Justin Bieber has declared Instagram war on Orlando Bloom ... with a pic of the Brit dissolving into tears.
It's Bieber's second Instagram salvo ... hours after Orlando took a swing at him at Cipriani restaurant in Ibiza he posted a sexy pic of Miranda Kerr and then quickly took it down.
Miranda -- the Helen of Troy in this war -- was the trigger for the bar scuffle. It's clear Orlando felt Justin was banging her while they were still man and wife.
We'd say there's no use crying over Miranda, but then again ...
Security Guard Sues
He Wanted Me To F*** Up Fan Club Honcho
7/30/2014 12:50 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Morrissey wanted to turn his security guard into a thug ... to hurt a fan he despised, and the singer's manager wanted the guy killed ... so claims the bodyguard in a new lawsuit.
Bradley Steyn claims Morrissey begged him to become his hired muscle ... after a San Jose show where he was bum rushed on stage by fans.
Steyn signed on ... but claims it quickly became apparent Morrissey had more diabolical plans.
According to Steyn ... Morrissey hated the guy who ran one of his fan websites -- Morrissey-solo.com -- which he felt invaded his personal life. Steyn claims in the suit Morrissey asked if there was a way the fan "could get hurt."
Steyn claims right in front of Morrissey ... the tour manager asked if the fan "could be gotten rid of." Then they discussed how to get the fan's home address.
Steyn says in the suit he rejected the overture ... and got fired the next day.
We tried getting in touch with Morrissey ... so far, no luck.
Yeah, Brandon and I Kissed, But ...
7/30/2014 12:40 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kim Kardashian and step-bro Brandon Jenner had an illicit make-out session ... so intimated Brody Jenner, but in reality we've learned there's less here than meets the eye.
Our Kardashian archival sources tell us ... the "kiss" went down when Kim was around 11 and Brandon was 12. Fact is ... Kris and Bruce weren't even married at the time, but they were dating.
The kiss was part of a Truth or Dare game, and it was more like a peck on the lips.
Wow ... Kim learned a lot since she was 11.
Jocasta's Sister RIPS Frankie
For 'Go Kill Yourself' Comment
7/29/2014 3:44 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The sister of "Big Brother" contestant Jocasta Odom is tearing cast member Frankie Grande to shreds ... for saying Jocasta "can kill herself."
Frankie's back stab stung hard ... because Jocasta -- a pastor -- just performed a memorial service for his recently deceased grandfather.
Maranda Chelsea, Jocasta's sis, tells TMZ, "It was an ignorant statement and the little respect I had for him just went out the window." And the parting shot, "It shows the lack of maturity he has."
Miranda isn't the only one pissed off -- so are the fans ... @JrAguja1997 tweeted "I don't f**king care if your sister sings good, you're a s**tty person Frankie. Calling Jocasta to kill herself. Argh."
Whatever sympathy Frankie had built up this past week has now quickly gone away ... and it only took 13 seconds of footage to do it.
David Tutera, Ryan Jurica
Twins From Split
Have Never Met
7/29/2014 1:45 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
The twins born more than a year ago to David Tutera and ex-partner Ryan Jurica have never met.
As TMZ previously reported, Tutera and Jurica each fertilized an egg that was implanted in the same surrogate, who gave birth to the two babies at the same time. David and Ryan split before birth ... David kept the girl, Cielo, and Ryan kept the boy, Cedric.
David -- who hosts CELEBrations on WE tv -- told Harvey and Charles on "TMZ Live" ... the kids have had zero contact because of the nuclear breakup.
Ryan tells TMZ ... he's attempted to create a relationship between the twins, but David would have none of it. Ryan says he thinks the kids need to establish a bond sooner than later, and, "I will do all that I can to foster it."
David hedged on "TMZ LIve," saying he's open to the kids connecting one day.
Kandi Burruss' Tour Demands
Don't Even Think of KFC
I WANT POPEYES!
7/29/2014 1:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kandi Burruss' backstage demands are HILARIOUS ... whatever you do, don't screw with her Popeyes fried chicken!
TMZ has obtained a copy of Burruss' contract rider ... listing her demands for the touring production of her musical show, "A Mother's Love" ... and she's VERY picky.
When it comes to food ... the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" star demands Popeyes fried chicken. The contract states: "Please do not substitute for KFC or Churches, we know the difference."
But ... even though she won't eat KFC birds ... she insists on KFC cole slaw.
Burruss is just as finicky about her bathroom requirements ... a brand new toilet seat for starters -- which must be installed under the supervision of the road manager or an assistant. Plus, the bathroom must be fully stocked with Cottonelle toilet paper and Dove soap.
-a black Mercedes Benz Sprinter
-golf carts and umbrellas in case of rain
-a police escort to skirt traffic jams -- because "under no circumstance shall Kandi be delayed arriving at or departing" from the venue.
Kandi's rep confirms the authenticity of the contract.
