"Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Porsha Williams got hosed in her divorce settlement with Kordell Stewart.
According to legal docs -- obtained by TMZ -- Porsha gets NO alimony, NO house, NO NFL retirement money, NO cash-out, NO health insurance. She even has to pay her own credit card balances.
It's almost like a western movie. She gets the Mercedes she drove in on, and that's about it. She does get to keep the engagement ring and all of her personal crap ... jewelry, clothes and other personal items.
As for Kordell ... he gets two houses, 2 plots of land, a 2013 Mercedes and a 2010 Porsche, and his full retirement benefits. He also gets to keep a 100% interest in his companies.
Pretty crazy -- considering there was a lot of talk on "Real Housewives" that Porsha and Kordell did NOT sign a prenup.
Porsha was fighting like crazy to stay in the house, but Kordell changed the locks on her.
And it gets even worse. She's on the chopping block for the show.
On the bright side ... a pawn shop would probably pay a pretty penny for that ring.
Busted for DUI
In Kiwi Country
3/12/2014 12:25 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Chris Pine was popped for DUI after blowing through a sobriety checkpoint and then allegedly blowing a .08.
Pine had been partying at a bar in New Zealand with some fellow actors and his girlfriend, beauty queen Iris Bjork Johannesdottir.
Law enforcement tells TMZ ... he caught their eye after driving through the checkpoint. Officers then made him stop and Chris reportedly blew a .08 ... the minimum for being legally drunk.
The incident occurred on March 1st. He must appear in court on Monday, and if he doesn't the judge will issue an arrest warrant.
Chris was his usual charming self ... very polite and "easy to deal with."
As for what he was doing in the bar ... beer. Maybe it was a game --- say the name of your GF 3 times really fast.
'Half Baked' Star
My Ex-Neighbor Mailed Condoms
To My Underage Daughters
3/12/2014 12:20 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
"Half Baked" star Jim Breuer's ex-neighbor is now facing felony stalking charges -- after allegedly mailing a box of condoms to the actor's Jersey house ... in a perverted joke involving Jim's underage daughters.
Sources close to Jim tell TMZ, the actor's been having problems with Giuseppe Ionfrida for a couple years ... but it got particularly twisted back in December.
We're told Ionfrida allegedly left extremely creepy comments on a YouTube video about Jim, such as ... "How's your three pretty daughters doing ;)" Days later, Jim claims Ionfrida shipped him a box of condoms.
We're told Jim called police in early January, and Ionfrida was arrested on felony stalking charges.
We spoke to Ionfrida who told us he denies leaving the YouTube comments about Jim and his daughters. He did say he doesn't like his kids hanging around Jim -- which is an issue since their kids are friends.
We reached out to Breuer ... he had no comment.
Ionfrida has a hearing Wednesday on the stalking charges... and is prohibited from contacting Jim and his family as a condition of bail.
TRADED TO 49ers
'Really Excited' to Reunite with Harbaugh [Update]
3/11/2014 7:30 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Jonathan Martin's nightmare in Miami is finally over ... the alleged bullying victim has been just been traded to the 49ers, his agent has confirmed to TMZ Sports ... and J-Mart couldn't be happier.
We spoke with Martin's agent Kenny Zuckerman ... who tells us, "Jonathan's really excited. He's up at Stanford now. That's where he went to school. The 49ers are in his backyard."
Martin will be reunited with his old college coach Jim Harbaugh -- who's the head coach of the 49ers.
As for Martin's alleged tormentor Richie Incognito, still no word on his future in the NFL.
7:43 PM PT -- TMZ Sports also spoke with 49ers offensive lineman Adam Snyder who tells us he thinks the team is a great fit for Martin.
"It's a great new opportunity for him. He's coming in to a great group of guys, specifically the offensive line."
When asked if Martin will be treated with kid gloves due to the situation in Miami, Snyder shot that down -- saying, "We're gonna treat him like any other free agent that comes into our locker room."
As for his opinion on the trade -- Snyder says, "If he can help us win a Super Bowl, I'm all for it."
8:00 PM PT -- Dolphins GM Dennis Hickey issued a statement saying, “We feel that this move is in the best interests of all parties involved. We wish Jonathan well.”
8:02 PM PT -- Martin tweeted about the trade ... saying, "Opportunities are few in the NFL... Can't wait to get to work #9erEmpire."
Howard Stern Wack Packer
Screams 'Penis' On Live TV
Gets a Ticket
3/11/2014 1:51 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
A well-known Howard Stern superfan got into big trouble with police Monday in NYC -- after "Booey bombing" a live newscast in Union Square ... and the footage is pretty hilarious.
Kemberly Richardson was doing a live shot for WABC when the fan -- who goes by the name Joey Boots -- jumped behind her, screaming, "Baba Booey! Baba Booey! Howard Stern's penis!"
Producers immediately cut away -- but the action didn't end ... Joey recorded the reactions of Kemberly and her cameraman afterward. The cameraman goes OFF.
Joey says he was later ticketed by cops for disorderly conduct.
The cost of doing business.
My Broken Family Can't Be Fixed
3/11/2014 1:46 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
"Modern Family" star Ariel Winter says she will never have a relationship again with her mom and her older brother ... this according to one of her text messages.
The text -- obtained by TMZ -- was filed in Ariel's guardianship case. She was texting her older brother Jimmy who has sided with their mother in the battle over Ariel.
