Anyone asking for marriage advice from Jon Gosselin must be crazier than Kate's hairstylist, but yesterday at the airport in Hawaii, a photog did just that.
Our advice: Listen to what he has to say ... and just do the opposite.
Sources connected with the TLC/Jon Gosselin legal war tell TMZ ... TLC lawyers are watching lots of TV these days, keeping tabs on Jon's appearances so they can run a tab on how much money he's raking in.
TLC is going to court next month ... asking a judge for an order prohibiting the never-met-a-camera-I-didn't-like-provided-you-pay-me dad from doing appearances without TLC's prior approval.
TLC filed legal papers in support of the injunction on October 27, claiming Jon is breaching his "Jon & Kate Plus 8" contract.
According to the contract, Jon is prohibited from doing "any media including any online or print...without the Company's or Producer's prior written consent."
Jon might get in the Guinness Book for the number of times he's violated that clause.
Breaking up is hard to do -- but after taking a long, hard look at the D-Bag he's become, Jon Gosselin has finally decided to part ways with his hair gel, Michael Lohan and best of all, Ed Hardy.
Unfortunately it's all for a FunnyOrDie sketch, so we're guessing the rhinestoned tigers will be back.
When Michael Lohan returns home from his trip to Boston this weekend, he'll have a present waiting for him -- courtesy of the lawyers at TLC.
Lohan tells TMZ he has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's breach of contract lawsuit against Jon Gosselin. Lohan says he was contacted by a process server on Friday. He says he told the process server he was out of town, but that he accepts the papers and that she can leave them at his house.
Michael says he hasn't seen the papers yet.
TLC is suing Gosselin, claiming he broke his deal with TLC when he began taking money to appear on other shows and talking about "Jon & Kate" without proper permission.
Like the drill sergeant of a pocket-size army, Kate Gosselin went off on 6 of her tiny troops yesterday when they refused to stand still and be quiet after getting off the school bus.
When one of her 5-year-olds rebelled with a few insubordinate dance moves, Kate was heard snapping "This is the kind of stuff you cannot be doing when you are five years old. Stand quietly ... Stop your feet and don't move them."
As an extra threat, Kate added "If I wasn't here you'd still be standing in the parking lot waiting."
So a rabbi and a d-bag walk into a building ... We got Jon and Rabbi Shmuley -- Michael Jackson's former "spiritual advisor" -- heading into New York City's West Side Jewish Center last night, where they held a public dialogue in an attempt to make Jon look like less of a scumbag.
Inside, Jon reportedly apologized to Kate -- who wasn't there -- for "openly having relationships in the public eye" after their split, adding "if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off."
Mother Goose has officially been roped into the war between "Jon & Kate" -- because Jon Gosselin's attorney just busted out some lines from a nursery rhyme to insult Kate outside of today's hearing.
According to Jon's lawyer, Kate is "like the old lady who lived in a shoe" ... but really lives in a glass house or something.
Jon Gosselin may be on the hunt for a new lawyer soon, because we've learned the person who sponsored New York attorney Mark Heller to appear on Gosselin's behalf in Pennsylvania has formally made a motion with the court to withdraw his support.
Attorney Mike Marino filed his motion today, saying he wants to wash his hands of the whole case. Marino told us he had never had contact with Heller until Mr. Heller found him in a legal directory, cold called him and asked Marino to sponsor him for a one-time-only case -- Jon vs. Kate.
Marino says he had never heard of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" when he agreed to sponsor Heller. As Marino put it, "I don't watch that kind of junk on TV."
The judge will schedule a hearing on Marino's motion. We also learned Marino sent the judge a letter last week requesting out of the whole case.
If Heller doesn't find a new sponsor, he can't practice in PA.
In football, if both teams commit a penalty on the same play, they just do the play over. Does the same thing apply when Jon and Kate Gosselin both allegedly violate a court order?
A few days after Kate claimed Jon raided their joint bank account (a legal no-no), Jon filed papers of his own claiming she did the same. According to the papers filed last week, Jon claims Kate withdrew over $60,000 from their joint account between July and September 2009.
He also claims she took out over $1 million from February 2008 to June 2009 that have not been properly accounted for.
Sources connected to Kate contend her withdrawals were legal and note that Jon withdrew $230,000 without the necessary permission required by the arbitrator. Both sides are due back in court on Tuesday.
Looks like Jon Gosselin won the birthday battle against Kate -- because instead of leaving at 6pm, he just told us he'll be staying 'til he can "put my kids to bed."
After the celebration, Jon came out to get some face time with his BFFs, the paps -- saying he and Kate made it "cordial" for the twins on their birthday ... and there's no way he'd be spending the night.
The Jon & Kate battle never ends -- and a war is brewing over tomorrow's birthday festivities for twins Mady and Cara.
We just got a pissed Papa Gosselin in NYC, where he actually whipped out his BlackBerry and read a new e-mail from Kate aloud -- one saying she refuses to see him and wants to limit his time with the kids on Thursday to only two hours.
Jon says the duo had originally planned to have a party together, but according to the e-mail, Kate now believes "Due to recent events, it'll be too stressful."
Jon called her demands "ridiculous," adding "I can stay as long as I want ... and I will."
Jon Gosselin might be as sick of seeing himself on TV as everyone else -- because last night in NYC he said he was done with reality shows for good.
Jon was rumored to be working on a show with Michael Lohan called "Divorced Dads" ... so if that means LiLo's dad won't be popping up soon on TV either, consider this the best news ever.
Call off the lawyers -- Jon Gosselin claims he never took any money from the bank account he shares with Kate. We just talked to Jon at LAX, where he straight up denied jacking the $230,000 Kate claims is missing from their joint account by saying, "I never took any money."
A judge is still mulling over whether or not Jon violated a court order in his divorce by allegedly making the massive withdrawals without getting Kate's consent first. We expect a decision tomorrow, after a court hearing. Stay tuned ...