Ashlee Simpson must already be restricting her new hubby's marital allowance -- the punkster can't even afford to gas up his ride!

Pete, his Pops, and his funky new tat were cruisin' through the San Fernando Valley when their wheels sputtered to a halt. He can hate 'em all he wants, but when Pete's in need, a papper's a friend indeed.

Granted, we break lots of stories about lawsuits -- but it's always amusing when we know before the celeb defendants.

So when we caught up with Pete Wentz outside of last night's Op event, he insisted he was lawsuit-free. Pete, FYI, you may want to check this link -- ass-whoopin'.

Usually, an Ashlee Simpson trip to Las Vegas means a lot of bad singing -- but last night at the grand opening of the Palms Place, she unleashed her motherly glow.

Also at the Palms: big sis Jessica Simpson, tiny thesp Vern Troyer, "A.I" loser Constantine Maroulis and Linda Hogan and her teen companion. Mr. Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz, spent his night on the turntables ... emo-style!

What better place to blab about your fianceé's vajayjay than onstage at an after-party for the White House Correspondents' Dinner.


Ashlee must be so proud.

UPDATE: Someone might want to clue Pete Wentz in, he's denying the whole thing to MTV.
Holy unwed mothers!

23-year-old lip-synching queen Ashlee Simpson is carrying fiance Pete Wentz's baby, or so says Us. Does anyone practice safe sex anymore?!

Ashlee -- whose father is a former Baptist minister -- apparently didn't save herself for marriage like big sis Jessica... she gave it away for free!

Family values are alive and well in Tinseltown!

So you've got Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Paul Rudd -- three of the, arguably, funniest guys out there right now -- why the hell ask them about Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz's engagement?!

Also in L.A.: Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and McLovin' all blew off fans outside the Kodak Theater, Rumer Willis had her very own pap crush, Kevin Richardson was mistaken for another Backstreet Boy and Kim Kardashian got a public berating by her own sister.

In NY: Michelle Trachtenberg dodged questions about rumored BF Chace Crawford, Kiefer Sutherland went out with his new chick, and Ben Stiller struggled to remember the name of Derek Zoolander's infamous pose.

Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz at the Wayne Hadly fashion event on Saturday -- and fierce "Project Runway" winner Christian Siriano at an HRC gala this weekend.

One of them is known to wear guyliner.

We're just sayin'!

TMZ spotted Kid Rock in Malibu and he professed his love for Amy Winehouse -- everybody loves a Wino! Pete Wentz gets bombarded by autograph hounds, and Omar Epps perfects his "deer in headlights" look.


In the NYC: Mel B hangs with her sketchy hubby, while Hayden Christensen gets dissed by photogs for Samuel L. Jackson. He's a bad mutha!

Pop supercouple Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were looking forward to a peaceful, flash-free ride down an elevator -- after splurging at the soon-to-be-defunct Virgin Megastore -- when a snap-greedy photog decided to hop in and join them for the ride. Going down!


In New York: Colin Farrell divulged his knowledge on the great beers of the world -- and a preggers J-Lo showed off her Nicole Richie bugeyed glasses.

All this and more in today's "Loath in an Elevator" edition of Star Catcher!

Perhaps it was was his dour expression, tatted-up arms or curious eye makeup -- but Ashlee Simpson's main man must have looked a little suspicious at LAX yesterday -- as he was pulled aside for an extra-special security pat down. Fall out of line, boy!

Wentz, who will be performing at this weekend's VMAs in Las Vegas, was frisked by a guard after being singled out -- for some reason. Are the precociously adorable singled out for frisking?

Pop sister Ashlee Simpson won't let pieces of any other girl get in between her and her man, Fall Out Boy/manscara wearer Pete Wentz. Last weekend in Chicago, she and Wentz stopped by the Blender Sessions at the Hard Rock Hotel to celebrate Crobar Chicago co-owner Mike Matushcka's 40th birthday, reports Page Six. A jealous and possessive Ashlee stayed close to Wentz and wouldn't let other ladies get near her man. When foxy female Fall Out Boy fans tried to get their pics taken with the emo-tastic Wentz, Ashlee "got whiny and dragged him away," said a source.

Spencer's Five Point Plan to Rule the World

How has "Hills" Aryan supervillain Spencer Pratt managed to become a media phenomenon? Radar magazine thinks Pratt's got it down to a five point program. Bratty Pratt's master plan? Up your TV air time by becoming a controversial character. Then convince another show's star -- Heidi -- to settle down with you and -- then take over every aspect of her life. Next, start a public war with another one of the show's stars -- Lauren. Step four: Diss and drop your former BFF. Said Spencer of former friend Brody Jenner, "It's like Bush and Cheney, and you wouldn't see Cheney rolling with Bin Laden in the club." It might be good for Pratt to go to Afghanistan and see if he can roll with Bin Laden -- in the club.

And finally, if all else fails -- and hopefully, it will -- play the grandma card. Spencer says his grandma "wears a button with my face on it that says 'I'm Spencer Pratt's grandma.'" Poor woman!

Party Favors...Ed Harris Freaks Out ...

"Apollo 13" actor Ed Harris had a hissy fit at Heathrow Airport when he was asked to empty his pockets at a security checkpoint, reports the London Sun. He was then "held for hours by police for trying to take a knife onto a plane." Pointedly stupid.