When Michael Lohan returns home from his trip to Boston this weekend, he'll have a present waiting for him -- courtesy of the lawyers at TLC.
Lohan tells TMZ he has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's breach of contract lawsuit against Jon Gosselin. Lohan says he was contacted by a process server on Friday. He says he told the process server he was out of town, but that he accepts the papers and that she can leave them at his house.
Michael says he hasn't seen the papers yet.
TLC is suing Gosselin, claiming he broke his deal with TLC when he began taking money to appear on other shows and talking about "Jon & Kate" without proper permission.
An Indiana prisoner claims his swimmers are responsible for Kate Gosselin's eight AND Octomom Nadya Suleman's latest litter ... and now he wants his supposed spawn to come live with him in lockdown.
In the most entertaining handwritten court papers you'll ever read, Jonathan Lee Riches -- who has filed many lawsuits against celebs in the past -- wants custody of the Gosselin kids, the Suleman kids, John Edwards' love child, all the kids on "ABC's 'All My Children'" and Bristol Palin's child "which Bristol kidnapped from Linda Tripp."
In the awesome papers, filed in Illinois, Riches claims he met Kate "at a Harrisburg Long John Silvers over octopuss" -- and when Kate went to a fertility clinic in 2002, his "sperm was added to the mix."
Like the drill sergeant of a pocket-size army, Kate Gosselin went off on 6 of her tiny troops yesterday when they refused to stand still and be quiet after getting off the school bus.
When one of her 5-year-olds rebelled with a few insubordinate dance moves, Kate was heard snapping "This is the kind of stuff you cannot be doing when you are five years old. Stand quietly ... Stop your feet and don't move them."
As an extra threat, Kate added "If I wasn't here you'd still be standing in the parking lot waiting."
So a rabbi and a d-bag walk into a building ... We got Jon and Rabbi Shmuley -- Michael Jackson's former "spiritual advisor" -- heading into New York City's West Side Jewish Center last night, where they held a public dialogue in an attempt to make Jon look like less of a scumbag.
Inside, Jon reportedly apologized to Kate -- who wasn't there -- for "openly having relationships in the public eye" after their split, adding "if she would've done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off."
Jon Gosselin and Octomom may be starring in an upcoming reality show from hell -- but the show's producers are convinced the "two biggest media sensations of our generation" are the next John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
TMZ obtained a copy of the pitch for "Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom" which reads: "Mohammed and the Mountain started a religion. Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris started a Yankee dynasty. Lennon and McCartney started a music revolution. Now Jon and Octomom start a whole new reality in the world of Reality TV."
The pitch claims the show's so revolutionary it will rival "American Idol" in the ratings, but "there will be no rival in the shocking nature of this pairing."
As for Israel and Palestine? The producers think the show might give hope to the two warring nations -- which makes sense, because the enemy of your enemy is always your friend.
Sick of seeing Kate Gosselin? Too bad, she wants to be in the movies!
During last night's "Jon & Kate Plus 8" special, Kate announced her ambition to take over Hollywood -- but just in case that lofty dream doesn't pay off, she said there's already money put aside for the kids' college funds ... and nobody (i.e. Jon) can use it for anything else.
On the bright side: The mother of 8 also said she doesn't plan on getting married again soon.
Mother Goose has officially been roped into the war between "Jon & Kate" -- because Jon Gosselin's attorney just busted out some lines from a nursery rhyme to insult Kate outside of today's hearing.
According to Jon's lawyer, Kate is "like the old lady who lived in a shoe" ... but really lives in a glass house or something.
Kate Gosselin's lawyer just released a statement regarding the judge's decision this morning to force Jon to hand over the cash he ripped out of the couple's joint bank account a few weeks ago:
"We are clearly pleased that the monies taken by Mr. Gosselin have been returned to the marital account, and we look forward to recouping additional monies taken by Mr. Gosselin at the time of the parties' private arbitration hearings.
