Here, in all its glory, is supermodel Adriana Lima's message to all her fellow countrymen still licking their wounds from that humiliating World Cup loss to Germany.
It's pretty simple -- ultimately, Brazil always comes out on top. Or, in this case ... bottom.
We know ... Lima's Victoria's Secret shoot has nothing to do with soccer. But who's complaining?
Your move, Heidi Klum.
U.S. Soccer Star Alex Morgan
FIFA Is Treating Women
Like Second Class Citizens
8/9/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
U.S. women's soccer star Alex Morgan says FIFA is using women as "guinea pigs" by making them play their World Cup on artificial turf while the men have no plans to switch any time soon.
Morgan and several other women's soccer players are furious the 2015 World Cup in Canada will be played on artificial turf as a "test" … while the men will play on grass for their next two World Cups.
Morgan says she understands certain venues have limited resources, but when it comes to the World Cup ... there should be no settling. Especially because artificial turf increases the risk of injury, and -- many believe -- decreases the quality of play.
There are no plans to boycott, but Morgan helped organize a group of more than 40 players that has hired a law firm to request FIFA reconsider the use of turf.
Hampton Dellinger, the lead attorney for the women, says FIFA has yet to respond -- and since everyone loves a metaphor, he added … "The ball is in their pitch."
It's Time For A 'New Chapter'
8/7/2014 11:47 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
U.S. soccer legend Landon Donovan is hanging up his spikes ... announcing he'll retire after the MLS season.
Donovan announced the decision on his Facebook page, writing, "After careful deliberation and after many conversations with those closest to me, I have decided that this will be my last season as a professional soccer player."
Donovan, who many consider the best player in the history of American soccer, says although he spent half his life in the sport, he's looking forward to a "new chapter" -- which some think means a trip to the broadcast booth.
U.S. Soccer coach Jurgen Klinsmann stirred up controversy earlier this year when he left Donovan off the World Cup roster. Despite the snub, Donovan says, "I will do everything I can to help the continued growth of soccer in the United States."
Thanks for the memories Landon. We loved watching you when nothing else was on ...
My Back Is Good Enough
To Party with Paris Hilton!
8/4/2014 6:59 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
A fractured vertebra might be enough to keep Brazilian soccer star Neymar off the pitch, but it's not enough to stop him from partying with Paris Hilton.
The 22-year-old posted a photo to his Instagram page, posing with Paris in a nightclub in Ibiza.
Neymar suffered the terrible back injury during Brazil's quarterfinal win against Chile in the World Cup. He missed the next game and it's unclear if he'll be ready for the start of La Liga.
Paris is apparently popular on the soccer scene -- last week she posed with USA midfielder Jermaine Jones.
... After German Asskicking
7/9/2014 7:04 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Not even a diamond-crusted wonderbra could make Brazilian supermodels Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio happy after their team got SMACKED AROUND by zee Germans yesterday.
The ladies had thrown on their finest Team Brazil jerseys ... and went to an NYC restaurant ... in hopes they would be able to loudly brag about Brazil making the World Cup final.
Instead, Adriana looked like she was fighting back tears ... like most of the Brazil fans who were at the game ... and Alessandra was so mad, she flashed a duck-faced thumbs down to the paps!!!
Meanwhile, over at Heidi Klum's pad ...
Brazil's Loss Was Epic!!!
'Worse Than Embarrassing'
7/9/2014 6:21 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Brazil's humiliating 7-1 loss to Germany wasn't just bad ... it might be the most EMBARRASSING thing that's ever happened to a World Cup team ... so says Piers Morgan.
The former CNN host -- and die-hard soccer fan -- was out at Madeo last night when he WENT OFF on Brazil ...
"The most incredible thing I've ever watched in my entire 49 years of watching football," Morgan said ... "It was like an abattoir. A footballing abattoir."
For the record, "abattoir" is a fancy French word for "slaughterhouse."
Morgan's trashing of Brazil continues -- and he explains why the ass-kicking was actually GREAT for U.S. soccer. Check out the clip.
ANOTHER AMAZING BLOCK
... When Fan Gets Too Close
7/3/2014 8:27 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
He signed autographs ... he shook hands ... but when one random dude went in for a hug -- that's when Howard broke out those cat-like reflexes ... and made sure the guy kept his distance.
