Arnold Schwarzenegger SWEARS the money he religiously paid his baby mama for their secret son was not "hush money."

In an interview for "60 Minutes" on CBS that aired tonight, Arnold refused to answer questions regarding how he found out about Joseph -- the secret son he had with his former housekeeper Mildred Baena.

Arnold says he never had a point-blank conversation with Mildred about Joseph, he just "put things together"  and secretly started sending her money. 

Arnold says Mildred -- who was still working for him at the time -- never questioned the cash, saying she "knew what it was about," but insists it wasn't money to keep her quiet.

He then defends her and says,"Mildred is a good person. She was not out to get me or take advantage of me."

So we gotta ask ...

Arnold Schwarzenegger's book comes out Monday, chronicling his pretty remarkable life ... the good, the bad and the maid. So we gotta ask ...

Get this ..."60 Minutes" did its interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger without ever contacting Maria Shriver -- to get her take on the things he said in his autobiography ... and she's not happy about it.

Sources very familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... a "60 Minute" producer made calls Monday to friends of Maria -- AFTER Arnold's interview was shot -- to see if she had a general comment about the book ... but the producer never gave specifics about what Arnold said in the interview or the book.  We're told the piece was already in the can, and Maria had "no interest" in commenting -- especially because it's ridiculous to wedge a comment of hers in a long piece.

One source says, "The piece is a blow *** for Arnold.  Lesley Stahl just fawned over him," adding it was no surprise Maria's point of view was never solicited before Stahl sat down with Arnold.

As we first reported, Arnold never offered an advance copy of the book to Maria.  A close friend of hers tells TMZ, "She knows the book is a big PR stunt to get back in the public's good graces."

As for whether Maria will read the book, we're told she has no burning desire  One of Maria's friends told us, "What Maria has already been through ... nothing surprises her anymore."

Philandering film star Arnold Schwarzenegger has finally admitted to having an affair with actress Brigitte Nielsen -- while still dating Maria Shriver. Well, at least she's hotter than the maid.

Schwarzenegger cops to the sexual tryst in his new book, saying it went down while the duo was filming "Red Sonja" together back in 1985.

At the time of the affair, Arnold was already knee deep into his relationship with Shriver -- and even though they weren't married, the couple was living together.

If you recall ... Nielsen blew the whistle on the affair last year in her own published memoirs. Arnold never confirmed it -- until now.

Nielsen said in her book that she didn't know Arnold was involved with another woman during their fling.

One of the big reasons Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't give Maria Shriver an advance copy of his autobiography is that he intends to keep all of the money he makes from it ... sources connected with the couple tell TMZ.

Even though Arnold and Maria were together 34 years and married for 25 and a good chunk of the book is about their relationship ... we're told Arnold has made it clear to her ... the book is HIS, and she will not be getting any part of his multi-million dollar advance or any royalties.

And there's more on the money front ... We're told Arnold has been extremely tough in negotiating a financial settlement with Maria -- one source says, "Arnold has been really stingy with Maria and the kids, which is amazing considering what he did."

One source groused ... Arnold has treated his divorce as a business deal, and not an end to the relationship he had with the mother of his kids.

And here's the most shocking part ... Sources tell us as recently as last week, Arnold asked Maria to take him back.  We're told ... she's not biting.

Arnold's rep told TMZ ... the divorce settlement negotiations are ongoing so no agreement has been struck.

With Arnold Schwarzenegger's tell-all autobiography about to come out, it seems only fitting that his all growed-up love child Joseph Baena and his baby mama/former maid Mildred Baena would be spotted out in Bakersfield, CA on Thursday.

As we reported earlier, Arnold says his affair with Mildred was the "stupidest thing" he did during his marriage to Maria Shriver and revealed he has not shown her the book yet either.

Fun fact: Schwarzenegger's book comes out on Monday ... the day before Joseph's 15th birthday. 

Wonder what Arnold is getting him for a gift.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is out hawking his autobiography, so he knows something about words ... and the one word he WON'T use to describe his affair with the maid is "BETRAYAL."

In an interview on "60 Minutes" which will air Sunday, Lesley Stahl said to Arnold ...

"She gave up her television career for you.  I mean, wow, was this the most unbelievable act of betrayal to Maria?"

Arnold would not acknowledge Stahl's question.  Instead he deflected by saying, "I think it was the stupidest thing I've done in the whole relationship.  It was terrible I inflicted tremendous pain on Maria and unbelievable pain on the kids."

And it's even worse.  Arnold has not even shown the book to Maria.  When Stahl asked if she knew what Arnold had written, all he would say was, "She knows that it's about my whole life."

Real classy.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says his estranged wife Maria Shriver confronted him about his secret love child during a couple's therapy session and that she'd suspected for years ... according to his new book ... but the good news -- Arnold assured Maria he was still "turned on" by her.

In the book, obtained by the New York Daily News, Arnold says Maria took him to couple's therapy in 2011 -- the day after he left the California governorship. He believed he was there for routine marriage counseling -- instead, Maria asked him point blank if he slept with the maid and spawned a love child years before.

Arnold admits, at first, he made a slew of excuses to his wife -- but then copped to everything: cheating, the secret child and supporting his baby mama financially ... calling it a huge screw up.

Before Arnold fessed up Maria intimated the maid had already told her.

As TMZ reported ... both Arnold and Maria have now moved on and there will be no reconciliation.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has accepted that his marriage is over ... and we know this because he was all over a 25-year-old chick at a party over the weekend.

Arnold was at Bagatelle restaurant in West Hollywood Friday night and lasered in on a 25-ish-year-old brunette. The 64-year-old actor quickly made his move ... with his tongue.

But all good things -- like marriages -- must come to an end, and Arnold and the chick left separately.  On his way out, photogs asked him about Sage Stallone and eventually fired off a question about the chick ... but he wasn't in the mood to kiss and tell.

As for his divorce, we're told it's definitely going to happen.  But here's the twist ... After the story broke that Arnold fathered the maid's kid and Maria Shriver filed for divorce, he begged Maria to take him back, but she threw up roadblocks, demanding that he clean up his act.  On top of that, Maria changed her mind constantly -- one day wanting a divorce and the next wanting to reconcile.

Now we're told Arnold wants the divorce and Maria is the one who's tormented ... because she wants him back, but it's not going to happen.

Sources tell us both Arnold and Maria are now resigned to divorce, which should be official soon.

As for that 25-year-old chick ... we're told she's "kinda pretty, super skinny and hippie-like" -- rated a 7 by eyewitnesses -- which is 6 points higher than the maid.

So now we know why Maria Shriver paid a visit to a psychic yesterday -- she was drawn to the energy stones in the window.

An employee at the supernatural establishment tells us, Maria wanted info on 4 or 5 energy crystals, including amethyst and cactus quartz.

Amethyst is supposedly used for calming, and cactus quartz for communication. Both stones bring positive energy into your life -- ALLEGEDLY.

Maria also jawboned with the psychic in a back room, where the two discussed personal "life stuff."

All told, Maria -- whom the employee described as a "spiritual" person -- was inside the shop for less than 30 minutes ... and left without buying anything.

Om.

Maria Shriver -- a highly educated, former First Lady of California, devout Catholic, and well-connected woman about town -- is searching for answers to life ... in energy crystals. 

We got this pic of Maria leaving a psychic's office yesterday in the very upscale community of Brentwood. We're told she's a customer -- been there before.

Maria has some big decisions -- she's gone back and forth on whether to finalize her divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger, so maybe Dorothy from Clairvoyance -- a spiritual advisor, psychic medium and life coach -- can help her decide.

Dionne Warwick approves this message.