Area 51 Raiders Have a Bumpy Road Ahead ... Desert Cops & Critters

If you're one of the 1 million-plus people planning on storming Area 51 later this year -- you might wanna rethink that ... 'cause it ain't gonna be a walk in the park.

Law enforcement sources in the Nevada area -- where the notorious U.S. Air Force base is located -- tell TMZ that all the agencies that need to be aware of a potential raid on the premises are briefed and prepared for folks who might wanna try something come September.

The viral Facebook event caught fire last week with more than a million RSVPers who say they're down to head out there on Sept. 20 ... in hopes of learning the truth about alleged captured aliens on the base. 

We're told the right people are monitoring all this online chatter about a potential raid, and the way the powers that be see it -- anyone who tries to follow through will be met with serious obstacles.

First and foremost, we're told anyone who commits a crime in or around Area 51 -- including trespassing -- will be arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of local and military law. Our sources also tell us local cops will work together to curb any attempts to even wander near Area 51 property .. and they're prepared to use non-lethal force, such as tear gas and pepper spray.  

There are also natural hurdles folks will have to overcome. The route to get to Area 51 follows a narrow two-lane highway about 3 hours outside of Las Vegas ... and the terrain is rough to say the least. It's not really suited to withstand tens of thousands of cars. 

If cops and the landscape don't stop ya, the desert critters just might -- the terrain surrounding Area 51 is full of snakes, scorpions and other dangerous animals.

Long story short ... the truth might be out there, but seeking it could cost you dearly.

Jada Pinkett Smith I Was A Porn Addict ... Before Big Willie

HARDER THAN YOU THINK
Red Table Talk

Jada Pinkett Smith is coming clean about one of her past addictions ... she says she couldn't stop watching PORN before starting a relationship with Will Smith.

Jada made the stunning revelation in Monday's "Red Table Talk" episode ... opening up about her "unhealthy relationship" with porn and saying she couldn't get enough adult videos when she was single and trying to practice abstinence.

The 47-year-old actress started talking porn with her daughter, Willow, and mother, Adrienne Banfield Norris, at the start of the show as they were all getting ready together backstage ... gotta be an awkward convo for any family.

Willow asks her momma if her porn fixation came from an emotional place ... and Jada says that's exactly what happened. Jada, who's been married to Will for almost 22 years, says she was feeling an emptiness when she got hooked on porn.

Monday's talk was about the effects of porn on relationships ... and Jada says she used to watch some hardcore videos she says were "profoundly disturbed."

Jordyn Woods I Went to Jada ... Because Kardashians Were Out to Ruin Me

Jordyn Woods feels her life is ruined because she's no match when it comes to the wrath of the Kardashians ... so she went to Jada Pinkett Smith because she felt she'd get a fair shake to tell her story.

Sources tell TMZ ... Jordyn believes the Kardashians -- especially Kim -- can break her in every way -- professionally, socially and monetarily. We're told she's been "despondent" since we broke the story she hooked up with Tristan Thompson. She feels like she has a Scarlet Letter plastered on her forehead.

As for going to Jada ... Jordyn is like family to the Smiths ... she calls Will her uncle. She feels Jada is one of the most nonjudgmental people she knows, and she has a huge platform on the "Red Table Talk" Facebook show.

We're told Jordyn wanted to tell her story and express her regrets.

TMZ broke the story ... the Kardashians will be watching the show when it drops Friday. As we reported, Jordyn signed an NDA when she started appearing on 'KUWTK' ... and if she crosses them, they're ready to pounce.

LAPD Shades New Orleans ... You Were Robbed?!?

How's the LAPD celebrating that Rams victory over the Saints? THEY'RE TALKING TRASH!!!

Right after that controversial ending in the NFC championship game, the LAPD reached out to their Nawlins counterparts on social media with some epic smack talk over that non-pass interference call that cost the Saints the game.

"Sounds like our friends at [The New Orleans PD] might be dealing with some robbery complaints after the #LARams⁠ ⁠defeated the @Saints," the LAPD said on Twitter.

"We would help investigate but A) it’s outside our jurisdiction, and B) we just don’t see enough evidence of a crime."

Translation -- SUCKS TO BE YOU!!

That's not all ... some people in New Orleans are so pissed off about the referee situation, that a local optometrist is offering free eye exams to all NFL zebras!

"We will GLADLY provide no cost eye exams to all NFL officials prior to next season to prevent the atrocity that occurred tonight," Louisiana Family Eyecare posted on its Facebook page.

"We would hate for someone else to feel our pain."

Anyway ... GO RAMS!!!

Lisa Van Allen Alleged R. Kelly Victim Opens Up to Jada Pinkett ... Sheds Tears Telling Her Story

IT'S SO GOOD TO BE HEARD
Red Table Talk

Jada Pinkett Smith, along with her daughter Willow and mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones, had a heart-to-heart with one of R. Kelly's alleged victims ... and things got very emotional.