Ariel, who is now under the guardianship of her sister, wrote, "How dare you say you miss me ... if you really wanted to see anyone and cared, you'd do a 180."
And then she goes in for the kill: "I'm sorry, what we've been through can't be fixed."
Ariel's mom filed the document, trying to prove Ariel suffers from PAS -- Parental Alienation Syndrome -- and their family is being destroyed as a result of the guardianship.
Crashes Car in Bev Hills
3/11/2014 9:47 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian was a big hit in Beverly Hills today ... she got into a car crash near the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Kim was tooling around in her Mercedes G Wagon on Sunset Blvd. We're told she was turning left at an intersection and the other driver was going in the opposite direction with his right turn signal on. An eyewitness tells TMZ ... the driver did not make the turn, continued going straight and they collided.
Both cars were damaged, but it was not a huge deal. No one was ticketed.
And how's this for Hollywood ... both Kim and the other driver drove their whips to the Beverly Hills Hotel, exchanged info and then hugged goodbye.
Frank Ocean to Chipotle
Here's $212,500 ...
Now Kindly 'F*** OFF'
3/11/2014 9:10 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Hot sauce isn't the only thing that burns at Chipotle -- Frank Ocean just posted a photo of the fat check he sent to the Mexican Grill after the company sued him for $212,500 ... and on the memo, he wrote "F*** OFF."
Frank posted the image on his Tumblr account -- and a rep for Chipotle has already released a response, telling TMZ, "Thanks, Frank."
We broke the story -- Chipotle sued Ocean, claiming it paid him the $212,500 as an advance to record a song for one of its commercials. Chipotle claims Ocean bailed on the project because the Mexican Grill insisted on using its logo in its own ad ... even though Frank didn't want it ... the audacity.
The Chipotle rep tells us, they haven't received the check yet -- but they're grateful he ponied up.
Sour cream never tasted so sour.
'Love & Hip Hop'
Show Idea Was STOLEN
3/11/2014 8:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The cat fights are now spilling into court -- a pair of female producers are suing the people behind "Love & Hip Hop" ... claiming the reality show was their idea first ... and VH1 stole it.
Trisha Lum and Nickie Lum-Davis filed the suit against VH1 and MTV -- claiming they pitched the idea back in 2009 ... and thought they had a deal to make their show, called "Hip Hop Wives."
According to the lawsuit ... the show was supposed to star current and former flames of DMX, Swizz Beatz, Irv Gotti and Jim Jones ... but VH1 honchos cooled on the idea ... saying they didn't want a show that would compete with its other reality series, "Basketball Wives."
The Lums are calling BS ... saying VH1 moguls used "Hip Hop Wives" as the template for "Love and Hip Hop" ... down to the last detail.
Trisha and Nickie want justice ... in the form of money. Their lawyer tells us they're gunning for an 8-figure judgment.
VH1 had no comment.
Strip Club of Choice
Sues to Ass-Slap Impostor
3/11/2014 8:28 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The Atlanta strip club made famous by Jay Z, Outkast, and Ludacris wants a pound of flesh from a Chicago club that has jacked the name.
ATL's famed Magic City strip club just filed a lawsuit claiming a namesake club in Chicago has insinuated the two joints are connected ... but they're not.
The Atlanta club owners are indignant because they've created a huge cache in the rap community, where stars like Gucci Mane, Bow Wow, Young Jeezy and Ying Yang Twins have referenced Magic City in their songs.
The original MC wants to shut down the knockoff, claiming it cheapens the brand and confuses consumers.
Thing is ... any consumer who thinks they're in Atlanta but are actually in Chicago ... well, they're probably so wasted it doesn't make a difference.
2 + LiLo = 3 Broke Girls
3/11/2014 6:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Lindsay Lohan is determined to tell the world -- she's still wanted.
Lindsay was out on the Sunset Strip Monday ... pretending to shield herself with a "2 Broke Girls" script.
Lindsay was leaving her favorite haunt -- the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood.
Hey ... it's definitely a step up from "The Canyons."
NFL Pulls Plug On Jersey Sales
[Update: It's Back]
3/11/2014 5:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The NFL has finally 86'd the sale of Darren Sharper's jerseys from the official league website ... nearly one month after the former Saints star was charged with raping two women in L.A.
Sharper's jersey had been available on NFLshop.com up until last week ... but now, all traces of the former Pro Bowl safety/Super Bowl champ have been scrubbed from the site.
The move comes 10 days after the NFL Network fired Sharper from his gig as an analyst.
Sharper is currently holed up in an L.A. jail cell ... while the New Orleans D.A. decides whether to charge the football star with rape in that city as well. A decision is expected to be made by the end of the week.
We reached out to the NFL for comment about the stop in jersey sales -- so far, no word back.
8:08 AM PT -- After our story went up, the jerseys reappeared on the site. Here's a screen shot of the site earlier in the day.
Rakes in Millions in Pot Taxes
In One Month!
3/10/2014 3:10 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Marijuana could save the United States of America -- or at the very least Colorado -- because the State is $2 MILLION richer from its new marijuana tax -- and that's just for the month of January.
It's pretty staggering ... in the first month since the pot law became effective, more than $14 million worth of recreational weed was sold in the state. Taxes on gross sales reached $2.01 million.
Colorado has around 160 state-licensed pot stores and it's clear ... business is booming.