Forget "Real Housewives" ... Danielle Staub is now earning over $1,000 AN HOUR to chat on the phone with fans ... and here's a shocker, she doesn't even need to talk dirty.

The former reality villain has joined forces with a website called Dial-A-Star.com ... connecting fans with z-list celebs at a premium price ... Staub gets $18-per-minute.

And she isn't the only one cashing in ...

Tila Tequila -------- $20-per-minute
Dina Lohan ------- $18-per-minute
OctoMom ---------- $12-per-minute
Michael Lohan --- $10-per-minute

There's more ... including "Jersey Shore" cast-off Angelina Pivarnick, Charlie Sheen's tryst Capri Anderson, and Hugh Hefner's ex-fiancee Crystal Harris.

We're told the site's been blowing up since it launched last week ... with Staub taking the honors as the top earner ... raking in $6,000 in calls since the launch. Angelina and Michael Lohan are tied for second with over $3,000 each, followed by Octomom at $1,260.

And here we thought these people might have to get real jobs soon. Silly us.

The Lohans came together for a traditional family Christmas photo on Sunday -- but one person was conspicuously missing ...

While Ali, Dina, Mike Jr., Lindsay, and Cody chowed down in Long Island to commemorate the birthday of Jesus -- Michael Lohan was stuck in Florida ... completing his court-ordered  4-month stint at a treatment center, which includes a domestic violence intervention program.

Sources close to the Lohans tell us, it was pretty joyous -- lots of gifts, delicious food, and no one jumping off a 3-story balcony.

With her big court date just days away, Lindsay Lohan has requested the one person who can put her mind ease to be at her side ... her mother, Dina. What, you were expecting a different parent?

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ ... Dina will be making the trip from NY to LA to be with Lindsay as she gets ready to face Judge Sauntner. We're told Lindsay asked Dina to make the trip, and even booked the flight herself ... something we're told Lindsay only does when she is particularly worried about what might happen.

Lindsay had her probation revoked back on October 19. She could get sentenced on Wednesday to a year-and-a-half in jail, though Sauntner herself admitted that sentence is unlikely.

Michael Lohan got a special delivery while he was rotting away in a Tampa jail yesterday -- dude got served with new legal papers from his ex-wife Dina ... who's demanding $11k in unpaid child support.

We thought the kids were all in their 30s by now ... apparently not.

A rep for the Lohan family just issued a statement, appearing to take issue with TMZ's story that Dina Lohan is pitching a book around town, but he's not really taking issue at all ... because what we're saying is the truth.

The rep says: 

-- "Dina has not written a book yet and has not signed with a publisher."

That statement is true.  She has written a prologue -- which we have seen -- and she is trying to shop it around to literary agents.

--  "If and when that happens, her book would certainly show the utmost compassion for her children."

Maybe that's true ... that is if she changes the prologue which she is using to sell the book ... because in the prologue she exposes her daughter's drug and alcohol problems.

-- "Right now her focus is on the well-being of her family."

You be the judge of that one.

Lindsay Lohan's mom is trying to expose her own daughter's dark secrets, blowing the lid off of Lindsay's alleged drug and alcohol use in a memoir that she's shopping around town -- shopping it as recently as 2 weeks ago -- as Lindsay was looking down the barrel of a hostile judge and a jail sentence.

TMZ has obtained the draft of a prologue for Dina Lohan's memoir, which Dina's rep is shopping to people in the literary world.  In the prologue, Dina writes:


Dina explains why she moved Lindsay from New York to L.A. at such a young age:


When Lindsay began acting crazy, accumulating mugshots and what not, Dina says she was helpless, claiming she couldn't demand that Lindsay return to New York.  Dina also confesses she was conflicted since she was both Lindsay's parent and manager.

Dina and her rep were soliciting meetings via email two weeks ago, to brainstorm how to make her book "a best seller."

Our sources say a ghost writer actually wrote the prologue after long sit-downs with Dina and her rep, and both were solidly on board.

As far as we know ... so far, no takers.

A child can do no wrong in their mother's eyes -- and no matter the situation, that motto is always true when it comes to Dina and Lindsay Lohan.

Our photog caught up with Dina outside East Hampton Studio last night where she described Lindsay as "great," "wonderful" and "really on it" when it comes to doing her community service.

Her community service is a huge issue right now. As we previously reported, Lindsay was booted from the Downtown Women's Center -- because, according to our sources, she repeated failed to show up and when she did ... she didn't stay the required four hours.

Lindsay is scheduled to appear in court on Wednesday -- we'll see if the judge feels the same way Dina does.

Cops showed up to the Lohan residence in New York last week ... after a member of the family claimed they were receiving threatening phone calls ... but it wasn't Dina ... or Lindsay ... or Ali ... or Michael Sr. ... or Jr. -- it was the youngest Lohan of them all, 15-year-old Cody.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... Cody called the Nassau County Police Department on Thursday and told officers a mystery caller was blowing up his cell phone and threatening to "harm him."

We're told cops checked out the Lohan home -- looking for anything suspicious -- but we're told they didn't find anything out of the ordinary.

Cody's mom Dina is still in Los Angeles, having attended the Kardashian wedding -- but sources close to the Lohan gang tell us family members are taking the threats very seriously and Cody is under proper care.

Dina Lohan apparently thinks she's Dina De Laurentiis ... because she's telling investors she can snag some of the biggest actors in Hollywood for her new movie.

TMZ has obtained a copy of the business plan Dina's sending to prospective financiers -- asking for a grand total of $5.28 million to shoot an R-rated film called "Growing Defiant" -- which takes "a hard look at the social pressures that can lead a kid in the wrong direction."  Hmmm.

According to the business plan, the actors she'll go after include Dakota Fanning, Selena Gomez, Michael Cera, James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Tina Fey, Amanda Seyfried, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Stone, and Mila Kunis ... oh, and Michael Lohan, Jr. in the starring role of a heroin addict.

Now here's the best part.  There's an asterisk at the bottom of the plan, which reads, "The cast listed above is a suggested cast list only.  Michael Lohan is the only cast member who has been signed."

And Dina apparently thinks big actors will do anything to sign on, because she's allotting a grand total of $1,125,000 for actors' fees.

Dina Lohan -- a regular Bruckheimer, only easier to pronounce.

Lindsay Lohan looked exhausted as she left the Kim Kardashian wedding in Montecito, CA last night -- while her 48-year-old mother Dina still had plenty of energy, yukking it up in the back seat with a friend (Mel B, is that you?).

Where has the old Lindsay gone?

Lindsay Lohan arrived at a hotel in Santa Barbara in the wee hours of the morning as she gets ready to attend to the Kim Kardashian wedding today.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us the reason why she showed up to the hotel at 2:30 AM ... her mom Dina arrived on a late flight from NYC.

Dina and Lindsay are both going to the wedding today (the families have been tight for a while) and we're told they're super excited to be a part of the wedding.