Barstool Pres Dave Portnoy Tom Brady Leaving Pats ... 'The World May Be Ending!!!'

THE END OF AN ERA
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Barstool Sports president Dave Portnoy is coming to terms with the fact Tom Brady is no longer a New England Patriot ... and he's convinced this could be the end of the world as we know it.

Remember, El Pres told TMZ Sports less than a month ago ... "Anybody who says (Brady's) going anywhere is an idiot!!" ... and obviously, TB12's leaving.

2/27/20
THERE'S NO WAY!
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We reconnected with Portnoy in wake of the news on Tuesday ... and despite the devastating news, the guy is actually taking it well.

"I wasn’t stunned," Dave tells us. "I thought he would come back to New England, because I think we offer him the best chance to win ... it’s sad, it’s the end of an era."

"This is the real world. We got corona running wild in the streets, things happen. So, Brady’s leaving the Patriots. Crazy times. .. the world may be ending."

Pres makes it clear he still LOVES Brady and isn't pissed he's leaving the Pats ... but believes TB12 just ain't a franchise QB anymore.

"If you’re a Patriots fan and you care about winning in the next 10 years, this is the right move … if you only care about the next 2, then you probably want Brady."

Portnoy says he believes in Bill Belichick and likes the Pats' chances of winning a title before TB12 (regardless of which team he chooses) ... but his love for Brady will live on.

As for Brady's replacement?? Portnoy's got a guy in mind -- and the dude once defeated TB12 at the highest level.

"I'd love to get 'Big D**k' Nick Foles ... that would be full circle. That would get me so fired up."

DeAndre Hopkins Traded To Cards For David Johnson ... What Is Bill O'Brien Doing?!?!

The best receiver in the NFL was just traded ... for a 28-year-old running back!?!?

Yup, that just happened ... DeAndre Hopkins was sent packing from the Texans to the Cardinals for David Johnson -- and it's got everybody wondering, WHAT THE HELL IS BILL O'BRIEN DOING?!

The stud receiver -- a 27-year-old, 3-time All-Pro who was on a VERY team-friendly deal -- was traded along with a 4th-round pick just minutes into the league's legal tampering window Monday.

And, in return, O'Brien's Texans reportedly received Johnson, a 2nd-rounder this year and a fourth-rounder next year ... and the move is being universally panned on social media.

As for why ... if you're unfamiliar, Johnson has just 1,308 rushing yards in the last 3 seasons combined -- and was benched last year in Arizona in favor of Kenyan Drake.

Hopkins, meanwhile, has recorded at least 96 catches and 1,165 receiving yards in each of the past 3 years.

Yeah, not a great look for the Texans!!

Also, you'll recall ... O'Brien was the architect behind the trades that cost the Texans two first-round picks (in the Laremy Tunsil swap), and JaDeveon Clowney this past season.

YIKES!

Vegas Strip Club Coronavirus-Free Lap Dances ... Is That a Promise???

Las Vegas strip clubs are NOT going the way of the city's nightclubs ... they're staying open for now, and one joint is even using "coronavirus" -- kinda confusingly -- to attract customers.

Little Darlings is shouting it out to the world on an electronic billboard -- "Coronavirus-Free Lap Dances," next to a sexy image of a dancer. Now, pardon the phrase ... but on its surface it certainly seems like a great deal!!!

We mean, who wouldn't want a lap dance ... hold-the-virus??

Then again, in these times, they should probably be clearer. One COULD read that sign as FREE lap dances in the coronavirus-era. Or, worst case scenario, FREE lap dances IF you have coronavirus. People see what they wanna see ... just sayin'.

As we told you, Little Darlings and other strip joints also tried to attract customers last week by offering free hand sanitizer bottles and such. So, the club's obviously leaning into the panic.

Then again, even if you do read the billboard as we believe it's intended -- ya gotta wonder ... is that a legally binding promise to customers that they won't contract the virus from Little Darlings??

