Cracky Mayor Rob Ford -- the Tyrone Biggums of politics -- says he's well aware he was mocked on "Saturday Night Live" this weekend ... but he didn't seem too upset about it.
Ford was in Toronto on his way to watch a Canadian Football league playoff game -- when he stopped to sign autographs like a rockstar.
During the quick signing session, Ford was asked about the "SNL" skit -- in which Bobby Moynihan spoofs the mayor as a fat, cracked out idiot.
"It was crazy," Ford said of the sketch.
Ford then proceeded to the football game ... despite a suggestion from the CFL commissioner that Rob stay the hell away.
Ford plays by his own rules ... especially when those rules involve crack.
White House Chef
Obama's Go-To Meal ...
A Good Burger
11/14/2013 9:56 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
When the leader of the free world is jonesing for comfort food ... he ignores his wife's advice and reaches for a juicy hunk of grilled cow flesh ... so says the man who knows.
White House chef Sam Kass spilled this state secret to our TMZ photog. Fact is ... it doesn't necessarily square with Michelle Obama's campaign for healthy eating.
But Michelle has clearly had an influence on her food guru. Watch the video.
When the Pot Called the Kettle Stupid
11/11/2013 3:00 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Levi Johnston is a 'DEADBEAT DAD!'
11/11/2013 10:08 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Sarah Palin has no love for the daddy of her grandson ... because she just barked out to TMZ that Levi Johnston is a 'deadbeat dad.'
As TMZ previously reported, Levi just filed legal docs asking for 50/50 joint custody of 4-year-old Tripp. He says it's in the boy's best interest.
As for whether Levi should get joint custody ... Palin is incredulous.
But here's the rub ... Levi is roughly $66k behind in child support.
Palin's disdain for Levi is palpable. Watch the video ... you'll see.
My Job's As Hard As
Fighting in Afghanistan
11/11/2013 6:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Cruise's lawyer, Bert Fields, says the notion that Tom compares his acting to fighting a war is a distortion, pointing to a section in the deposition -- not part of the deposition that was publicly released -- in which Tom is asked, "Do you believe the situations [being in a movie and fighting a war in Afghanistan] are the same?" Tom replies, "Oh come on." Fields says that clearly means "of course not."
For the record, here's Tom's quote, responding to the opposing lawyer in the deposition:
Lawyer: "Now, your counsel has publicly equated your absence from Suri for these extended periods of time as being analogous to someone fighting in Afghanistan. Are you aware of that?"
Cruise: "I didn't hear the Afghanistan, but that's what it feels like, and certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal."
Tom Cruise not only thinks he trains harder than Olympic athletes, he believes his job as a professional actor is as grueling as fighting the war in Afghanistan -- this according to legal docs obtained by TMZ.
As we reported, Cruise recently sat for a deposition in his $50 million libel suit against a magazine publisher that claimed he abandoned daughter Suri -- and his quotes are GOLD.
First, the Middle East -- Tom says his location shoots are just like serving a tour in Afghanistan, "That's what it feels like. And certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal."
As for his physical training, Tom said, "There is difficult physical stamina and preparation. Sometimes I've spent months, a year, and sometimes two years preparing for a single film." But the kicker, he adds, "A sprinter for the Olympics, they only have to run two races a day. When I'm shooting, I could potentially have to run 30, 40 races a day, day after day."
But it's not all grenades and triathlons ... Tom says he's only flown commercial ONCE in the last 4 years ... and that was because he had no choice.
And there's this ... Tom says the skills he's picked up along the way have provided shortcuts in his relationship with Suri. For example, he says it's not always necessary for him to be physically around Suri, because he can tell her vivid stories on the phone that come to life. Tom says, "I've gotten very good at [talking on the phone]. I've gotten very good at it. I tell wonderful stories and they like hearing it."
Christie Endorsement Was MY Idea
10/30/2013 2:54 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Shaquille O'Neal's still calling the shots -- but now in the political arena -- telling TMZ it was HIS brilliant idea to endorse Republican NJ Gov. Chris Christie.
Shaq -- who's a native of Newark -- was in neighboring NYC last night when we asked about the Governor's newest strategy ... a 30-second campaign commercial featuring the big man (O'Neal not Christie).
Clearly, Shaq's a big fan ... telling us Christie's "a good man" who's done a lot for the Garden State. ... that's why he came up with what could be a game winning play for the Governor.
Gives Wannabe Congressman
POLITICAL PUMP-UP SPEECH
10/30/2013 9:49 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Huddle up ... 49ers legend Ronnie Lott just gave a Congressional hopeful in California an impassioned pump-up speech worthy of "Friday Night Lights" -- and it was all caught on camera.
Lott actually called for a huddle Monday night at the fundraising event for politician Ro Khanna -- who's currently running for a spot in the House of Reps -- unleashing motivational bombs like, "You've won the election ... because we close our eyes and we dream big. We dream greatness ... It's up to you. You gotta carry the torch. You gotta be the next Obama."
Lott was joined by fellow 49ers legends Harris Barton and Roger Craig. It was pretty cool.
All that's missing is the echoey guitar and snare drum. (Goosebumps. Every time.)
Prime Minister of Belize
Our Government's BETTER Than Yours
10/18/2013 6:26 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
READY FOR SOME INTERNATIONAL SMACK TALK??? The Prime Minister of Belize was last night ... telling us what's wrong with our government ... on his way out of an L.A. restaurant.