A total of at least $235,000 was taken by Mr. Gosselin, and despite his initial comments denying responsibility, we have established that Ms. Gosselin needed emergency relief to prevent her economic claims from being compromised."
Kate was not at court in Pennsylvania for today's proceedings -- her lawyer explained that she was not required to be there in person ... she was only required to provide a "complete accounting of funds" ... which she did.
TMZ has learned at 1:23 PM ET -- 30 minutes ago from the time of this post -- Kate Gosselin's lawyers received an email from Jon Gosselin's Pennsylvania lawyer stating that he has $152,000 from Jon that will repay Kate for the money he looted from the joint account.
As we first reported, the judge in the case ordered Jon to repay $180,000 -- Jon has already repaid $28,000 so the balance is $152,000.
Under the terms of the judge's order, Jon is required to wire the money to Kate's lawyers. That has not been done yet.
Kate's lawyer, Mark Momjian, tells TMZ if he gets the money today he'll cancel the court hearing on Monday.
There's another $55,000 in dispute. Jon says Kate had no right to take the money. Kate says she spent it on household matters. The arbitrator will decide who's right at a later date.
Jon Gosselin may be on the hunt for a new lawyer soon, because we've learned the person who sponsored New York attorney Mark Heller to appear on Gosselin's behalf in Pennsylvania has formally made a motion with the court to withdraw his support.
Attorney Mike Marino filed his motion today, saying he wants to wash his hands of the whole case. Marino told us he had never had contact with Heller until Mr. Heller found him in a legal directory, cold called him and asked Marino to sponsor him for a one-time-only case -- Jon vs. Kate.
Marino says he had never heard of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" when he agreed to sponsor Heller. As Marino put it, "I don't watch that kind of junk on TV."
The judge will schedule a hearing on Marino's motion. We also learned Marino sent the judge a letter last week requesting out of the whole case.
If Heller doesn't find a new sponsor, he can't practice in PA.
T.G.I.F. -- Harvey and Mike answered your questions on everything today, including Lindsay Lohan getting another year of probation, the Balloon Boy family's reality TV aspirations and Jon Gosselin's TLC lawsuit.
Kate Gosselin tells TMZ she is "disturbed" by reports that Jon has hacked into her emails and other personal accounts.
Kate's rep says "Kate Gosselin has heard the allegations made by Stephanie Santoro that Jon Gosselin 'hacked' into her emails, phone, and online accounts, and she is profoundly disturbed by them."
The rep continues, "Under the circumstances, Ms. Gosselin is carefully considering all of her legal options regarding this matter, and she will pursue them if and when the time is right."
Harvey Levin You're not the only one who thinks T.O. isn't doing that well this season... http://su.pr/5bNNfP
Tila Tequila ok #tilaArmy good job! Ya'll put ur Commander in check & made sure I went to sleep!!! Whoopin my ass here! LOL...im in bed now. <3 u! nite!
John Mayer I'm gonna forage for food and listen to some Phil Hendrie podcasts. If you're not down with Hendrie you are missing out!
Tila Tequila So remember, #TilaArmy is LOYAL & We back each other up! We Help one another. We dont like 2-faced snitches! Announcement tomorrow! G'nite!
Tila Tequila Tomorrow I will be recruiting 500 more new #TilaArmy soldiers & kicking out a few snitches that I found in the Army. Snitches are Bitches.
When Michael Lohan returns home from his trip to Boston this weekend, he'll have a present waiting for him -- courtesy of the lawyers at TLC.
Kate Gosselin was speeding in her SUV with the kids on board last Thursday, according to a Pennsylvania trooper who spoke with TMZ.
Kate Gosselin's lawyer just released a statement regarding the judge's decision this morning to force Jon to hand over the cash he ripped out of the couple's joint bank account a few weeks ago:
Kate Gosselin tells TMZ she is "disturbed" by reports that Jon has hacked into her emails and other personal accounts.
