual Masturbation

From Here on Out!

4/15/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

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Johnny Weir wrote a 5-page post-nup which is part of his newfangled reconciliation package with Victor Voronov -- and Johnny makes it clear mutual masturbation will NOT be tolerated.

TMZ broke the story ... Johnny and Victor agreed over the weekend to call off their divorce, but Victor wanted Johnny to sign a document apologizing for trashing Victor in the media and promising to keep Johnny's mom out of their relationship.

So Johnny fired back with a document of his own, which, among other things, defines the type of cheating that will not be tolerated.  The document -- obtained by TMZ -- lists the following:

-- sex outside the marriage
-- oral sex outside the marriage
-- kissing or making out
-- sexting
-- aggressive flirting
-- mutual masturbation
-- social media/grindr/dating

And it gets better.  According to the document, if either one has a situation where they're "in close range or contact with someone from our past or someone to be part of the future" ... the other can veto the contact.  Johnny specifically gives an example of a figure skater he dated.

The document also requires joint STD tests every 6 months with the results being read with both in the room.

And there's a section about splitting assets if they ultimately get divorced:  "Should a gift be given, i.e., the Cartier Roadster (R.I.P.), the gift belongs to you."  Someone broke the watch!

And finally ... there's a section titled "Ultimatums."   Johnny lists examples of Victor's ultimatums, including, "If I give you one more day to get your bank records to me, then I want to have a free f*** of anyone I want."

Simply fabulous.

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215 COMMENTS

No Avatar
76.

Toilethead    

Vomit.

168 days ago
77.

rwgun    

I firmly believe that a relationship is the agreement between the two or more people in it an no one else should think they have any say in the matter.

That said, I couldn't stand a relationship with someone who is so high-maintenance and needy. Never could handle a diva for long.

168 days ago
78.

Inkin    

Weir loves to wear and flaunt real fur. That disgusts me far more than his any love life stuff.

168 days ago
79.

GetOverYourself    

TMI. This story makes me long for those closet days, when these freaks knew their place and we didn't have to read about such perverse acts.

168 days ago
80.

August    

What an extremely sick marriage; REALLY, no oral sex with strangers ?

168 days ago
81.

skittlesbreaker19    

Sounds like everything will work out!!

168 days ago
82.

David_Deyo    

Wow. The more I learn about this pair the less I care about either one of them. Hate me if you like, but I can't tell which is worse....the bitchy glam fairy in fur and spangles or the philandering spouse who is looking to define terms under which he can freely sleep around. We fought for the right to marry so this could go on? Some of us would be pretty damn thrilled to have a decent guy who acts like a guy and who doesn't think his life is over if he can't continue screwing anything that sits still for it.

168 days ago
83.

1luv    

Gay or straight, this marriage has major issues. Maybe they should just cut their loses and consciously uncouple (I freakin hate Gwyneth btw).

168 days ago
84.

Bellalove    

Wow... All I can say is wow... Keeps getting better... There is no trust in that relationship.. But I hope they can make it work :)

168 days ago
85.

my 2 cents    

It will take lawyers with super human abilities to divorce these two.

168 days ago
86.

Endgame    

I can never unread what I just read. Why do I always have to read everything I come across.

168 days ago
87.

Rectum?Damn Nearly Killed Him    

Who cares about these homos?? I know this story is near and dear to you Harvey... Well... You know... You like it in the Azz.... Nobody else cares

168 days ago
88.

MightyMatt    

I'm exhausted reading about their bullish*t. Stop forcing me to read it.

168 days ago
89.

B4-I-FU-RU-18?    

What's mutual masturbation ? Sounds foreign , to my Sabra ears.

168 days ago
90.

gayle1976    

Who cares about these two morons??? And WTF with that stupid fur coat??? OMG!!

168 days ago
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