Here's Barbie doll-wigged "Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Kim Zolciak (left) -- and male-to-female transgendered diva Alexis Arquette (right).

One of them says she is 29. Alexis is 39.

We're just sayin'.

Internet sensation turned fame whore Chris Crocker knows that to really make it in Hollywood one needs to hang out with the A-list -- transsexuals! Leave the mascara alone!

The 19-year-old pancaked blonde-bobbed Britney lover hit up the Z-list fest that was the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards on Tuesday, and nipslipped with everyone's favorite male-to-female transgendered Arquette, Alexis! Girls will be girls!


Alexis,38, then went on to manhandle "I Love New York" cheeseball "Heat," telling him, "I have the soft taco for your hot beef filling." Make a run for the border!

While at a reality TV event this weekend, "Surreal Life" star Alexis Arquette exposed her, um, playful side by holding a stuffed teddy bear to her breast. Pretty in pink!

Looking like one of Bret Michael's "Rock of Love" rejects, the 38-year-old transmessual darling dazzled in her '80s glam rock hooker chic! This gal is a real head turner!

It's not easy being a handsome woman!

Buxom blond beauty Alexis Arquette pulled a Meagan Good this weekend and proved why she's the breast in show! Lexi's developed into quite the lady!


David Arquette's male-to-female transgendered sister arrived to Mr. Chow in a lacy, see through number. Sheer terror!

Ms. Arquette and her, er, girls help separate the former men from the boys!

Brigitte Nielsen brought her freshly rehabaliciousness to the Flava Flav roast -- oh yes, it was a veritable feast of roasting nuts on the purple carpet, including arrestaholic Snoop Dogg, alleged funnyman Joe Rogan, porny Ron Jeremy, squeezed-into-it Carrot Top and the sex-a-luscious Alexis Arquette.


Jerry Springer is seen walking into Mr. Chow, saying nothing. So enjoy it.

Sharon Stone was seen shopping for clothes -- and she needs 'em -- she's got a new BF, supposedly Craig Ferguson -- is there no end to the excitement of today's Star Catcher?

Hector Monserratte (we don't really know who he is either) held a birthday party at Falcon in Hollywood last night, where guests included the train wrecktastic Bobby Trendy, Daniel DiCriscio and transgendered phenom Alexis Arquette. Happy birthday to who?!

Monserratte, who was nominated for something called a WeHo Award for something called Best Male Personality, had to roll out his own red carpet at the event and was spotted by TMZ's photog applying tape to the side to keep it from coming loose. You bettah work! Making matters worse was Ms. Arquette, who showed up not even knowing the guest of honor's name, majorly flubbing up her birthday shout-out for our camera. Drink yer juice, Shelby!

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