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Swaggy Wolfdog Humans F***ed Up My Rolls!!!

9/10/2018 12:40 AM PDT

Swaggy Wolfdog blessed his owner with a brand new Rolls-Royce … but the pup should’ve been behind the wheel, ‘cause boneheaded humans already messed up his rims!!!

We got the husky and his owner, Swagr Man, showing off the $400,000 ride … and it’s all fun and games until the crew tries to drive off … that’s when the luxury car hits a parking space divider and dings the chromed out rims.

Lucky for Swaggy, he was in the back seat unharmed.

But, after watching his 2-legged friends struggle to leave an empty lot, we can’t help but wonder if they’re better off with Swaggy in the driver’s seat.

Nikki Glaser Blake Griffin Could Be a Pro Comic ... I'm Serious!

9/9/2018 12:15 AM PDT

If hoops don't work out for Blake Griffin ... he's got the official stamp of approval from comedian Nikki Glaser to move to the stand-up mic -- 'cause she's telling TMZ Sports Blake is LEGIT funny.

"Oh, he could totally be a comedian if he wanted to be," she says. "I wouldn't say that about anyone."

Remember ... Blake went head-to-head in a roast battle with Jeff Ross earlier this summer -- and killed it ... telling Jeff at one point, "You're such a bald piece of sh*t. It honestly looks like we both got f**ked over by the Clippers."

Nikki just so happened to be a judge for that battle ... and when we got her outside Hollywood Improv earlier this week -- she says she was straight-up mad that B.G. was so good.

"You see someone that handsome and just that talented in his own profession and it's like, 'Stay in your lane!'" Nikki tells us.

"And, you want him to be bad at comedy. You want someone that's killing it in their own life, tall and has everything -- you want them to be not funny, and then he was really funny. Like, really funny."

FYI ... Nikki gave the winning nod to Ross in the battle -- and now it looks like we know why.

Shepard Smith Openly Mocks Trump ... Not Amomymously!!

9/7/2018 2:33 PM PDT

Shepard Smith is having a little fun at President Trump's expense -- mocking his inability to say the word "anonymous."

The FOX News host took the subtle dig Friday during his show, purposefully stumbling over the word that gave Trump so much trouble during his Montana rally. The funniest part might be Shepard's deadpan deliver.

Somehow he kept a straight face while butchering the word "amomamous" in reference to The New York Times op-ed author who claims Trump staffers are actively working to undermine 45.  

Warning: Avoid playing cards with Shepard. Killer poker face. 

Even 45 would have to laugh at this. Or, more likely, somehow blame Obama.

Elon Musk 420 Friendly Stockholders Worry

9/7/2018 10:27 AM PDT

10:20 AM PT  -- Tesla's stock plummeted as much as 10 percent and was down 6.9 percent at the time of this update, on the heels of Elon's smoke sesh and news that 2 senior execs are leaving the company. The signs were always there, but now we know for sure Elon Musk likes to smoke ganja. 

Elon got high as the clouds with Joe Rogan, blazing it up on camera Thursday as they talked about Tesla's plans for an airplane. 

Joe sparks up a blunt -- marijuana rolled in tobacco -- and Elon takes a monster rip.

Pass the Dutchie!!!

There were always hints Elon was a fan of Mary J, and now we have our proof! 

Dude launches rockets into space, sent a car to Mars blasting David Bowie's "Space Oddity" and thought about taking Tesla private at $420. 

Nothing wrong with a little herbal medication, right?!?!

Originally published -- 6:58 AM PT

Burt Reynolds Helped Lee Corso Bang Chicks At FSU

9/6/2018 3:13 PM PDT

Did you know ... ESPN's Lee Corso was Burt Reynolds' college roommate back in the day? 

It's true -- the two lived together at Florida State when Burt was a member of the Seminoles football team. And, according to Lee, Burt would often help him out with the ladies! 

Lee used to tell the story when talking to college athletes back in the day -- and recounted it at a football event back in 2007. 

"We would send him out for bait," Corso said ... "He would go to the student union and bring two girls back. One was gorgeous and the other one was ugly."

"He always took the beautiful girl ... and gave me the ugly one."

"But, you know what I found out early? Burt Reynolds' ugly girlfriends were better than anything I could get on my own."


U.S. Open Chicken Tender Fan I Know It's Gross, But Cola-Flavored Dipping Sauce??

9/4/2018 5:46 PM PDT

The U.S. Open tennis fan who disgusted viewers by dunking chicken tenders in soda says her quirky, acquired taste will become socially acceptable ... if someone would just invent a new condiment!!

