Walking out to more applause than usual, David Letterman opened tonight's "Late Show" by taking three shots at himself in less than a minute!
Among the zingers, Dave told the audience, "I got into the car this morning and the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me."
Things take a more serious turn later in the monologue -- where Dave reportedly apologizes to his wife for his affairs. CBS is keeping that part under wraps until tonight.
TMZ has obtained photos of Holly Hester -- the woman who acknowledged she had a relationship with David Letterman in the early 1990s -- back when she worked as an intern for Dave.
The pics show Hester with segment producer Frank Gannon (top) and writer Joe Furey (bottom) and were taken in Dave's outer offices back when he was at NBC.
Hester said her relationship with Letterman lasted a year and that she was "madly in love with him."
The Manhattan DA's press conference over David Letterman's extortion case just ended -- and revealed Robert "Joe" Halderman was busted after he tried depositing his $2 million check. Which raises the question ... who takes a check?
Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau said three meetings were held between Halderman and Letterman's lawyers at the Essex House -- Dave was not present -- and at the 3rd meeting, the check was turned over to Halderman.
Morgenthau says Letterman's lawyer wore a wire -- and the last two meetings were audio taped.
Halderman deposited the check -- which was designed to bounce -- the next morning, yesterday, and was then arrested.
This is the man arrested for the $2 million extortion plot against David Letterman.
Robert "Joe" Halderman -- a well-respected producer for "48 Hours" -- was busted outside CBS headquarters in NYC for attempted grand larceny in the first degree.
Until recently Halderman was living with Stephanie Birkitt, Letterman's former assistant. We're told Letterman was having a relationship with Birkitt but ended it before his son was born in 2003.
We've learned Robert "Joe" Halderman was arrested yesterday outside the CBS headquarters in NYC, and it was news to the people inside who make the news.
Our sources say the Manhattan D.A. played the investigation close to the vest and people inside the building were baffled when the highly-respected producer was cuffed and hauled off in the David Letterman extortion case.
As we already reported Halderman had a relationship with Stephanie Birkitt and lived with her. But we're told they had broken up "recently." We do not know who ended the relationship, but Halderman allegedly was in possession of Birkitt's diary, correspondence and photos -- which he says incriminated Letterman.
People connected with the network tell us Letterman did have a relationship with Birkitt, but the word is that it ended before Letterman had his baby in 2003.
Rielle Hunter -- who had a child that John Edwards has denied is his -- was out this weekend with daughter Frances.
According to a book proposal submitted by an Edwards' aide, John allegedly promised Hunter once his wife died he'd throw a rooftop wedding featuring the Dave Matthews Band.
Sienna Miller went absolutely ballistic on some Australian radio DJ this morning -- blasting the guy for bringing up one hell of a touchy subject ... Balthazar Getty.
"The Fabulous" Adam Richard of Australia's "Matt & Jo Show" found an ingenious way to bring up Getty during an interview with Miller and co-star Rachel Nichols for their new movie -- and even though it was all over the phone, you can still see the fire in Sienna's eyes.
To her credit, Miller didn't hang up -- she stuck through it and finished the interview.
The Republican Governor of South Carolina just confirmed everyone's suspicions -- he went missing for five days because he was not-so-secretly cheating on his wife.
Gov. Mark Sanford just admitted to jetting over to Argentina to hook up with a woman who was not his wife -- and said the affair started about a year ago.
He asked for forgiveness from pretty much everyone, including his wife and 4 kids. He's resigned as chairman of the Republican Governors Association but did not resign as Governor of South Carolina.
He's got it bad, so bad -- is Jon from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" hot for teacher?
The reality television father of eight has allegedly been having an affair with a third grade teacher, Us Weekly is reporting. The two reportedly met at a bar back in mid-January.
The alleged other woman's brother tells the mag his sister is not a homewrecker, but adds this TMI detail -- "A lot of the time, it was pretty, um, gross listening to her, you know, um -- how do I say this? The walls are thin. Let's just say that. I mean, no one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who's, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife. Ick. Nast."
We got Kate Gosselin yesterday in New York -- where she kept quiet about the alleged "nast" hookup.
Though a rep, Jon told us, "These allegations are false and just plain hurtful. As I adjust to the the attention that comes from being in the public eye, I need to be more careful and aware of who I am associating with and where I am spending my time. But the bottom line is, I did not cheat on Kate. I am sorry for putting my family in this awkward position, given some poor decisions and bad judgements I've made recently. I am working through this difficult time with my family. My family is my top priority."
