Harvey Walden has worked with a lot of wannabeens on "Celebrity Fit Club" -- but there's one guy in particular he says belongs on Celebrity "Piece of S**t" Club.
The fatty in question: "Dustin Screech Dumb Ass Diamond," who Harvey despises soooo much, he threatened to "rip his head off and fill his throat with low fat yogurt."
We were all prepared to shred Dustin Diamond when we discovered he booked a comedy show at a small town pizza joint this past weekend -- turns out Screech is the one laughing ... all the way to the bank.
TMZ has learned the former "Saved by the Bell" dork got paid $2,000 for a 2-night stand-up gig at Listrani's -- a local pizza place-turned-comedy club in Arlington, Virginia.
Besides the paycheck, the pizza joint also forked over enough dough to cover ...
Lark Voorhies is calling total BS on the new Dustin Diamond rumors -- claiming she and her fellow "Saved by the Bell" alums aren't furious about Screech's new tell-all book ... because they have nothing to hide.
As for Diamond owing more than $21,000 in taxes -- the cast makes residuals from syndication, "he should be fine."
Dustin Diamond needs to be saved by the bill, as in dollar, because he's been accused of owing the Department of Revenue some serious cash.
We got a hold of a tax lien filed in January in Ozaukee County, Wisconsin -- showing Screech owes $21,015.62 in unpaid taxes. An Ozaukee County court clerk told us as of two days ago, it still hasn't been paid.
Elizabeth Berkley made our photog go temporary insane -- seriously -- and all it took was for her to sing a few bars of Jesse Spano, Lisa Turtle and Kelly Kapowski's workout smash "Go For It."
If this doesn't make you long for a Hot Sundaes reunion, you got a problem.
Seeing Zack Morris break out "Friends Forever" last night was beyond awesome. Watching Mr. Belding, a.k.a. Dennis Haskins, play peek-a-moob while trying to sing "Don't Stop Believin'" with an '80s cover band ... not so much.
Making matters worse: Steel Panther repeatedly called him "Mr. Belvedere."
Just like on "Saved by the Bell," Mr. Belding awkwardly forced himself into the lives of younger, more attractive people while in Las Vegas this weekend. Not even detention could have kept Beldy, 57, from appearing in every single SpyOnVegas photo taken at Body English -- whether he was gettin' down with hot girls or hamming it up with dudes.
Does anybody even know what Mr. Belding's real name is anymore?
His birth certificate may read Dennis Haskins, but this guy's got no problem being forever known as the Bayside High principal who busted Zack Morris trying to sneak a locker room peek at Kelly Kapowski.
"Saved by the Bell" principal Mr. Belding aka Dennis Haskins, exited the FOX Reality Really Awards in a giving mood -- spoon-feeding chocolate ice cream to a hungry photog! Gee, thanks, Mr. Belding!
The swelling Belding's a bit bigger than he was during his days at Bayside High. Is he dating a lunchroom lady?
No one quite knows why he was there. He's Mr. Belding. He roams the halls.
Each week, as Principal Belding on "Saved By the Bell," Dennis Haskins helped teach Zach and company right from wrong. On the streets of Hollywood last night, Haskins taught everyone a lesson in chivalry.
Our photogs caught the portly former principal outside of Koi, where he bought a handful of roses for a bevy of ladies. He picked up five, at $5 a piece, explaining, "My momma raised me right."
Trust fund gigolo Brody Jenner helped everyone's favorite early '90s syndicated TV emasculated high school principal with some much needed dough -- by giving "Saved by the Bell's" Mr. Belding $5 at Vegas' PURE nightclub on Friday! Spare some change?! Belding, aka actor Dennis Haskins, shouldn't feel too bad -- he now has $5 more than his "Bell" co-star, Dustin Diamond, aka Screech! And all without the help of a sex tape!
Harvey Levin You're not the only one who thinks T.O. isn't doing that well this season... http://su.pr/5bNNfP
Tila Tequila ok #tilaArmy good job! Ya'll put ur Commander in check & made sure I went to sleep!!! Whoopin my ass here! LOL...im in bed now. <3 u! nite!
John Mayer I'm gonna forage for food and listen to some Phil Hendrie podcasts. If you're not down with Hendrie you are missing out!
Tila Tequila So remember, #TilaArmy is LOYAL & We back each other up! We Help one another. We dont like 2-faced snitches! Announcement tomorrow! G'nite!
Tila Tequila Tomorrow I will be recruiting 500 more new #TilaArmy soldiers & kicking out a few snitches that I found in the Army. Snitches are Bitches.