Alexa Greenfield tells TMZ ... she's been dunking her tenders in ice cold Coca-Cola since she was young and her dad told her it was a way to cool the food down (so really, this is all his fault).

She says she knew it was strange, so she gave up the habit for years when she became an adult. That is, until she said screw it ... the heart stomach wants what it wants!

Alexa's fully aware most people find her cola dunking disgusting, but adds the right dipping sauce would make people realize Coca-Cola flavoring is "really actually good."

As for her notorious TV moment, Alexa tells us she was with her nephews, and told them to keep her dipping routine a secret, but the U.S. Open cameras blew up her spot.

She's a great sport about it, though. Almost makes us want to try some Coke-soaked chicken. Almost.

Jonas Bros Face Suckin', Beer Chuggin' ... At U.S. Open

9/4/2018 8:38 AM PDT

Forget Roger Federer ... the real show at the U.S. Open was in the stands -- where Joe Jonas was slammin' beers and making out with his smokin' hot fiancee, Sophie Turner


Joe and Sophie were on a double date at Arthur Ashe stadium in NYC with his bro Kevin Jonas and his wife Danielle -- when they decided to screw with the photogs by putting on a show in their VIP box. 

There was some fake tongue action -- and very REAL beer drinking ... including a moment where the Jo-Bros linked arms, chugged and then busted out the FLOSS dance!

Earlier in the weekend, Sophie stuffed a seat pad under her shirt to goose some reporters into going with a pregnancy story. It didn't work, as most pregnant women don't have square baby bumps. 

Good times ... 

Hands down amazing #hubby #brotherinlaw #memories

A post shared by 💋Danielle💋 (@daniellejonas) on

Dave Chappelle I Paid My Respects to John McCain ... And His Dance Moves

9/1/2018 12:40 AM PDT

Dave Chappelle says John McCain is a symbol of national unity when our country needs it most, so he paid the late Senator his respects ... and gives props to his robot dance.

We got the famed comedian on Capitol Hill Friday after he visited McCain's casket at the U.S. Capitol. Chappelle tells us he was inspired to do so after he saw a video Jamie Foxx shared on his IG this week dancing with the Navy veteran onstage at an Apollo Theater charity event.

Foxx captioned the vid, "This is another reason why senator John McCain is so loved... he made u feel like politics and being a cool human being lived separately... he shined on em that night ... and that robot move was mean! R.I.P. you are a HERO!"

Seems like Chappelle totally agrees.

Dave tells us he wished he could have made it to Aretha Franklin's funeral in Detroit too ... but couldn't make both happen in the same day.

Louis C.K. First Photos from Comeback Gig ... Hit the 'Burbs Before NYC

8/31/2018 1:00 AM PDT

Before Louis C.K. shocked an NYC audience with his return to stand-up, he warmed up off the beaten path by crashing a Long Island comedy club where he got a standing O ... and TMZ got photos from the gig.

The disgraced comedian hit the stage last Sunday at Governor’s of Levittown out on Long Island. Club owner James Dolce tells us Louis did about 10 to 15 minutes of material ... but no one, including Dolce, had any clue C.K. was dropping in for the set.

In the photos from the Governor's gig, you can see Louis whipped a notepad out of his pocket ... clearly refreshing himself on the new material he was trying out that night.

This set came just a few hours before Louis drove into NYC to surprise the crowd at the famed Comedy Cellar in Greenwich Village. While there's been much debate about whether it's too soon for him to return after admitting to sexual misconduct last November -- Dolce says it was clear how the audience felt at his club. 

They loved it. Some fans even waited for photos after the show, but Louis had bolted for the Big Apple.

Dolce says he feels like Louis has paid his price, and deserves a 2nd chance ... adding he's welcome back at any of his clubs. Some comedians agree with that sentiment ... while others simply do not

MLK's Niece Alveda King My Uncle Might've Liked Cardi's Spoof ... Aunt Coretta Would NOT

8/31/2018 12:30 AM PDT

Martin Luther King Jr.'s niece says her uncle might've actually gotten a kick out of Cardi B's 'Housewives of the Civil Rights Movement' skit, but the real-life iconic women wouldn't be laughing.

We talked to Alveda King -- whose father was Dr. King's brother -- and while she realizes the bit was all in good fun, she says it's important people know that's all it is. Alveda says Coretta Scott King and the other Civil Rights 'housewives' didn't talk like that, and never would.