It's just like President Obama predicted when he spoke to Howard on the phone ... where he told him straight up -- "I don't know how you're gonna survive the mobs when you come back home man ... you're gonna have to shave your beard so they don't know who you are!"
Nothing gets through Howard ... NOTHING!!!!!!!!
U.S. World Cup Match
Porn Site Traffic Dips
Except For ...
6/26/2014 1:33 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
A giant porn company suffered a seismic loss in business when the U.S. World Cup team triumphantly lost to Germany Thursday ... with a notable gay exception.
The folks over at Bang Bros -- who run sites like Bang Bus, AssParade and TugJobs -- tell TMZ their network of sites took a 33% hit during the big match.
But for some reason ... its gay site, Gay Pawn, saw a rise in traffic ... to the tune of 23%.
Theories in the office:
-- It was a great 2-screen experience
-- The hot soccer players got people hot
-- Someone else controlled the TV set
-- The soccer players got the "curious" more curious
-- All that talk of headers ...
Not that there's anything wrong with any of our theories.
Brazilian Playboy Model
Check Out My World Cups!
6/18/2014 3:00 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Smoke show Ana Braga hit the beach in Miami, proving there is at least one Brazilian on the planet NOT obsessed with the World Cup.
The bikini model who was once featured on the cover of Playboy Venezuela ... supported her futbol team Tuesday -- the same day they played Mexico -- by wearing a super teeny tiny g-string bikini.
Considering the Mexico match ended in a 0-0 tie ... Ana might need to wear even less for Brazil's next game.
The World Cup is awesome.
Playboy Playmate Returns to Action
... In Booty Shorts
6/17/2014 12:22 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Pomplun -- who was raised in Tijuana -- blew up on the 'net last week by live-cheering Mexico's game against Cameroon ... and clearly, she's more than happy to do it again for today's match against Brazil.
She's already uploaded a pre-game pump up video to show off her team spirit.
Hopefully, Mexico pulls through on their end.
Just Your Average World Cup Spectator
6/13/2014 1:09 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Self-proclaimed soccer fan Kobe Bryant was spotted in the stands at the Spain vs. Netherlands World Cup match in Brazil today ... taking in the game like every other non-world famous celeb in the building.
No word on who Bryant's pulling for ... but he was sitting next to a bunch of Spain fans.
It'll be interesting if Kobe runs into Team USA coach Jurgen Klinsmann during his time in Brazil -- since Klinsmann recently ripped the Lakers for giving Kobe a $48 million contract extension.
“This always happens in America. Kobe Bryant, for example -- why does he get a two-year contract extension for $50 million? Because of what he is going to do in the next two years for the Lakers?"
"Of course not. Of course not. He gets it because of what he has done before. It makes no sense. Why do you pay for what has already happened?"
Maybe Kobe can tell him in person.
PLAYBOY PLAYMATE GOES WILD
... For Every Goal
6/13/2014 10:44 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The entire TMZ Sports newsroom just became fans of Team Mexico ... because every time the squad scores a goal, Playboy's 2013 Playmate of the Year is celebrating by bouncing around in a skimpy top.
Raquel Pomplun -- who was raised in Tijuana -- is live-cheering the game with Playboy and Hornitos tequila ... which basically means she quickly records a sexy video anytime Mexico does anything noteworthy.
Earlier today, Mexico scored its first goal of the World Cup against Cameroon ... and Pomplun went wild.
Sooooo ... Viva Mexico!
World Cup 'No Sex' Rules
... Are Total BS!!!
6/12/2014 2:37 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Team Costa Rica and Team Mexico are getting screwed ... by not being able to get screwed during the World Cup ... so says Reggie Miller who tells us the "no sex" rules are stupid.
Miller -- one of the most clutch athletes of all-time -- says he doesn't understand why World Cup teams forbid their players from banging during the tourney ... saying, "If you're a trained athlete, I think you're gonna focus no matter what."
He adds, "It's mind over matter, isn't it?"
But could boning before a big game actually HELP an athlete before a big game? Check out Reggie's reaction -- pretty funny!