Dean Barrow was leaving Madeo last night, flanked by personal security, when he was asked if he had any advice for the U.S. government to avoid another shutdown.
His response -- "You have to switch to the parliamentary system."
Boom. Smack talk!
FYI -- Belize operates on a parliamentary system (a form of government with no president, in which the leader of the majority party is the leader of the country).
Now, Belize has its problems, too -- according to the various media reports the country has a Caa1 credit rating -- which essentially translates to "piss poor."
But we hear the snorkeling is spectacular ...
7:47 AM PT -- Turns out, Dean Barrow has a serious celebrity connection ... 'cause his son is the rapper Shyne!
According to reports, Barrow and his son are estranged ... but after Shyne was convicted of attempted murder, assault, and reckless endangerment several years ago, his dad petitioned the governor of NY for a pardon. But the request was denied, and Shyne was deported back to Belize.
DISSIN' HOWARD STERN
'I Don't Know Who You're Talking About'
10/17/2013 7:48 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Rush Limbaugh is not a fan of Howard Stern ... and last night, he issued a subtle diss to his radio rival ... and it was all caught on video.
Rush was leaving Toscana in L.A. when we asked what he thought about Jesse Ventura telling the media he wants to run for President in 2016 with Howard Stern as his running mate.
And what did Rush have to say about it ... "Who? I don't know who you're talking about."
Limbaugh and Stern ain't exactly on friendly terms -- in the past, Stern has referred to Limbaugh as an "idiot," a "loon" and said "he's insane." Stern has also said the guy is "out of touch."
We haven't ever heard Limbaugh fire back ... until now.
Mike Tyson Conspiracy
Killing Our Pigeons
10/16/2013 4:30 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
America's precious pigeon population is in danger -- especially in NYC -- so says famed pigeon lover Mike Tyson, who claims the government has launched an evil campaign to get rid of our gray little friends forever!!!
Tyson was at LAX yesterday when the conversation inevitably turned to his beloved animals -- in the words of Woody Allen, "rats with wings" -- and he explained his conspiracy theory ... that municipalities like NYC have introduced falcons to curb the pigeon population.
He's not far off ... according to a government report from 2007 -- called "Curbing the Pigeon Conundrum" -- NYC officials have used hawks to keep pigeons in check ... but that brief experiment ended in 2003 when one hawk attacked a small dog.
So there you go ... it's pigeon lovers vs. hawk conservationists ... which means, we gotta ask ...
NY Sen. Chuck Schumer
I'll Bet On Congress...
Before I'll Bet On Giants
10/14/2013 3:48 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Even the esteemed Senator from New York Chuck Schumer ... knows the NY Giants suck in the worst way possible ... and tells TMZ the broken U.S. government will probably get its act together before Eli and Company will.
Sen. Schumer was out in D.C. yesterday when he was asked to predict which will happen first -- the END of the government shutdown OR the END of the Giants' pathetic losing streak.
Schumer told us he's a huge fan of the G-Men and it pains him to say it ... but the smart money's on the boys in Washington ... not the guys in New York.
Still, we gotta ask ...
Sarah Palin To Gov't
Stop Using Vets As Political Pawns...
Cuz They're My Pawns
10/14/2013 10:13 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Sarah Palin needs a lesson in irony ... she's slamming government douchebags in DC for using American war heroes as "political pawns" ... while at the same time, using the vets for her own political agenda.
Palin led a big rally in DC yesterday ... protesting the government shutdown that has closed the monuments to visitors ... telling TMZ she thinks the closures are "shameful."
She thinks Congress is using the vets' plight to play on the sympathies of the American public ... which may be true ... but then she showed she's dirty enough to play that game, too.
The former Alaskan governor made a big show of staging her protest at the World War II memorial ... and posing with angry decorated veterans who like her brand of politics.
She also ripped on the Vice Prez. Ya gotta listen ... it's classic Palin.
Joe Scarborough Divorce
He Earns $99,000 A WEEK
10/11/2013 1:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
MSNBC's "Morning Joe" host Joe Scarborough earns $99,038 PER WEEK from his show -- this according to divorce docs obtained by TMZ -- but the crazier part ... his soon-to-be ex-wife will only see a tiny fraction of it.
We broke the story ... the 50-year-old former Florida congressman quietly filed for divorce from his wife of 12 years Susan Waren back in September 2012. They have 2 minor kids (a 10-year-old and a 5-year-old).
But according to the divorce docs, Joe's pretty much making off like a bandit. For starters, the divorce docs state Joe will NOT be paying child support, and what his alimony amounts to is a morsel of his enormous salary.
According to the docs, Joe will fork over $30,000 per month for 5 years, then $25,000 per month for 2 years. Joe also gave her a lump sum of $150k, and he's paying the mortgage on their Connecticut home, and for the kids' schooling.
They share joint legal custody ... and are still living together with the kids.
Couple of interesting clauses in the divorce papers -- Susan "acknowledges" Joe was faithful, devoted, and committed." A sentence perhaps intended to quiet allegations Joe was cheating.
Also, when Joe and Susan are both in the Conn. home there are some house rules: Neither can enter the others bedroom, barring a kid related emergency ... and after 7 PM they're each banned from the others side of the house.
Very "War of the Roses."