What? Dakota Fanning is a Sophomore? If she's older, does that mean we're older now too? Crap.

These aren't photos from Dakota's next movie -- she was spotted cheering at her actual private high school this weekend, and yes, she's cheering for a real football team.

Dakota Fanning appears to have survived that awkward, unfortunate stage that afflicts many child stars somewhere between puberty and their first DUI.

The 14-year-old turned up to the NYC premiere of "That Dakota Fanning Rape Movie" last night, looking like quite the lovely young lady.

Your move, Abigail Breslin.

Holy s**t! Dakota Fanning is all growed up!

The adorably annoying child star, who turned 14 on Saturday, was snapped at LAX this weekend wearing a trend almost as old as she is -- Ugg boots!

Proving not all of young Hollywood is messed up, Dakota has never gone to rehab or received a DUI. Yet.

Is Gary Coleman so hard up for advance cash that he now has to rely on Sundance swag? Is Dustin "Screech" Diamond so desperate to keep his faux sex tape buzz going that he has to compete for attention with Gary Coleman? It's just the tip of this week's surreal (celebrity) life iceberg.

Sharon Stone: You'd think after her breasts bagged the Razzie Award nomination for "Worst Screen Couple" of 2006, this 48-year-old actress' basic instinct would be to keep them under wiry wraps. But no, there she was earlier this week, brazenly brawless at the Ivy in Beverly Hills. Stone is no longer the good kind of MILF -- e.g., a movie star we'd like to fraternize with ... now she's a movie star we'd like to forget. Her take for "Basic Instinct 2" dwarfed that of her other '06 paydays -- "Bobby," "Alpha Dog" and a three-episode arc on Showtime's "Huff." But just as original "Basic Instinct" scribe Joe Ezsterhas has been known to give CAA the one-finger salute, Stone may want to park in front of her agency for a few moments and flip the good folks at William Morris a similar thank you.

Click here... it's not over yet

Rachel Zoe, we've got a new job for you, and the client is already built like a 12-year-old, because she's 12.

Dakota Fanning's court jester/MC Hammer ensemble was seen at the Tokyo premiere of "Charlotte's Web" on Wednesday. The poor thing is in need of a pre-teen makeover.

While Dakota may enjoy dressing like she's in a fairy tale, this result was an unhappy ending.