In an attempt to turn his contempt towards his "dickweed" neighbor into something comical, Ashton Kutcher thanked the construction workers below his house for putting off their hammering until well after 7:30 AM.
Doing his best John Cusack impression, Kutcher and Demi blasted Peter Gabriel, held up a sign reading "Free Hugs" and even chucked bottles of Vitamin Water down to the rooftop workers below.
With his tail firmly tucked between his legs, a substantially calmer Ashton Kutcher got back in front of his webcam just minutes ago and apologized for verbally bashing his "dickweed ... jackass" of a neighbor over today's early morning hammering incident.
Ashton Kutcher went absolutely insane when he was woken up by a neighbor who started construction on a house at 7:30 in the morning.
Kutcher got a camera and taped the explosion -- it's an instant classic.
Ashton has been blogging updates on the situation all morning -- here are the unedited highlights ... with spelling errors and all:
-- this SOB owl feces cougar placenta jack bone dick! -- Jack ass 7am building a goddamn fort next to my house f'in up my view and noise polluting the entire f'in neighborhood with pounding steal -- holy moly I'm gonna lose it! -- this ass clown has another thing coming! -- I'm gonna kill my neighbor!
Demi also fired off some shots on her website as well -- here are those unedited gems:
-- calm and gentle baby you can pull out the paint gun later! -- baby keep it together there should only be another 5 months of this. -- the neighbor doing consruction with 6 guys pounding hammers against steel at 7am is no way to wake up!
The man who is building the house that caused Ashton Kutcher to melt down says the actor is acting "silly."
Bruce Goldsmith, a screenwriter, says he's "startled" that Kutcher went crazy this morning at 7:30 AM, complaining of noise at Goldsmith's construction site.
Goldsmith was quick to point out the city of L.A. allows him to start construction at 7:00 AM, and that Ashton "just doesn't want to deal with reality." Goldsmith says Ashton, who called him a "dickweed," a "jackass" and "owl feces cougar placenta," is "out of line." As Goldsmith says, "they don't make hammers covered with rubber."
Goldsmith finds it somewhat ironic that the house Kutcher lives in was built over a ten year period and neighbors had to deal with the noise.
He adds Kutcher has been pleasant in the past but has complained, with Goldsmith telling him he "can't do anything about the noise." He's been building the house for six months.