Instead of Mariah Carey figuratively holding up Nick Cannon, it was Nick literally valiantly holding up Mariah on the set of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" yesterday.
Eminem called Mariah Carey a "f**king whore," called her hubby Nick Cannon a "punk" and joked about goin' pee-pee on Mimi -- so in comparison, this is probably the lamest attempt at a comeback ever.
Luckily for her, the tears were of the happy variety -- because Mariah Carey totally lost it when Nick Cannon played a tribute video for his sugar mama at their one-year wedding anniversary party at the Palms in Vegas.
While his sugar mama is off doing Lord knows what, Nick Cannon spent his day hanging out with SpongeBob SquarePants on top of the Empire State Building in NYC on Wednesday.
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were just involved in a minor car accident in L.A. -- apparently they're not hurt, because Mariah was healthy enough to Twitter about it.
Here's what Mariah posted on her page just moments ago:
MariahHBFOk: so this is why I don't drive,or get up early. Just got into a little car accident in la..but we're all ok. Neither of us were driving. -- 21 minutes ago from TwitterBerry
Nick Cannon thanked Mariah Carey for taking him to Barbados for her 40th birthday this weekend, by showing off his ridiculous ink and wearing an even more absurd pair of wide leg denim shorts/bathing suit thing.
Nothing says gangsta like a "Mariah" tat and women's culottes!
Nick Cannon claims he's getting Mariah Carey a "bald eagle" for her 40th birthday -- which means he's either locking down an endangered species ... or a razor for his no-no zone.
One baby with Mariah Carey would be his meal ticket for life -- but Nick Cannon says it'll be at least a "couple years" 'til she lets him knock her up.
It only took eight years, but last night at Mr. Chow, Mariah Carey finally received praise for her grossly under-appreciated work in the "Citizen Kane"-esque masterpiece that is "Glitter" -- but her appreciation was as sarcastic as the compliment.
Meanwhile, Nick proceeded to load his cougar into the back seat of the waiting SUV, which then chauffeured them away.
Doesn't look like the underwhelming-yet-overpriced sushi at Japonais did the trick for Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, 'cause right after, they parked right outside Slyder heaven -- White Castle.
Sadly, this was one trip without a cameo by Neil Patrick Harris.
It's something old people do. Mariah Carey and her hanger-on-hubby Nick Cannon haven't been married long enough to mimic each other's wardrobe, although Nick would sure look spiffy in those boots.
...and welcome to part 2 of "Celebs Using NY Emergency Vehicles to Get Around!" -- starring Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey! Who cares if there was one less working life-saving vehicle on the street last night outside Marquee, it matched the outfits!
It was all about lip service in the Thirty Mile Zone today -- with Lil' Wayne giving a nasty, homophobic kiss-off to a photog and Robert Pattinson nearly gettin' kissed on by a random drunk chick.
Also: Nick Cannon was incredibly outshone by his wife and one of New York's finest showed off their worst.
Harvey Levin TMZ is live with Ryan Seacrest right now - http://su.pr/3iEYoz#.
Kevin Pollak RT @MJMcKean Went to see The Box. Just felt like being by myself.
Lauren Conrad http://twitpic.com/p9ut4 - Somebody's home from her walk
Ryan Seacrest Ryanseacrest.com...got to "rock my town"RT @Ohmyjonas21: @ryanseacrest how does the free concert idol thing work? I read it but im confused
Ryan Seacrest Nice to meet uRT @musicluv_: @RyanSeacrest hi Ryan you were great...I tried to film you throw the football but it happened to fast!;)