John Edwards' wife, Elizabeth, hurled in the bathroom after learning about her hubby's affair.
Elizabeth has written a book, "Resilience," and the New York Daily News got an advanced copy. Elizabeth says John fessed up just days after announcing his run for Prez.
The buzz we're hearing ... John literally won't go out of the house these days because he can't handle the reaction he gets. And Elizabeth is still with him.
UPDATE: 7:16 PM ET We just got the papers Mel's lawyer filed with the court, in which he said Mel believes he "cannot have a fair and impartial trial or hearing before Judge Ongkeko." The case has now been removed to Judge Frederick Shaller, but expect the whole case to be handled by a "private judge" -- and that should happen soon. Mel Gibson already has issues with his divorce -- at least his lawyer does.
We've learned ... Bob Kaufman, Mel's attorney, filed legal papers yesterday to boot the judge from the case -- Hon. Rafael Ongkeko. Each side is entitled to ding a judge from hearing the case, but that can only be done in the first 10 days. Your move Laura Wasser.
Here's the reality. The chances that a judge in the L.A. County Courthouse will actually hear Mel's divorce case are slim to none. That's because both Kaufman and Wasser almost always get a "private" judge to hear their high-profile cases, away from the public glare.
Both Mel Gibson and Russian singer Oksana Kolesnikova have already blasted affair rumors -- yesterday in L.A., a very upset Oksana insisted she's "happily married" -- and 4-months pregnant with her hubby's child.
There have been reports that Mel Gibson was having an affair with a Russian singer and that it played a part in the break up of his marriage -- Mel has denied it, and now the singer is sounding off too.
TMZ spoke with a rep for Oksana Kolesnikova, who gave us the following statement: "Sorry to hear about Mel Gibson's divorce. Somehow Oksana is being linked to Mr. Gibson, but there are no emotional ties between the two that I am aware of.
Oksana has in the past entertained Mr. Gibson with her piano music as he dined at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
Yes, I definitely welcome the opportunity to set the record straight, our Oksana is not romantically involved with Mr. Gibson."
LeAnn Rimes went into full-on damage control mode today, sucking face with her husband Dean Sheremet in public.
Of course, it's only been a few days since some scandalous footage hit the web, allegedly showing Rimes kissing her really hot Lifetime movie co-star Eddie Cibrian.
The woman who was injured in a car crash with Morgan Freeman last year claims the actor was boozing all over town before he got behind the wheel.
According to a lawsuit filed today in Mississippi federal court, Demaris Meyer claims on the night of the crash, she first met up with Freeman at dinner -- where she noticed "throughout the course of dinner and afterward drinks were consumed by Freeman."
Meyer then says she left dinner and met up with Freeman and others at a friend's home. She claims Freeman "had at least one more drink" while there. She claims Freeman then invited her to stay at his home for the night -- guaranteeing her not only her own bedroom, but her "own house." She says she agreed.
Meyer claims at around 11:30 PM, while Freeman drove her to his home, Morgan lost control of the car and "ran off of the right side of the highway." Meyer says she suffered a broken left wrist and right scapula, a torn labrum in her right shoulder and numerous bruises and lacerations.
At a press conference today, Meyer said she and Freeman were "just friends" -- despite widespread rumors that she was his mistress.
Meyer is suing for medical expenses, pain and suffering, lost wages, permanent disability (short term memory loss) and additional damages.
This is the man arrested for the $2 million extortion plot against David Letterman.
We've learned Robert "Joe" Halderman was arrested yesterday outside the CBS headquarters in NYC, and it was news to the people inside who make the news.
John Edwards' wife, Elizabeth, hurled in the bathroom after learning about her hubby's affair.
UPDATE: 7:16 PM ET We just got the papers Mel's lawyer filed with the court, in which he said Mel believes he "cannot have a fair and impartial trial or hearing before Judge Ongkeko." The case has now been removed to Judge Frederick Shaller, but expect the whole case to be handled by a "private judge" -- and that should happen soon.
There have been reports that Mel Gibson was having an affair with a Russian singer and that it played a part in the break up of his marriage -- Mel has denied it, and now the singer is sounding off too.
The woman who was injured in a car crash with Morgan Freeman last year claims the actor was boozing all over town before he got behind the wheel. 
