Surviving the Titanic is nothing compared to being mauled by Liza Minnelli's hex-husband David Gest.

Millvina Dean, 96, is the last living survivor of the Titanic disaster and had her self-preservation skills tested when Gest when in for a wet one.
Despite his creepy self, Gest actually did some good by presenting Millvina with a check after hearing she was selling off her Titanic items to pay for nursing home costs.
Liza Minnelli's ex man-wife David Gest bedazzled the crowd at a London charity event on Thursday -- literally.

The 54-year-old divorcee wore an absolutely faaaabulous jacket with an image of a sparkling drill-holding Whitney Houston on it . It's not right, but it's
not ok!
While Whitney headlined the event, David's flamboyant ensemble stole the show.
Authorities are looking for the whereabouts of this gorgeous woman -- last spotted in England with the expressionless wildebeest known as David Gest!

British model/reality star Sophie Anderton, 30, was seen leaving a London club Tuesday, arm-in-arm with Liza Minnelli's ghastly 54-year-old troll ex-hasbeen. Run for your lives!
This species of David Gest monster is particularly known for latching onto vulnerable females, frivolous lawsuits and its macabre frozen face. Any leads to their whereabouts should be sent to Scotland Yard.
Michael Jackson's good friend, David Gest, enjoys dressing like little boys!

The 54-year-old expressionless Muppet arrived to a comedy award show in London on Thursday, all skater punked-out like a geriatric Pete Wentz. This ain't a scene -- it's a damn train wreck!
The former Mr. Minnelli was nominated for Funniest
Looking Reality TV Person.

Since he's used to being the butt of jokes, David Gest has decided to take his one-man freak show on the British comedy circuit road! Why did the botoxed humanoid cross the road?!
Starting in February, the ex-Mr. Liza Minnelli will embark on "his first major UK comedy tour," and claims it "will be one of the most lavish spectacles ever put together." But can it top his monster's ball nuptials with Liza?
While the 54-year-old is already considered a clown in America, Gest has become quite the reality show trainwreck sensation across the pond. And his stand-up promises not to disappoint -- by including "magic, fireworks and a lot of stories that will have the audience in
stitches!" By that they must mean a
bloody mess!
With everyone and their botox zombie husbands getting a reality TV show -- add one more to the trainwreck pileup. David Gest trolled the streets of Los Angeles with his own television production crew in tow on Saturday. Run for your lives!

The 53-year-old former bride of Liza Minnelli futilely attempted to make facial gestures as he cavorted with his contractually bound team of hangers-on outside a Beverly Hills tea shop. David with a D!
Luckily, American eyes will be spared the David Gest Show; it will only air in the UK. Thank heaven for little things.