Humor

Melvin Gordon didn't hold back when he was asked about the possibility of playing in fan-less stadiums in 2020 ... saying it used to happen to him all the time in his Chargers career!!

"Bro, we didn't have fans anyway!" Gordon said with a laugh.

Of course, MG ain't really wrong ... Chargers games over the past few seasons became famous for being overrun by opponents' fan bases -- but hearing Gordon say it so bluntly was still SAVAGE!!

"We didn't have many Chargers fans, I'm going to be honest," Gordon explained in an interview this week with his former Wisconsin teammate, Marcus Cromartie. "We didn't have many Chargers fans at the game."

Don't worry, L.A. faithful ... Gordon still praised the few of you out there, saying, "Much loyalty, love, but we didn't have many!"

Gordon added, "I ain't really missing out on much!"

This isn't the first time the running back has taken a shot at the Chargers' lack of support at their own games ... remember, he was publicly pissed at his former squad for playing the Steelers' rally song during their own HOME game in 2019.

Gordon doesn't have to worry about any of that anymore if the COVID-19 pandemic subsides ... he's in Denver now -- where fans are notorious for being loud as hell at games.

Chrissy Teigen is hoping laughter is the best medicine in the face of a deadly pandemic ... laughing her face off while getting tested for the novel coronavirus.

The supermodel/TV personality mom posted video Tuesday of her in-home coronavirus test, and she couldn't help but giggle while a healthcare worker shoved a swab deep up her nostril.

Chrissy lets out a bit of a scream as the swab enters her nose, but by the time the guy pulls it out, she's laughing. When she gets her other nostril swabbed, Chrissy is giggling the whole time, and seems extra ticklish.

The testing process doesn't seem like a whole lotta fun ... but Chrissy says it's not bad at all.

John Legend's wife also says she "honestly loved" her coronavirus test ... which is good news for anyone on the fence about getting tested.

Hopefully Chrissy loves the results ... otherwise, it might not be so funny.

Did you know Tom Brady spends more cash than Gisele in their relationship ... AND has more clothes than the supermodel too?!?!

It's true ... the couple revealed the facts in a new video Tuesday -- and Tom's sheepish admission to both is HILARIOUS!!

Gisele posted the footage of the fun TikTok game on social media ... and we learned a hell of a lot about the power couple -- with a little extra help from Tom's son, Ben!!

A breakdown of the highlights ...

Who eats more ... and who eats healthiest?

• All three said Gisele eats the most between the two ... but it was a split decision on who eats healthiest, with Tom saying Gisele, and Gisele saying Tom.

Who's more spoiled?

• Brady won this category in a LANDSLIDE!!

Who's a bigger baby when sick?

• All three picked TB12 here too!

Who requires more attention?

• Yup, you guessed it, Tom won this one in handedly as well!!!

But, the best two parts of the clip? Check out the answers to "Who spends the most money?" and "Who has more clothes?" ... Tom's ashamed reaction is priceless!!

It's got diamonds and rubies and sapphires and more ... but who cares about that, the Nats World Series rings have BABY SHARK!

The team revealed their 2019 World Series championship rings over the weekend -- which are dripping in jewels ... 170 total stones and weighs 23.2 carats.

But everyone is talking about the Baby Shark design on the inside of the ring -- a tribute to the song that became the rallying cry for the team.

Remember, outfielder Gerardo Parra used the song as his walk-up music ... but it was later adopted by the fans as the unofficial song of the squad. Hence the tribute.

Here's the explanation of the rest of the design ...

108 Diamonds ... representing the team's 105 total regular-season and postseason wins PLUS one diamond for the World Series championship and 2 more diamonds to honor the cities where the team has been based (Montreal and Washington).

32 Sapphires ... the total of the team's 7 walk-off wins, 13 shutout wins, 8-game winning streak (their longest of the season) and 4 playoff rounds won.

(Yeah, that one is weird).

30 Rubies ... total number of runs the team scored during the World Series.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman ... no it's a FLYING DOG jumping from a window and sticking the landing like a straight-up boss!!!