Alveda seems to be fine with people laughing, as long as they don't take it seriously in a historical context. She adds, it'd be a "disgrace" if young people watching think these brave women acted this way behind closed doors.

Like we told you ... Bernice King called Cardi's take on her mother "repulsive," but then later said Cardi had reached out and apologized. Bernice's older bro, Martin Luther King III, also expressed his hatred for Cardi's portrayal and the fact it came out on the 55th anniversary of his father's "I Have a Dream" speech. 

Peyton Manning Almost Quit 'SNL' Sketch Didn't Wanna Hurt Kids!

8/30/2018 8:44 AM PDT
Breaking News

Peyton Manning says he really DIDN'T want to fire footballs at kids' faces during his famous 2007 "Saturday Night Live" skit -- but changed his mind when a parent begged him to peg his kid. 

The sketch is pretty famous -- Peyton was spoofing his United Way ads by teaching kids how to get tattoos, steal cars and play real, hardcore park football. 

But, a key part of the skit featured Peyton nailing kids in the face with footballs -- HARD -- and the QB says he was so nervous about tagging the youngsters, he almost quit the bit. 

Peyton told the story at the 2018 Indianapolis Colts kickoff lunch on Wednesday -- saying he didn't feel comfortable with the scene at the time and told producers he wanted to shut it down. 

But, right before they called it off, one of the parents of the child actors approached Peyton and the director and said, "I want him to hit my kid in the face!"

So, Peyton -- being a people pleaser -- said, "I will do it. I will knock your kid out."

And the rest is history ... hilarious, hilarious history. 

Louis C.K. Kills with Rape Whistle Joke During Comeback Gig

8/29/2018 2:00 PM PDT
Breaking News

Louis C.K. did NOT tread lightly in his first stand-up gig since admitting his sexual misconduct, because he reportedly cracked a joke about rape whistles.

Remember, C.K. copped to dropping his pants and masturbating in front of women ... and even coercing them into keeping silent about it. So, at least 2 female audience members at the Comedy Cellar in NYC were shocked to hear him start a bit about the phrase "clean as a whistle."

The women told Vulture C.K. worked up to a joke about rape whistles NOT being clean, and they say it was very well received -- "people were laughing, and I was just sitting there like, oh my f**k."

They were uncomfortable and depressed that C.K.'s joke had killed ... especially considering the things he's admitted doing

Marlon Wayans told us he doesn't have any issue with Louis returning to stand-up ... although not everyone in the comedy world agrees.

Louis C.K. More Comedy Clubs Give Green Light ... For His Second Chance

8/29/2018 11:04 AM PDT

Louis C.K.'s surprise return to stand-up -- to the delight of some and dismay of others -- has full support from some very important people in the comedy world ... the guys running the clubs.

TMZ's learned several comedy hot spots in NYC would gladly welcome Louis back, despite his fall from grace last year after he copped to sexual misconduct.

Louis Faranda, talent exec of Carolines on Broadway, tells us ... the comedian is like a son to him -- they personally go back to the beginning of C.K.'s career -- and he's a longtime friend of the club.

Faranda adds ... "We all make bad mistakes in life and everyone deserves the right to be forgiven ... I totally understand the plight of the women he offended, [but] I also love Louie C.K. and CANNOT turn my back to him ever!!"

Likewise -- Al Martin, owner of Broadway Comedy Club and Greenwich Village Comedy Club, says ... "Everyone is entitled to a second chance. I would book Louis." C.K. has performed at his clubs in the past.

Bill Boggs, officer of the Friars Club, tells us it would also have Louis back. Boggs says, "We were repulsed by his actions and there’s no question about that," but he gives C.K. the benefit of the doubt that he's learned from his mistakes. "We can't punish people for the rest of their lives; we can't assume they haven't learned. People can grow and change."

These clubs are not alone. We broke the story ... fellow comedians like Marlon Wayans are glad Louis is back onstage, with Marlon telling us he feels C.K. did his time in "comedy jail."

Other comedians, though -- like Melinda Hill -- feel C.K. needs to fully apologize and make amends for his wrongdoing before he returns to the mic. Melinda says Louis is "spearheading the #MeTooSoon movement."

C.K. showed up unannounced at the Comedy Cellar in Manhattan Sunday night and did a surprise set ... after going MIA for about 9 months following a public admission of using his power to masturbate in front of women without their consent.

Clearly, many fans of Louis are down with his return ... but many others aren't ready for the redemption tour.

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