David Letterman ain't above cracking a fat joke ... and last night he went after Kirstie Alley ... blaming the East Coast earthquake on the "Fat Actress" star's workout regimen.

Kirstie Alley has TWO strange connections to a certain frosty-tipped TMZ staffer -- because as they say ... one woman's trash is another man's dust-collecting treasure.



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Yep ... it happened.




Kirstie Alley had to pick herself up off the ground last night after Maksim Chmerkovskiy suffered a "charlie horse" type pain that made his leg give out.

Kirstie eventually forgave Maksim -- tweeting after the show, "I salute u... U r a gladiator .... A champion... I'm honored to be your partner."

WWE star Chris Jericho is locked in for the next season of "Dancing with the Stars" ... along with Kirstie Alley, rapper Lil' Romeo, and Kendra Wilkinson ... TMZ has learned.



So far, we've confirmed 6 of the 11 celebrities who will appear on the show as well as their partners -- check it out:

-- Chris Jericho & Cheryl Burke
-- Lil' Romeo & Chelsie Hightower
-- Kendra Wilkinson & Louis van Amstel
-- Kirstie Alley & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
-- Wendy Williams & Tony Dovolani
-- Disney star Chelsea Kane & Mark Ballas

"DWTS" will officially announce the celebrity cast tonight during "The Bachelor."

It was a very Jackson afternoon for TMZ Live today -- and Harvey and Mike had you covered, answering questions on the battle between Katherine Jackson and Dr. Conrad Murray ... who may also sue AEG.


Also: A Brock Lesner update, raiding Kirstie Alley's yard sale, the Heene family outing on ABC's dime and ... could Britney go crazy again?

Plus: Does Jon Gosselin stand a chance against TLC?

Bruce Willis and Kirstie Alley -- one is an incredibly generous tipper and the other is the biggest cheapskate around ... at least according to one chatty skycap-to-the-stars.


After Brody Jenner shockingly handed out a twenty-spot for his service, the celebrity bag carrier ran his mouth about some of his most famous clients -- from Bruce to Rihanna to a whole mess of NFL bigshots -- and you're never going to believe who's tight with their wad....

How many calories can you burn by flipping the bird?

Positively radiant Scientolobeauty Kirstie Alley, 57, got her daily cardio fix while out lunching in Hollywood on Sunday.

While having a nice Scientolosnack in Studio City yesterday, Kirstie Alley proved that she can munch on whatever she wants and still look precious.

She'll have jaws of steel in no time.

"Fat Actress" star Kirstie Alley clearly hasn't seen Jenny lately, but there could be a Machiavellian reason.

After losing over 75 Scientolopounds on Jenny Craig, Kirstie said she was planning to start her very own slim down system that she'd launch next year. But these days it's clear ... Kirstie isn't taking her own medicine.

But how's this for a theory -- she can't sell a weight loss program if there's no dramatic before and after fresh in people's minds. So she balloons up, then slims down, and then sells tons (you'll pardon the expression) of her magic weight loss stuff.

Genius!

With Suppressive Persons surrounding her as she made her way to a restaurant in L.A. on Thursday, professional bird-flipper Kirstie Alley reacted the only way she knows how -- by eating a cheeseburger giving a photographer the finger ... with a smile.

WWLRHD?!

It was an exciting evening in Hollywood, as huge star Frankie Muniz left super-exclusive Hyde with his cell phone glued to his ear. Agent Cody Banks is on the case!


Flitting around L.A.: "Dancing with the Stars" semi-celebs Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Cheryl Burke. A sans fat-suit John Travolta exited the stage door at the Hollywood Awards, holding two new mantel pieces, along with fitness freak Kirstie Alley and Janet "not as crazy as the rest of the family" Jackson.

All this and more in today's "Malcom Ex" edition of Star Catcher!