Check out this AMAZING video of a crazy athletic pooch bounding through a window and landing several feet down on the grass below ... and somehow the pup walked away unscathed.

The adorable pooch is going viral after its owner posted video of the death-defying jump ... and she says her dog is doing just great after the wild stunt.

We've all been there in quarantine right ... ready to jump out a window at a moment's notice out of pure boredom and stir craziness ... but this four-legged superstar actually did it ... and lived to tell the tail tale.

The sound before the jump is hilarious, the landing is even better, and the nonchalant scurry down the sidewalk is the icing on this crazy cake.

Quick ... get this dog a cape, a bone and some treats!!!

No, you can not have sex with the female plastic dolls in the crowd at FC Seoul soccer games.

Sorry.

Still, the club is apologizing to fans anyway ... expressing "sincere remorse" after allegations they put sex dolls in the bleachers Sunday for a game at Seoul World Cup Stadium.

Here's the deal ... with no live fans allowed at games because of COVID-19, the South Korean soccer club put plastic butts in the seats instead as a funny way to make things look normal.

The team had contacted a company called Dalkom to get the dolls -- and since Dalkom also makes sex dolls, some fans thought the mannequins in the stands were plastic sex workers.

It's also worth noting that ALL of the mannequins in the stands were female.

But, FC Seoul claims the dolls are not actually bangable -- they're just normal, regular fashion mannequins ... and they've apologized for the controversy in the first place.

Unclear if the club will bring the non-sex dolls back for future games.

A Catholic priest got creative in doling out blessings and holy water around Easter time last month -- and his viral method has since gotten a proper meme treatment ... rightly so.

The guy's name is Father Tim Pelc, hails from Detroit. About a month ago, he was standing outside his church and blasting his parishioners with holy water through a mini squirt gun -- all just to bless their Easter food baskets. It's tradition ... and he kept it alive.

BTW, it was done safely -- Father Pelc stood a good distance away from folks puling up to their makeshift drive-thru and shot water into their vehicles, this while wearing a N95 mask, a plastic face shield and disposable gloves. Hallelujah ... responsible social distancing.

Meanwhile, Father Pelc's photos went viral since he started doing this -- and, naturally, the internet had a field day with the images. Some people featured him on fake movie posters, and we gotta say ... they look pretty legit. We'd go see these flicks -- if we could, that is.

Crafty online sleuths turned Pelc into an action hero of sorts -- featuring him on posters for 'Doom,' 'The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly' and others. He slides right in perfectly -- guess that'll happen when you play dress-up and horse around like a little kid with toy guns.

Nassau County chiefs want their residents to kick each other's balls if they must, but don't you dare go touching them ... tennis balls, that is. Hey, no giggling!

That was pretty much how it sounded when County Executive Laura Curran gave a rundown on how Nassau was going to navigate reopening tennis courts there, and what the new regulations would be when handling one another's balls. Again ... tennis balls.

In fact, you can tell Curran was trying her hardest to get the word "tennis" in there each and every time she mentioned "balls," but eventually she slipped ... and let a free ball run loose in her spiel, saying folks can kick other people's balls (back over to the owner if they happen to roll on over, is what she meant), but there is to be no touching of said balls!

That got a nice chuckle from the crowd who was listening, and finally ... Curran herself cracked up as well. She said she was gonna blush and again made another balls reference that got another giggle from just about everyone. Who says we outgrow sophomoric humor?!

This is the greatest balls moment since the 'SNL' classic ... of course, we're talking about Alec Baldwin's famous "Schweddy Balls" skit, where then too, it was balls galore.

Tiny tuxedos are wandering the halls of an art museum in Missouri, but it ain't a black-tie affair -- just a group of penguins on a field trip from the zoo. Naturally.

Ya gotta see the video ... a family of penguins is soaking in all The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City has to offer, waddling through the empty halls and getting a taste of human culture.

The birds don't normally venture out of the Kansas City Zoo this way, but caretakers noticed they were going stir-crazy in quarantine -- so they surprised the penguins with the trip.