'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'
Offensive 9/11 Tweet
7/29/2014 8:30 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Paramount Pictures Australia quickly deleted a tweet promoting the new "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie ... featuring the turtles falling from an exploding building ... and a release date of 9/11.
The tweet was posted Tuesday morning and it didn't take long for Twitter users to see what apparently the entire marketing department did not. Retweets included: "WOW. Someone's getting fired for this" ... "Did Paramount really think this was a suitable poster for a movie release on September 11th?" and "'Too soon?' 'Nah, who cares.'"
A rep for Paramount Australia tells TMZ, "We are deeply sorry to have used that artwork for the marketing materials promoting the September 11 opening in Australia. Combining that image and date was a mistake. We intended no offense and have taken immediate action to discontinue its use."
She's a Rackstar
Grabs Boobs at Disneyland
7/28/2014 4:35 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Kate Walsh went to Disneyland, but it's hooters that ended up making her day -- as she cupped a pair of boobs on Splash Mountain.
The "Private Practice" actress kept her hands well inside the log flume over the weekend -- and showed full support for the knockers seated in front of her during the ride's signature drop.
Kate seemed unimpressed with the rack, but maybe she's just felt 'em before. Turns out the chick is a friend of hers.
Caution: Riders may get wet.
Freddie Prinze, Jr.
Kiefer Beef Alcohol-Related
Fox Says Hogwash
7/28/2014 1:40 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Freddie Prinze, Jr. believes alcohol made Kiefer Sutherland impossible to deal with on the set of "24" ... but a key Fox source tells TMZ Freddie's claims are BS.
Sources connected with Freddie tell TMZ ... the actor claims Kiefer would regularly show up on set drunk ... sitting in his trailer often for hours, as everyone waited. The sources say it messed with the lives of the family of cast and crew.
Freddie, we're told, claims Kiefer was temperamental and got people fired he didn't like, yet "24" producers consistently cow-towed to him ... as one source put it, "All they did was keep rewarding him."
Our sources claim Freddie was groomed to take over the series but it became such a nightmare for him he bailed.
Keifer's rep tells TMZ, "Kiefer worked with Freddie Prinze, Jr. more than 5 years ago, and this is the first he has heard of Freddie's grievances." The rep adds, "Kiefer enjoyed working with Freddie and wishes him the best."
A Fox official tells TMZ ... Kiefer was "nothing but professional during the run of the show and is beloved by cast and crew." The honcho adds, "It's so out of left field, 5 years later."
The official goes on, "We wouldn't have done another '24' if Kiefer were anything like Freddie described."
George R.R. Martin
I'm NOT Obsessed With 'Weenies'
... But I Love Boobs!
7/28/2014 12:25 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
George R.R. Martin says "South Park'" got it all wrong ... claiming he's NOT the wiener-obsessed old man he was made out to be ... he's more of a boob man!
The "Game of Thrones" creator decided to set the record straight at Comic-Con during an interview with Clevver News -- right after he admitted that he's never actually watched the famous "GoT" episode.
"I do have to say I've been told that my character on 'South Park' is obsessed about weenies. I have to deny this as a scurrilous rumor."
But what Martin says next is even more entertaining than watching Lord Tyrion bitch slap Joffrey.
Yes, I Once Drugged My GF's Mom
So We Could Bang on the Couch
7/28/2014 1:30 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Slash was once so desperate to get laid ... he and a girlfriend drugged her mother, and then had sex right next to her while she slept -- and best of all ... he was 13.
The guitar god made the confession when we asked him about the craziest place he's ever banged ... fully expecting some story about life on the road during the Guns n' Roses heyday.
We definitely were NOT expecting this pubescent/criminal tale.
You've gotta hear Slash explain the whole caper, but the take away? In his words, "There's no ridiculous place [to bone] ... if you can get away with it."
The more you know.
My Russian Beer Commercial
Doesn't Make Me Pro-Putin
7/28/2014 10:02 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
David Duchovny says his beer commercial musing about living his life as a Russian does NYET mean he supports Russian politics -- especially the invasion of the Ukraine.
Duchovny's statement to TMZ comes in the middle of a flurry of criticism over his commercial for a Russian Siberian beer -- Siberian Crown. Duchovny wonders in the spot what his life would be like if he was Russian ... fantasizing about being a cosmonaut, a ballerina, and other Russian stuff.
The actor tells TMZ, "I am proud of my Russian, Ukrainian, Scottish and Polish heritage as I am proud of my American heritage."
Duchovny goes on, "But being proud of one's ancestry is not a political statement on any current government or public policies."
He insists the beer commercial is not a political statement, but adds, "In retrospect, and in light of recent tragic events, I can now see the potential for misunderstanding and hope people will understand."
By the Short Hairs
7/28/2014 6:58 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
Justin Bieber made it to the Young Hollywood Awards Sunday just by the tiny hairs of his chinny chin chin.
Justin's been working on the stache for around 3 years ... by our count.
He's no Burt Reynolds.