We smell a lawsuit ... and hand sanitizer. Lots of sanitizer.

UFC's Michael Bisping Raves About Fanless UFC Fight Card ... It Was 'Fantastic!'

THE SHOW GOES ON
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UFC legend Michael Bisping seems pretty fired up about the organization's decision to hold fan-less fights during the coronavirus pandemic ... telling TMZ Sports the first event in Brazil was a smash hit!

"The fights were fantastic! They were really good," Bisping told us when he arrived back at LAX from Brazil.

"We've done it before. It's like 'The Ultimate Fighter,' 'The Contender,' there's not much difference. Obviously, there was no crowd so it wasn't the same. But, the fights were fantastic. They delivered."

Bisping was one of the few people allowed into the Ginásio Nilson Nelson arena in Brasília, Brazil on March 14 ... since he served as the event's color commentator and post-fight interviewer.

There was criticism surrounding the event -- with some people saying Dana White should have pulled the plug on the whole thing in the wake of coronavirus warnings from health officials.

But, the fights continued ... and WILL continue ... with UFC actively trying to find a way to hold ANOTHER big event on Saturday.

The location and the fighters on the card are still being determined -- but stay tuned on that.

Pro Rugby Player Banned 10 Weeks Over Crotch Grab ... 'Act Of Foul Play'

A pro rugby player in England won't be hitting the pitch for the next TWO AND A HALF MONTHS ... and it's all 'cause he grabbed and pinched some dude's junk in a game.

A disciplinary committee announced the 10-week suspension Thursday ... saying when Joe Marler inappropriately squeezed a player's genitals in a Six Nations Championship match last week -- he "committed an act of foul play."

If ya missed it ... Marler -- a stud player for English rugby squad Harlequin F.C. -- reached down and fondled an opponent's crotch in the Wales vs. England tilt on March 7.

You can see in footage of the incident ... the victim was NOT happy about the grab -- and tried to point out the illegal squeeze to the refs.

At a hearing this week ... a disciplinary committee announced 29-year-old Marler will not be allowed to play again until June 8 -- but did say he has the right to appeal.

Marler tweeted -- and then deleted -- about the incident a day after it went down, writing "Bollocks. Complete bollocks."

FYI, it was a pretty good deal for Marler all things considered ... because he was facing up to a 4-YEAR ban for the move.

Marler is one of the better rugby players in England ... reportedly earning more than 60 caps in his international rugby career.

DaBaby Sued for Vicious Concert Slap ... Alleged Victim Says He's Gotta Pay!!!

DaBaby just got slapped back ... with a lawsuit from the woman who claims the rapper smacked the hell outta her at a recent concert.

Tyronesha Laws just filed the suit, claiming she was minding her own damn business when the rapper, "suddenly and without any warning," lashed out and brutally and violently struck her in the face last weekend during his Tampa gig.

THE BRUTAL SLAP

In docs, obtained by TMZ, Tyronesha says she was in the crowd of concertgoers waiting for DB to take the stage. She says he did not simply walk on the stage to begin his performance, and instead, proceeded through the crowd with his entourage, and "without incident." Until he got to her.

She claims DaBaby expressed no remorse for his slap and points out the rapper made fun of the situation on social media when he posted a skit featuring comedian Michael Blackson.

NO PICTURES!

Laws' attorneys, Matt Morgan and Chelsea Cromer of Morgan and Morgan, say the incident was "outrageous and shocking." Her legal team added, "Our goal is to deter similar conduct in the future and send a message that this type of behavior is not tolerated in America."

FEELIN' LET DOWN
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Remember, Tyronesha told us she was NOT the person who put a phone right in DaBaby's face. She insists she was standing next to the person who did that when DB unleashed his anger.

On the other hand, DB's lawyer, Drew Findling, told us Laws is NOT the person his client slapped and added alleged victims are coming out of the woodwork.

Laws is suing for battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress and other damages. We've reached out to DaBaby, so far, no word back.

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