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Tom Arnold

I Roasted Roseanne

... To End the Beef

8/6/2012 2:45 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE
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After years of HATING EACH OTHER'S GUTS -- Tom Arnold says he made a last minute appearance at Comedy Central's roast of Roseanne last weekend ... to bury the hatchet once and for all. 

TMZ broke the story ... A few weeks ago Tom was adamant he wanted nothing to do with the CC bash ... not surprising since he and Rosey had a notoriously nasty split back in 1994.

But a producer for the show tells TMZ ... Tom initially turned down his invitation to participate in the "Roast" ... but had a change of heart at the very last second  and contacted producers to let them know he changed his mind. 

We're told producers were on board, but had to get the green light from Roseanne first ... and in another shocking turn of events, she said yes.  

The best part ... we're told after Tom roasted her, the pair shared a private moment backstage for the FIRST TIME IN 17 YEARS.

In case you're curious, here's one of Tom's "jokes" that helped settle their long-time beef:

 "She may not be the perfect wife, but she is literally the worst f-ing EX-WIFE on the planet ... trust me."

Oh Tom.

Jeff Ross 'Batman' Massacre Joke

CUT from 'Roast'

8/6/2012 9:36 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
breaking news
0806_jeffrey_ross_01Comedy Central is censoring Jeff Ross ... refusing to air the jokes he made about the "Dark Knight Rises" massacre during this weekend's taping of the "Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne."

Ross -- who came to the event dressed like Joe Paterno, accompanied by two young topless boys -- has been under fire for cracking the following zinger, directed at Seth Green:

“Seth, congratulations. This is actually a great night for you ... you haven’t gotten this much attention since you shot all those people in Aurora. ... I’m kidding. You are not like James Holmes. At least he did something in a movie theater that people remember!”

After the taping, one of the producers announced that the joke would be cut from the August 12 broadcast.

Ross later admitted he crossed the line -- but told NBC News, "That is what Roasts are about."

Jeffrey Ross Does Not Know

Meaning of the Words TOO SOON

8/5/2012 5:27 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
0804_jeff_ross_gettyComedian Jeffrey Ross made quite an entrance to the Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne Barr last night ... dressing up as legendary Penn State football coach Joe Paterno and walking the red carpet with two very young looking males wearing nothing but towels.

It's a safe bet there was at least one "two-hand touch" joke made.

Tom Arnold

I Want NOTHING To Do

With Roseanne Roast

6/26/2012 4:30 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE
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Don't count on hearing any awkward jokes about having sex with Roseanne Barr -- because her famous ex-husband Tom Arnold wants nothing whatsoever to do with her upcoming Comedy Central roast.

A rep for Tom tells TMZ, the actor will NOT be reaching out to Comedy Central to participate and will say no if the network reaches out to him.

The rep adds, "He has absolutely no interest in being apart of it." The rep explained the couple simply doesn't talk anymore, and that's not gonna change any time soon.

Tom and Roseanne were married from 1990-1994 -- and their split was notoriously nasty, culminating in a screaming match outside the "Roseanne" set in 1994.

Years later, in a 2010 interview, Tom said Roseanne saved his life. So who knows.

Mike Tyson

Set to Beat Up Charlie Sheen

On Comedy Central Roast

8/29/2011 8:25 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
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Cocaine ... hangovers ... and mug shots  -- Mike Tyson and Charlie Sheen are a match made in Comedy Central Roast heaven ... and TMZ has learned Iron Mike is officially on board to skewer the Warlock next month.

Sources heavily involved with the Roast tell us ... Mike will be on the dais on September 10 ... along with Steve-O from "Jackass" ... comic Anthony Jeselnik and Roast legend Jeff Ross.

Bombs away.

Lisa Lampanelli:

Sorry Charlie, I'm BUSY

7/6/2011 6:28 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Charlie Sheen could get off REALLY easy at the upcoming Comedy Central "Roast" ... because TMZ has learned Lisa Lampanelli -- the QUEEN OF MEAN -- is booked that night and might not show!!!

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Lisa tells us, "I am personally thrilled to death that they chose Charlie and I'm glad he's desperate enough to have accepted the challenge. I mean, come on -- the guy was replaced by Ashton Kutcher. I guess he now knows how Bruce Willis felt!"

But she adds, "Sadly, I'm actually booked to do a show that night already, but if there's any way I can get out of it, all I can say is, "Charlie, here I come!'"

The show is scheduled to tape September 10 in L.A.

Lisa ... make it happen.

Charlie Sheen

I'm Going to Be ROASTED!!!!!!

7/5/2011 7:56 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
It's official ... Charlie Sheen will be the next "roastee" at the next Comedy Central Roast in September.

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Sheen released a statement saying, "You could say I've been providing kindling for this Roast for a while ... It's time to light it up.& It's going to be epic."

The Roast will be taped in Los Angeles on September 10 ... and it will air on Comedy Central on September 19 -- which is, not coincidentally, the same night the revamped "Two and a Half Men" is set to premiere.

A rep for Comedy Central says, "Charlie has assured us that nothing will be off limits in this Roast which scares even us."

Story developing ...

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'Reno 911' Star Picks Fight with Breckin Meyer

9/16/2010 8:50 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Thomas Lennon from "Reno 911" was just trying to give our camera guy a little impromptu hernia inspection yesterday ... when suddenly, Breckin Meyer appeared -- and it was time to throw down!!!

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You gotta watch the video ... it's pretty damn funny.

TMZ Live:

Hilton, DiCaprio, and the Jackson Kids

8/27/2010 12:43 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
We took your questions on everything -- including Paris Hilton's BF pulling a gun on an alleged intruder, Leonardo DiCaprio's "delusional" stalker, and Michael Jackson's kids going to a private school.

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Plus: Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva cases.

Jackie The Joke Man: Howard Won't Quit Radio

4/26/2010 1:00 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Howard Stern's former right hand man -- Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling -- doesn't think the King of All Media will ever leave his radio show ... as long as Howard can breathe.


During a burger run in L.A. last night, Martling told us that Howard loves radio so much, he'll be doing it "until the day that he dies."

Interesting, considering Howard's contract with Sirius is up at the end of the year -- and Stern hasn't said whether he'll come back or not.

David Carradine Death Jokes -- Too Soon?

8/10/2009 9:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
It was bound to get downright inappropriate during the roast of Joan Rivers -- but was anybody really expecting not one, but two cracks at the late David Carradine's expense? Warning: Language NSFW.

Greg Giraldo: Click to watch
Both Greg Giraldo and Joan herself made the jokes -- but they leave us with just one question ...

Lampanelli -- Joan Rivers Roast Wasn't Worth It

7/27/2009 10:47 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
There's a reason insult master Lisa Lampanelli didn't show up to the Comedy Central roast of Joan Rivers this weekend -- if she couldn't be in charge, it wasn't worth her precious time.

A week after Kathy Griffin was announced as the roastmaster for the event in Los Angeles, Lampanelli -- who's usually the headliner at these things -- dropped the following message on her Twitter page:

"No Joan Rivers roast for me this year. Not worth doing if I ain't roastmaster -- besides summer is for fun, not work."

Burn.

The Most

Tasteless, Hilarious

Joke Ever

3/7/2009 4:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
It's wrong in every possible way, shape and form, but when Lisa Lampanelli decided it was time to exploit Rihanna's horrible, tragic situation at the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Cable Guy -- people couldn't help but crack up.



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