Jada had Lisa Van Allen on the latest addition of her Facebook series, "Red Table Talk," to talk about her history with the singer ... who, as you know, is surrounded by controversy and allegations of sexual abuse and child pornography in the wake of Lifetime's docuseries, "Surviving R. Kelly."

Lisa says she feels like a weight's been lifted from her now that she's able to open up, and she shed some light on how her life became intertwined with Kelly's. Her claims are disturbing.

She explains that her rough childhood and other difficulties led her to connect with Kelly and view him as her "knight in shining armor," which is why she overlooked his abuse and other suspicions for years.

The ladies described it as his way of luring her in, and Van Allen also gives a troubling account of how controlling he was.

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Earlier in the show, both Jada and Willow also opened up about how they had heard the rumors about Kelly and had their own suspicions.

Jada even said she feels complicit for ignoring the allegations against Kelly, and brought up how as recently as September, she and Will used Kelly's famous track, "I Believe I Can Fly," for a video of Will bungee jumping.

Jada and the women in her family are clearly making up for it now, though, and have vowed to continue to help out R. Kelly's alleged victims. Part two of this episode with Van Allen is expected to air soon.

Danielle Bregoli Snapchat IS TV Now, Bhabie!!! Oh, and 'F*** Facebook'

FACE THE FACTS, FACEBOOK
TMZ.com

Danielle Bregoli is REALLY excited about teaming up with Snapchat for her new show ... and maybe even more excited about sticking it to good OLD Facebook.

We got Bhad Bhabie leaving the Valley Inn Restaurant in Sherman Oaks Monday night, where our photog congratulated her on her reality series. As we first reported, she inked a 12-episode deal for a 12-episode show called "Bringing Up Bhabie."

She's definitely all in. 15-year-old BB declares Snapchat and Instagram are her generation's go-to social media hub, and slams Facebook as the toast of the older crowd. She kinda went off on a hilarious FB bashing jag.

Danielle might be too young to know this, but Facebook bought IG in 2012 for a cool billion -- so, it's still cashing in, obviously.

Whatever. Facts, schmacts. Bhad Bhabie's trying to make a point here!

Stars Show Support on Social Media For TimesUp Protest -- #BelieveSurvivors

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'Star Trek' Star Brent Spiner Check Your Data ... I Don't Look Like Zuckerberg!!

NOT COMPUTING
TMZ.com

Mark Zuckerberg's been getting the meme treatment for supposedly looking like a 'Star Trek' character -- ever since he testified to Congress -- but the actor himself doesn't see it.

We got Brent Spiner Monday in Malibu where we asked if he'd seen the hilarious Zuck memes putting him on the 'Next Generation' set as the android, Data.

Brent admits both his character and the Facebook CEO appear to stay out of the sun, but he ain't buying they're dead ringers or long-lost relatives.

Then again ... it's hard to tell if Brent's trolling us here with his answer -- especially because he was definitely trolling our photog on a bunch of things, including the proper pronunciation of Data.

But c'mon, Brent. You're Zuck's role model, admit it!

Mark Zuckerberg Holocaust Deniers Can Stay on FB ...

Mark Zuckerberg is coming under fire for refusing to ban Holocaust deniers on Facebook.

The FB CEO made the controversial statement in an interview with tech site Redcode, in which he says ... "I’m Jewish, and there’s a set of people who deny that the Holocaust happened." He goes on ... "I find that deeply offensive. But at the end of the day, I don’t believe that our platform should take that down because I think there are things that different people get wrong. I don’t think that they’re intentionally getting it wrong ..."

Zuck elaborated a bit more, saying it's difficult to "impugn" and "understand" the deniers' intent ... and continued to chalk up their message as just missing the mark on the truth.

Twitter, meanwhile, was up in arms over his thoughts on censorship -- or a lack thereof -- calling his position spineless and supportive of conspiracy theories and fake news.

Free speech is a hot topic these days in the country. Case in point ... this.

Mark Zuckerberg Big Ballin' With Roger Goodell ... In Idaho

Here's a glimpse into what summer camp would look like if you had a boatload of money ...

Mark Zuckerberg, Roger Goodell, Robert Kraft and a whole host of rich people converged on Sun Valley Resort in Idaho this week to have talks about what rich people should do with their riches next.

The camp -- Allen & Co.'s annual invite-only business conference -- has been credited with helping lay the bricks for huge deals like Disney's merger with ABC and Verizon's acquisition of Yahoo! in the past.

Sooo ... what can we read into seeing Kraft, Goodell, Zuckerberg and ex-Steelers coach Bill Cowher all being in attendance??

Probably not much ... the conference is said to include golf and even white-water rafting outside of the mogul elbow-rubbing.

So, yeah ... a little different than your summer camps, huh?

Christian Slater 'Mr. Robot' Predicted Hackings But, the Future Looks ...

NOT FAR FROM REALITY
TMZ.com

Christian Slater makes no bones about it ... "Mr. Robot" anticipated the Facebook and Russian hacking scandals 3 years ago, and the world is just now catching on to it. Too little, too late?

