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Amazon's Jeff Bezos Cut the Crap on My Spaceship! No Bathroom Breaks

4/13/2017 1:39 PM PDT

Amazon's CEO Jeff Bezos will someday let you fly into space on his shuttle -- for a price -- and only if your bowels and bladder are running on empty. 

Jeff announced the bathroom ban at the 33rd annual Space Symposium. He was talking about his Blue Origin private spaceflight company, and shockingly said ... there would be no bathroom break requests, or anything to deal with vomiting during the 40-minute flight. 

As he put it, "Go to the bathroom in advance. The whole thing, from boarding until you’re back on the ground, is probably 40 or 41 minutes. So you’re going to be fine."

Pretty ballsy game plan by Bezos. Of course, he won't be on cleanup duty.

United Airlines Another On-board Attack By a Scorpion!!

4/13/2017 8:57 AM PDT

Another attack on a United Airlines flight, and this time it was a scorpion that got its revenge on a passenger.

Richard Bell was on a flight from Houston to Calgary Sunday when a scorpion reportedly fell from an overhead bin and stung him. The flight crew contacted a doctor on the ground for medical advice.

United says his injuries were non-life threatening and medical personnel took care of Bell when he landed in Calgary.

No word on how United plans to make good.

International Church of Cannabis Praising the Most High Starting 4/20 Because ... Duh

4/12/2017 4:44 PM PDT

Weed lovers/worshipers now have a church to call home, and naturally ... it's in Denver, and of course ... it's opening April 20.

Elevation Ministries -- a Colorado-based religious org -- announced the launch of the International Church of Cannabis, which will be a "spiritual home to adults who seek to become the best version of themselves" ... with bud.

Congregation members call themselves Elevationists, and their mission statement sounds right on point: deepening and accelerating one's spiritual journey of self-discovery. Again, with bud.

One more nug ... the chapel is 113 years old and was recently renovated with paintwork from Kenny Scharf -- who's featured at the Guggenheim. So, it's a classy joint, if you will.

2 Chainz is going to be in town that weekend, and we're told the church is hoping he comes to worship. Chances are high, we're thinking.

Let the choir sing ... Puff, puff, pass. Amen. 

Wall Street Statue Creator 'Fearless Girl' Statue Is Messing with My Bull! Wants NYC to Get the Horns

4/12/2017 1:50 PM PDT
Exclusive Details

The guy who created Wall Street's "Charging Bull" says the neighboring "Fearless Girl" statue is screwing with his art, and he's demanding NYC pay him for his trouble.

Sculptor Arturo Di Modica is really pissed about the location of "Fearless Girl" and fired off a pretty threatening letter to Mayor Bill de Blasio. In the letter, obtained by TMZ, he says he was never consulted about the new art piece, despite the fact it's clearly capitalizing on its proximity to the 'Bull.'

He believes she was made out of bronze to make her seem like she's packaged with the 'Bull.' Arturo's not down with that because he says it now seems like his 'Bull' is attacking a child.

Furthermore, Arturo notes the people behind 'FG' know they're taking advantage of his art piece because their original promotion said where she was placed "made her impossible to ignore."

He wants her immediately moved and he wants the city to pay him an undetermined amount in damages. Arturo says he wants to settle this amicably, but we smell lawsuit.

As for Bill de Blasio -- he's making it clear he stands behind "Fearless Girl." And that's no bull.

Tupac Shakur Arrested in L.A. ... No It's NOT a Typo

4/12/2017 12:40 AM PDT
EXCLUSIVE

Tupac Shakur was arrested for felony assault with a deadly weapon just last month in a case that's downright bizarre ... for obvious reasons.

Conspiracy theorists should probably sit down, but yes ... cops booked a 45-year-old man named Tupac Amaru Shakur. It's NOT the rapper, but everything from his middle name to date of birth -- June 16, 1971 -- is dead on, pardon the phrase.

Law enforcement tells us the suspect's real name is Clarence Campbell, but he uses 'Pac as an alias. He's also used the name during multiple previous arrests -- including one for battery -- so cops are hip to the game. Docs show Campbell's real name is attached to his arrest records. 

Tupac ... the name gets around.

Elon Musk Tesla's Employee Lots Are Parking Hell!

4/11/2017 12:58 PM PDT

Elon Musk's Tesla is now America's most valued automaker, but you'd never know it from his employee parking lots ... which look like a total over-packed disaster zone.

The Wall Street Journal posted a report on 2 of the company's parking lots -- one at the Palo Alto HQ, and another in Fremont, CA -- and they've got cars double parked, stacked like sardines ... or even parked on top of curbs and medians, often back to back. 

The issue's pretty obvious ... not enough spaces to accommodate Tesla's growing staff. Like, not even close. Elon's reportedly working on a long-term solution.

For now, enjoy the shots of the chaos. Unless, y'know ... you work at Tesla.

Neil Gorsuch SCOTUS 'Hazing' Begins Cafeteria & Other Duties Assigned

4/11/2017 7:51 AM PDT

Neil Gorsuch will have more than just Supreme Court cases to deal with as the newest justice ... he'll also be assigned to cafeteria duty and other lowly tasks for being the new robe on the bench.

