Heidi & Spencer

A suddenly camera-shy Pratt found the issues serve as more than just proof of his "Hills" villain girlfriend's fifteen minutes of fame; they also work well as a paparazzi repellent. Priggish Pratt used the tween mags to fend off his adoring flock. Flock that.

Seriously. We're not kidding.

The "Hills" duo is helping Yum Restaurants (Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut, A&W and Long John Silver) and the The World Food Programme raise awareness and funds during World Hunger Relief Week.

Apparently, every other "celebrity" was too busy.

Heidi and Spencer just seem to show up anywhere Lauren is, and unfortunately for them, they went home awardless. Heidi didn't even get an honorable mention for "Best Purchased Rack." Competition must've been stiff.

Last night was no exception, as LC and buddy Audrina Patridge were caught by TMZ leaving Element in Hollywood, where they were once again asked about their villainous ex-friend.

A better question -- what does LC think about Heidi's music career?!

TMZ caught the terrible twosome coming out of One Sunset after a birthday dinner for Heidi last night, where Spencer proclaimed, "We're friends with everybody!"

Whatever helps him sleep at night.

Granted, this clip of the villainous "Hills" twosome partaking in some serious dance floor PDA isn't as exciting/atrocious as Heidi's performance the same night, it's pretty sickening nonetheless.

As the two played a game of tonsil hockey at club LAX, pink-topped blogger Perez Hilton could do nothing but watch -- presumably in abject horror.

Montag's announced on her MySpace page that "Team Heidi" shirts will go on sale next week. Oh, yay! And if you're desperate to get yours before then, you can enter a contest and win one. Imagine being the first person on your block to have one of these priceless gems! They'll likely retail for 15 bux.

You can now complete your Christmas list.

On this morning's On Air with Ryan Seacrest on KIIS-FM, Heidi demonstrated slightly less vocal range and talent than Bai Ling as she unveiled her new single "Body Language." Then, as though that weren't enough, Spencer -- whose whiteness makes Vanilla Ice look like Jesse Jackson -- flexed his hip-hop talent by rapping.

According to Heidi, "Body" is dance/urban-inspired (she's down like that yo) and she hopes it's played in clubs -- except people won't dance, they'll run for the door! Heidi better hope that the stars are deaf when it comes to this single.

"The Hills" attention-whore-in-chief Heidi Montag got a serious rock from her, uh, beloved fiancee, Spencer Pratt. But it looks like the bling is about as "real" as all the bitchfighty drama on the MTV series.

As you may have seen, not-so-big-spender Pratt asks to borrow pal Brody Jenner's credit card to buy the engagement ring -- slow week with no tabloid photos to sell! Princess Heidi's engagement ring was purchased from the Ice Accessory store at a mall in Brentwood. Spencer ultimately picked out what looked like a pink diamond surrounded by diamonds, and even crowed that J. Lo and Kobe's wife Vanessa had identical ice, and that Heidi would need "a GPS device" for the ring in case she lost it.

It's her party and she'll ban Spencer and Heidi if she wants to! A source told TMZ that "Hills" heroine Lauren Conrad refused to attend this past Wednesday's premiere if former BFF/blonde bimbo Heidi Montag and her handler/boyfriend Spencer Pratt attended.

So how did the show's producers manage to get her to her own party? They made Heidi and Spence come early and then kicked them out after an hour or so to make way for LC! Who's the blonde b**ch now!?

In other "Hills" premiere news, Perez Hilton was miffed when a rumor surfaced that said he was banned from the show's opening party. Perez sez he never intended to attend the premiere, and was on a flight to New York during the event anyway.

MTV president Brian Graden says that part of what makes "The Hills" so successful is that the real-life drama never ends -- even when the show stops filming. Showstoppers Lauren Conrad, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag -- who return to the idiot box on August 13 -- keep generating good gossip all year long. Said Graden to Entertainment Weekly, "It's kind of postmodern marketing. We're living in an age of TMZ and Perez Hilton, and 'The Hills' indulges that." It does?

The endless gossip serves "Hills" stars/monster couple Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who claim that the series doesn't accurately represent their romance. "We don't fight in real life," said Pratt. But Pratt/Montag frenemy Lauren Conrad disagrees. "They can never make you say or do something," she said. "You can always blame editing, but they can't do magic." Presto! Your ex-best friend is now a smarmy jerk!

Is "The Hills" here to stay? "I don't know if I could do another season," said Heidi. "Being on a reality show is not very glamorous." But having your boyfriend pimp you out is?!

The villainous "Hills" stars were spotted outside of Koi last night, where people actually lined up to take pictures with the terrible twosome. When TMZ asked how they were getting along with the somewhat lackluster Lauren, Heidi and Spencer told a bold-faced lie, saying, "Great" and "just fine" -- a far cry from what they told Ryan Seacrest earlier in the day.

Don't expect these two to go away anytime soon -- the new season of the show starts next week -- and Heidi has plans to pull a Paris and release a single. Is there no end to their dastardly deeds?

The terrible twosome were on "On Air with Ryan Seacrest" today to string up some more dirty laundry -- saying they were "shocked" by the article and calling it "literally a hate piece." Pratt contends it's the first story the mag has ever done without contacting the other side for comment.

The kvetching duo talked to Ryan about LC's sex tape leaking (they didn't release it), a threatening run-in with Joel Madden and Nicole Richie, and Montag's upcoming album (described as "dance, urban, rhythmical"). The new season of "The Hills" starts next Monday.

TMZ spotted Lauren Conrad's trusty sidekick yesterday at an event for Bravo's new real estate themed reality show "Flipping Out" where she talked briefly about Heidi's recent boob job, saying, "If they make her feel good about herself, good for her," but adding, "I really don't care!" When asked about smarmy Spencer, Audrina had nothing to say but "No comment!"

With the terrible twosome out of the picture, Audrina revealed there will be an addition to the cast this coming season -- a boyfriend. She chose to keep his identity a secret for now. "The Hills" premieres August 13.

TMZ was on Robertson Blvd. yesterday as the engaged "Hills" brats went on a pre-planned paparazzi-filled shopping spree, with the smarmy Spencer whipping out his own videocamera to record the day's festivities.

After dropping some dough at Lisa Kline, Sky, Kitson and a sunglasses store, the two hoofed it back to the the Ivy to get their car, where Spencer stopped taping so the couple could field questions about their upcoming wedding. "There's no rush," said Pratt. A clearly delusional Heidi said her man is "better looking" than David Beckham, adding Pratt is "a better boyfriend, I bet, too."

No word on if Spence picked up the camcorder again later that night for a more intimate recording.

Madden allegedly stormed over to Pratt's table, where he was lunching with his future Mrs., Heidi Montag, and screamed, "you've been talking s**t about my girl!" before, claims Pratt, Madden -- who was there with pregnant girlfriend Nicole Richie -- had to be forcibly separated and removed.