Posted May 13th 2008 11:47AM by TMZ Staff
America's sweetest waste of space clung to her chubby boyfriend while exiting Villa the other night, showing off her lush new Golden Retriever weave. Arf!

She better get a flea dip for that thing - summer's coming up. We're just sayin'...
Filed under: Paris Hilton, Critters
Posted May 7th 2008 10:10AM by TMZ Staff
Pop singer-turned-edgy rocker Ryan Cabrera, better known as that guy that used to date Ashlee Simpson, is set to debut his white meat at the Chickenfest in Darboy, Wisc. Is Joe Simpson behind this?
No, the Chickenfest is not code for anything, it's really a festival celebrating the chicken. Cabrera is the highlight of the poultry party that also includes chicken wing eating contests and hourly "chicken dance" competitions.
Coachella what?
Filed under: Wacky and Weird, Critters
Posted May 5th 2008 2:35PM by TMZ Staff
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag took their D-list brand of horses**t to the Kentucky Derby on Saturday -- and in a truly candid moment, Heidi looked through the wrong end of the binoculars. You can't make this stuff up!

Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Style Insider, The Hills, Critters
Posted May 1st 2008 12:55PM by TMZ Staff
Taking a break from whatever it is she does, Kim Kardashian -- and her gorgeous sister Khloe -- played with some animals of the non-Hollywood club-going kind on Wednesday at an Australian zoo.

No word if anyone petted Kim's favorite pet -- her wild ass.
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Beauty, Hot Bodies, Critters, Kim Kardashian
Posted Apr 30th 2008 9:33AM by TMZ Staff
Tokyo's most famous zoo critter, Ling Ling, has taken the panda express to that great bamboo plant in the sky.
Officials say Japan's only giant panda died of old age in his cage yesterday. At 22, Ling Ling was the equivalent of a 70-year-old human.
Filed under: R.I.P., Critters
Posted Apr 24th 2008 1:25PM by TMZ Staff
No, that's not Steven Cojocaru, Carly Simon or Alexis Arquette. It's 60-year-old Aerosmith front thing Steven Tyler.
Steven terrorized photogs and shoppers by flashing his breast outside Fred Segal in Los Angeles on Wednesday.
There's a lot more than a wardrobe malfunctioning here.
Filed under: Paparazzi Photo, Wacky and Weird, Hot Bodies, Critters, Nurse!
Posted Apr 22nd 2008 12:15PM by TMZ Staff
Natalie Portman found the weather forecast in NYC to be partly cloudy with a chance of golden showers!

While walking through a Manhattan park on Sunday, the gorgeous 26-year-old stopped to pet a cute dog -- who quickly made her a public toilet. Natalie Port-a-potty.
Natalie's reaction is a pissa!
Filed under: Wacky and Weird, Critters, Nurse!
Posted Apr 17th 2008 10:50AM by TMZ Staff
According to Ving Rhames, it was sickle cell anemia that killed his caretaker back in August -- so stop blaming his oversized pups!
The gnaw-happy pooches in question, three Mastiffs and an English Bulldog, are now back at home with Ving.
Filed under: Critters
Posted Apr 17th 2008 10:35AM by TMZ Staff
Martha Stewart can make a beautiful occasion out of any dinner party, wedding, even a stock trade gone bad -- but the carcass of your dead dog?!

The ex-con media mogul's nearly 13-year-old dog, Paw Paw, died of renal failure on Saturday and she's posted a creepy pic on her blog of the expired pup -- entombed in a sheet with an adorable little bow wrapped around him. Death is pretty!
Just imagine what Martha could do with your Aunt Sally's cremated remains?!
Filed under: Wacky and Weird, R.I.P., Critters
Posted Apr 10th 2008 10:37AM by TMZ Staff
TMZ got too close to Jackie's pooch pal, and she was not having it.
Down girl!
Filed under: Wacky and Weird, Critters
Posted Apr 9th 2008 8:00AM by TMZ Staff
Unlike the Lindbergh baby, Patty Hearst or Katie Holmes' soul, would anyone really be upset if pathetic homophobic racist oil heir Brandon Davis was pignapped?!
If only we could find out.
Filed under: Train Wrecks, Wacky and Weird, Critters
Posted Apr 3rd 2008 12:44PM by TMZ Staff
DogGate '08 drama rages on!
Miley's mom Tish -- who looks younger than Miley -- pours her heart out to sympathetic paps over how we called BS on their runaway bitch. The truth is out there - paging the Scooby gang!
Filed under: Critters
Posted Apr 3rd 2008 11:30AM by TMZ Staff
For the love of Star Jones! Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis has mysteriously shed a ton of his trademark blubber. How'd he do that?!

After a winter of hibernation, The Bear was spotted in Beverly Hills on Wednesday looking like half the man he used to be -- literally. We'll have whatever he's (legally) havin'.
Hopefully, he'll keep it up and disappear for good!
Filed under: Wacky and Weird, Hot Bodies, Natural Disasters, Critters, Nurse!
Posted Mar 31st 2008 5:25PM by TMZ Staff
From the start, something seemed waaaay too fishy about Miley Cyrus' whole "lost dog" routine. The unnecessarily extravagant signage, the complete lack of real concern, the ridiculous funeral defense? Seem like a shameless attempt at publicity to you?!
Sorry, Miley. Not buyin' it. If you've got a lost dog on your hands, you get your a$$ out there and you find that damn thing! You don't doctor up a bunch of decorative art student projects and hope it finds its way back. You said it yourself, the dog has one-inch legs, how far could it have gone?
But the kicker? Who jettisons a dog you just found in the street to go to the Ivy? Really?
Filed under: Wacky and Weird, Critters, Miley Cyrus
Posted Mar 28th 2008 11:22AM by TMZ Staff
Romeo Beckham goes digging for gold, but the adorable tyke should know he doesn't have to dig that far. His parents are loaded.

The extended Beckham brood came out to watch Becks play in his 100th game for England.
We now know the kid's at least partially human - his mom's a roboho after all.
Filed under: Critters