SCOTUS justices have a long-running tradition of assigning the newest high judge to junior justice duties, which include 3 specific tasks he or she must undertake until a new justice fills their spot.

Gorsuch is replacing Justice Elena Kagan, who for the last 6 plus years has had to personally answer the door if knocked on during meetings with the justices, take notes during those meetings and our favorite ... attend to grievances about cafeteria food leveled by court employees.

Kagan introduced a frozen yogurt machine to the cafeteria, and Justice Stephen Breyer expanded the cafeteria's salad bar and even added Starbucks coffee when he was the junior justice.

Looks like the bar's been set pretty high for Gorsuch ... salad bar, that is.

German Car Goes Back to Manure ... No S***!

4/10/2017 10:22 AM PDT

A German dad and his daughter pulled a Biff Tannen when a trailer full of manure got dumped on their convertible.

German law enforcement says the dumping happened Saturday in a town about 18 miles north of Munich, where the 52-year-old dad and his kid were parked roadside ... minding their own business.

That's when a tractor pulling a trailer full of manure swung in their direction while driving by ... and unloaded the crap on them and their Renault.

There ain't enough steam cleaners in the world to save the car. Police said no one was injured -- but that's easy for him to say. The father and daughter were reportedly covered from head to toe.

Just like Marty McFly would draw it up.

'Shawshank Redemption' Famous Oak Tree Cut Down Forever

4/10/2017 9:39 AM PDT

The giant oak tree where Morgan Freeman found Andy's note at the end of "The Shawshank Redemption" was cut down this weekend ... and will probably be made into a table.

A co-owner of the Ohio property where the tree sat decided to pull the trigger ... or fire up the tractor, actually -- to rip up what remained of the 200-year-old oak. It was famously damaged back in 2011 when high winds knocked it over.

It suffered even more damage in a storm last summer.

The owner, Dan Dees, told the Mansfield News-Journal he removed the tree to use the surrounding field for farming. He also said he's gotten offers for parts of the tree, but hasn't made any plans to sell off the lumber.

In fact, the only concrete plans are to "make a table out of it, or a bench."

As Red might put it ... That tree just got busy dying.

Britney Spears Oops, I Delayed an Israeli Election

4/5/2017 2:15 PM PDT

Britney Spears did it again ... her concert has delayed an election in Israel.

The Israeli Labor Party has reportedly postponed its primary election from July 3 to July 4 since Brit's rolling into Tel Aviv the same day.

In a statement, the election committee for the Labor Party did not name Britney specifically -- but did say "the election date was delayed by one day due to the fact that there is a major event at Yarkon Park on July 3, 2017." That's where Britney's concert is going down.

Israeli journalist Tal Schneider broke the story ... the Labor Party apparently made the change so their party members could reach polling stations without all the foot traffic around ... and actually cast a vote.

Seems those Britney concerts are toxic for elections.

Waffle House Dine and Dash Man Falsely Accused Sues I Didn't Steal, I Left in Disgust!!

4/3/2017 12:30 AM PDT
EXCLUSIVE

Waffle House sent the cops after a man for not paying for his meal, but video evidence cleared him and now HE wants payback ... according to a new suit.

William Edmonson Jr. claims he and his son went to a Pensacola Waffle House for some grub in October 2015, but when his burger order got messed up ... he saw one of the workers grab the patty with his bare hands, peel the cheese off and throw it back on the grill. He says he was so repulsed, he and his boy left before they got their meals.

Here's where it gets interesting. According to the docs ... Waffle House falsely reported to cops that the Edmonsons ate their food and left without paying, and William got arrested and charged with theft MONTHS later.

However, Edmonson says Waffle House later turned over surveillance footage of the incident that showed he and his son left without ever receiving their food ... so the DA immediately dropped the charges.

Edmonson's still PISSED, though, and wants a whole lot of cash from the restaurant to make it right.

We reached out to Waffle House ... so far, no word back.

Pepe Aguilar Son Arrested for Smuggling 4 People

3/31/2017 12:40 AM PDT
EXCLUSIVE

Mariachi superstar Pepe Aguilar's son is the man who infamously attempted to smuggle 4 Chinese nationals into the U.S. by stuffing them in the trunk of his car ... according to U.S. Customs officials.

Customs and Border Control released the photo of the 4 people earlier this month, but no one realized the driver of the Chrysler 200 was connected to Aguilar -- a Grammy winning singer so popular he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Jose Emiliano Aguilar was stopped on March 14th at the border crossing between Tijuana and San Ysidro, CA. Agents were alerted when a K-9 unit got a whiff of the human cargo.

According to docs ... Jose unlocked the trunk and agents found 2 men and 2 women. Each had agreed to pay between $3k and $60k if they'd successfully made it into the country.

Jose has retained powerhouse attorney Jeremy Warren, who tells us ... "The Aguilars are a strong, tight-knit family. Nothing about this situation will change that."

Kim Kardashian It's the Tooth! I Have a Hidden Talent

3/30/2017 4:40 PM PDT

Kim Kardashian says her nose ALWAYS knows when it comes to rotting teeth ... and that's not just some BS her 'KUWTK' producers cooked up for the show.

We got Kim at Cuvee restaurant in West Hollywood, and asked about a very strange claim she once made about Lamar Odom's mouth. She totally doubled down.

The dentist will see you now.

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