Elisha Cuthbert's hockey star boyfriend -- Calgary Flames' Dion Phaneuf -- got wasted at a piano bar in Vegas, went to the stage and did what any other red-blooded man would do in his situation: He tried to sing "Piano Man" by Billy Joel ... and it was awesome.

In hockey, you can get a five-minute penalty for fighting, two minutes for high-sticking -- and thrown off your team for making lewd comments about Elisha Cuthbert.

The Dallas Stars say Sean Avery will not be rejoining the team after serving a six-game suspension, saying: "All parties said there is a clear understanding that a return to the Stars is not in the best interest of either the hockey club or Avery."

Avery was originally suspended for his "sloppy seconds" comment about his ex girlfriend, Elisha, that he made to the media during practice.

Hockey hothead Sean Avery is scrambling to make up for the foul comments he made about his ex girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert, by releasing this apology:

"I would like to sincerely apologize for my off-color remarks to the press yesterday from Calgary.

"I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate. It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actions were. I caused unnecessary embarrassment to my peers as well as people I have been close with in the past.

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Hockey Fun Fact: You can punch the hell out of an opposing player on the ice, but when you refer to his girlfriend as your "sloppy seconds" -- that's where the NHL draws the line.



The NHL suspended hockey's most hated player, Sean Avery, for talking trash to the new player dating his ex girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert.

Here's the deal -- Cuthbert's new boyfriend, Dion Phaneuf, plays for the Calgary Flames -- and during a practice session in Calgary today, Avery got the media's attention and said the following:

"I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight."

Avery is out pending a hearing with NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman.

Things got downright bloody when Elisha Cuthbert tried to leave Mr. Chow last night.

The pap calamity around Cuthbert's exit quickly shifted when an old timer ate it -- and smacked his head on the valet sign. It was a nasty sight, but paramedics came and gave him the A-OK.

Elisha Cuthbert got nasty with a red hot Ferrari outside Hyde this weekend. Yes, with, not in.


Hope they used protection.

Heidi Montag released her "music" "video" this week -- and while it was the most viewed video on TMZ, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing!

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"24" mountain lion bait Elisha Cuthbert was outside of Hyde last night -- and went off on a valet after accusing him of scamming her for money she had already paid.


As the band, Bandarazzi caused a chaotic scene around her car, Elisha starts swearing at the poor valet.

Cuthbert got super ticked last year when one of the guys brought her the wrong set of keys.

Elisha Cuthbert, sporting the latest in "aspiring first female President" designer hairstyles, last night at Spike TV's "Guy Choice" Awards.

Cuthbert in '08!

Don't cry for K-Fed; rounding off his divorce settlement at $1 million for 25 months of matrimony, that means he got paid $17,857.14 a week for his husbandly chores. No, if you do anything this weekend, shed a crocodile tear for the following K-Oed bunch.

Daniel Sadek: The real-estate-investor-turned-film-producer willingly crashed a couple of his Porsche Carrera GTs during the making of "Redline," a $26 million action flick he is personally financing. But Monday's charity race rehearsal business with co-star Eddie Griffin and a $1.5 million Ferrari Enzo was entirely unscripted, a sort of weird anniversary celebration of last year's similar Malibu Enzo dust-up involving Swedish swindler Bo Stefan Eriksson. To his credit, Sadek was able to put the loss in the proper materialistic perspective during a brief, 15-minute private trailer mourning. But for Griffin, forget about "Undercover Brother," the film he jokingly referenced afterwards. This is more like that brief one-year marriage the class clown engaged in while still in high school.

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Celebs-a-plenty turned up at BOULEVARD3 in Hollywood last night for the 2 B Free Fall 2007 Collection fashion show. What star was trendiest of them all? Why Bobby Trendy, of course, who looked like Elton John's Fairy Godmother in another of his glittery, lopsided, sparklingly craptastic creations.

When the former Anna Nicole sidekick realized he was chatting with TMZ, he immediately perked up. "Hi Harvey! Can you believe your pretty little eyes?" he cooed. Yes, he can.

Elisha Cuthbert met a swarm of fans as she made her way out, and didn't seem too happy to be signing autographs, becoming agitated when a photog bumped into her friend. She scolded the pap with, "You're not even gonna say 'sorry'?" Perhaps if she apologized for "House of Wax."

Also at BOULEVARD3: "Heroes" stars Hayden Panettiere and Zachary Quinto (with Rumer Willis?!), UFC star Tito Ortiz, "Entourage's" Rex Lee and Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis.

It's a trendy, agitated, greasy edition of Star Catcher.