Jack Nicholson has never been one to mince words ... the notion of going to the Super Bowl this Sunday makes him nauseous. 

Nicholson grabbed some dinner with CSI minx Marg Helgenberger -- no they're not dating ... just old friends -- and a photog asked the die-hard Lakers fan if he was going to the big game.

Jack's answer is shocking, but then again, it is Indianapolis (kidding).

Charlie Sheen's new TV show will be based on the movie "Anger Management"and Charlie will be playing the Jack Nicholson character ... TMZ has learned.



Sources directly involved in the project say the man who is making it all happen is uber-producer Joe Roth, who produced and owns the screenplay to the 2003 movie, "Anger Management."

We're told Charlie's character will stray a bit from the movie role.  The plan as of now -- Charlie's character will be an ex-jock who got his master's degree in social work during the offseason.  He becomes a counselor to defendants in the criminal justice system with anger management problems.  But, of course, Charlie's character will have anger issues of his own.

We're told the deal with Lionsgate is not done, but is in the final stages of negotiations.  And we're told, there is no deal with a network to air the show -- at least not yet.

Roth has worked with Charlie on 5 projects, including "Major League," "Young Guns" and "Three Musketeers."

Who killed JFK? What happened to Amelia Earhart? And now ... who is the Asian lady who's become as famous at L.A. Lakers games as Jack Nicholson? TMZ investigates.



Check out TMZ on TV -- click here to see your local listings!

Oksana Grigorieva's bodyguard/key adviser told her none other than Jack Nicholson was footing the bill for his services because Jack was so concerned for her safety ... but his story is pure BS -- sources tell TMZ.


We know Kristian Otto Herzog -- a twice-convicted felon who impersonated a cop with a loaded firearm -- told Mel Gibson's baby mama he would protect her free of charge, because Jack was graciously covering the bills.

Herzog showed Oksana this photo -- posted on his Facebook page -- to show he's done work for Nicholson in the past. The photo was taken at The Ivy restaurant. But we're told Nicholson doesn't know Herzog from Adam ... and Herzog just inserted himself in the photo as Jack was leaving the restaurant.

Herzog has become Oksana's key adviser who is now calling all the shots. TMZ broke the story ... Judge Scott Gordon issued a restraining order Monday against Herzog, ruling he posed a danger to baby Lucia and prohibited him from going near her.

Jack Nicholson's daughter Lorraine Nicholson is all growed up!



While shooting a film on the beach in Hawaii on Tuesday, the gorgeous, bikini-clad, spray tanned 19-year-old showed off her God-given talents.

You can't handle her truth.

Here's former First Lady Laura Bush at an event in NYC on Monday (left), Jack Nicholson as The Joker in "Batman" (center), and Delta Burke at an awards show in L.A. this past weekend (right).


All three have got killer smiles.

We're just sayin'.

Jack Nicholson, Lorne Michaels and Paul McCartney rolled out to catch the Yankee game together last night. Wonder who paid for the peanuts?


At least two of them probably make more than Jeter, but the real question ...

Jack Nicholson took in all the beautiful sights while on a boat trip to Monaco yesterday.


The 72-year-old knows what he likes when he sees it.

O.K., so it's not the second coming, but Jack Nicholson's divine bud appeared to be running on water while vacationing in France the other day.


Check out the pics -- Jack definitely wasn't as buoyant.

Vacationing can be exhausting.



Jack Nicholson took a break from dancing, smoking in the water and flashing his moobs to nap on a plot of grass on the sidewalk in France today.

When the 72-year-old's gotta go, he's gotta go.

Jack Nicholson enjoyed a dance with a young woman in his target age demographic at a party in France over the weekend.


All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.