We got Christian Tuesday at LAX, and asked him about the eerie comparisons between his hit show, which tackles the dangers of cybersecurity ... and the recent plague of high-profile hackings of political, retail and social media platforms.

Christian -- who plays Mr. Robot, the "fsociety" hacktivist leader -- credits the show's creator, Sam Esmail, for having the vision back in 2015 when the show premiered. He also gives him props for scaring the crap outta us.

Not to worry, Christian says the future's not totally doomed. Or so he thinks.

Mark Zuckerberg 44 Senators Later ... Cruz Throws Political Punch

APRIL 2018
POLITICALLY SPEAKING ...
Washington Post

Mark Zuckerberg got an intense, lengthy grilling Tuesday from dozens of senators, and none was more demanding -- and political -- than Sen. Ted Cruz.

Most senators asked Zuck about privacy and data-related issues, but Sen. Cruz decided to hammer the CEO over the alleged censorship of conservative-themed FB pages. At one point, Cruz asked if the honcho's company took note of its employees' political views, to which Zuckerberg said no.

But, then Cruz asked about a specific employee getting fired -- presumably because he leaned right. Zuckerberg refused to elaborate, but safe to say Cruz got under the Harvard dropout's skin.

MZ will be back Wednesday for round 2 on Capitol Hill.

BTW ... Zuck had a pretty thick cushion under his butt during more than 4 hours of testifying. Maybe he needed the extra comfort, or maybe -- at 5'7" -- he just needed a boost.

Probably both.

Kevin O'Leary On Facebook Breach ... Users Don't Give A Rats Ass!!!

DATA SHMATA!
TMZ.com

Kevin O'Leary straight-up says 99 percent of Facebook users don't give a damn about its data breach crisis ... and business will continue as usual in no time.

We got the "Shark Tank" star leaving Craig's Monday night and wanted to get his take on whether Facebook's latest scandal will bring down the social media giant. Kevin's adamant ... FB will NOT go down after it shockingly announced more than 87 million users -- mostly in the U.S. -- had their personal data improperly accessed by the data-mining firm Cambridge Analytica.

Kevin says it's simple ... a whole new generation simply couldn't give a crap.

He's also got strong feelings about the Capitol Hill hearings. Ya know ... the one Mark Zuckerberg got dolled up for.

Mark Zuckerberg I Be on My Suit & Tie For Capitol Hill Grilling

SUIT & TIE
TMZ.com

Y'know Mark Zuckerberg's in some serious s**t when he ditches his hoodies and t-shirts.

The Facebook honcho went traditional biz attire -- dark suit, blue tie -- as he showed up on Capitol Hill Monday morning for meetings with lawmakers. We asked him about the change in attire. As they say, wait for it ... you've gotta see his reaction at the end of the video.

Zuck is scheduled to testify this week for Senate and Congressional committees looking into the Facebook privacy scandal. FB's been under fire because the data of 87 million users was allegedly accessed to influence the 2016 presidential election.

The company's execs say they have a plan to avoid a repeat, but politicians want to grill Zuckerberg on the deets. We might finally find out if he actually sweats.

Akon Hey, Mark Zuckerberg ... Let's Run in 2020 and Beat Trump!!!

AKON/ZUCKERBERG 2020
TMZ.com

Akon can see himself in the White House ... and he wants Mark Zuckerberg to help him beat President Trump in 2020.

We got the singer at LAX Thursday and wanted to know how he would defeat Trump, hypothetically speaking. Our guy barely finished asking the question when Akon pounced at the opportunity to debate 45, and obviously thinks he could take him down on several topics.

You can tell he's been thinking about how to make improvements, and even explained to us why he'd go with Zuckerberg as veep.

You'll recall ... Akon recently told us about his beef with the feds -- for rejecting his proposal to get electricity up and running in Puerto Rico following Hurricane Maria, and also with Trump's "s**thole" comment.

Still, he thinks Trump has what it takes to be a great prez. Or, at least, he did.

Kevin Smith Hospitalized After 'Massive Heart Attack'

Director Kevin Smith-- the director behind iconic flicks like "Clerks" and "Chasing Amy" -- says he's lucky to be alive after suffering a massive heart attack Sunday evening.

The 47-year-old had performed the first of 2 standup comedy shows at the Alex Theatre in Glendale, CA when something went wrong.

"After the first show this evening, I had a massive heart attack," Smith says.

"The Doctor who saved my life told me I had 100% blockage of my LAD artery (aka 'the Widow-Maker')."

"If I hadn’t canceled show 2 to go to the hospital, I would’ve died tonight. But for now, I’m still above ground!"

Smith posted a photo from the hospital covered by tubed and wires.

Kevin's friend, Tom Arnold, tweeted out, "Fans of Kevin Smith please take comfort he is in a good hospital with great doctors but if he needs 2nd or 3rd opinions from the worlds finest cardiologists we’ve got him covered too."

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