The museum is still closed to human visitors, but penguins have free reign ... apparently. They even practiced social distancing better than the average spring breaker.

Julián Zugazagoitia, the museum's executive director and CEO, says the penguins were moved by Carvaggio, but not so much by Monet. Every bird's a critic.

Remember ... biologist Jeff Corwin says captive animals and house pets in quarantine need active stimulation too.

Did Mercury coming out of retrograde cost Aaron Judge the rookie home run record?!?!

That's what Pete Alonso's saying ... admitting once the smallest planet in our solar system got back in line last summer -- his bat suddenly woke up from a weeks-long slump!!!

And, yeah ... the Mets superstar is DEAD serious about it!!!

"I saw something on Twitter," Pete said on "The Cookie Club" show this week, "I was in a rabbit hole one night after the game and it's like, 'Mercury is out of retrograde, and if you're born in a certain month, then it really affects you in a negative way and your performance at your job.'"

"And I'm like, 'Oh, Mercury's in retrograde!'" Pete added. "'It comes out of retrograde on this day, and I can't wait for that!' And, that day was probably like five days away."

Sure enough, Pete says as soon as that day hit on the calendar -- he went BERSERK at the plate ... and his teammates laughed their faces off over it all!!

"He came in the locker room screaming it," Mets stud Dominic Smith said. "'Mercury's out of retrograde!' And we're looking around like, 'What does that even mean?!'"

Smith added, "And, I was just like, 'Whatever, Pete's back!' And, I'm telling you, he went off! Like I couldn't believe it!"

FYI, Alonso used that game and about three dozen more following it to ultimately break Judge's rookie home run record ... finishing with 53 jacks in one season.

As for Alonso repeating that feat in 2020 ... he seems confident he's got the skills to do it -- although Mercury is set to go in retrograde from June 18 to July 12.

"Hang on one second!"

That's how NFL stud Tyler Eifert bolted from his online press conference to deal with his loose dogs Thursday ... and the video of the canine commotion is hilarious!!!

The new Jacksonville Jaguars tight end was having a virtual meet-and-greet grill sesh with NFL reporters ... when suddenly, his pups began wreaking havoc.

You can see in video of the newser, the dogs were barking up a storm ... and later, a neighbor yelled into his home, "Your dog was in my yard!!!"

That's when Eifert had to get up from the sitdown with reporters to go chase down his dogs -- and when he got back, the guy was straight-up out of breath!!!

"They're back," Eifert said. "And, I got in a little conditioning too!"

HILARIOUS!!!

Normally, we'd suggest a little timeout and no-treat treatment for the bad-behaving doggos ... but look at these faces -- HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY PUNISH THESE GUYS!!!

Rest easy everyone, quarantine is not changing Jason Momoa -- he's still ripped, still going shirtless and still making ya laugh your ass off.

"Aquaman" earned a bunch of drooling and LOL emojis by flaunting his bod while trying to teach his son, Nakao-Wolf, how to throw no-look tomahawks. Keyword: trying, cause it's pretty clear Jason's also letting his comedy chops fly, and wife Lisa Bonet, who appears to be filming, can't contain her laughter.

You can see in the video Jason hilariously giving his son some solid at advice on how to master the no-look method ... with one tiny warning, "Just make sure no one is walking in the way."

His blooper reel includes him throwing a series of tomahawks including one he's dubbed the Mohican 2000. Jason starts by staring into the camera but then keeps his eyes there as he launches the 'hawks. He advises, "It's all about arrogance" before badly missing on several of his throws.

But, the "Game of Thrones" star doesn't care cause even if it sounded like one hit the ground "it didn't cause I never saw."

Point is ... Momoa's comedy chops are still as sharp as they were in his Super Bowl commercial.

There's gotta be something this guy can't do -- we just haven't seen it yet.

Jerry Stiller -- the actor/comedian who famously played George Costanza's dad on "Seinfeld" -- has died.

Jerry was one of the most accomplished comedians of his time. Jerry and Anne Meara teamed up together to produce an incredibly popular husband/wife comedy duo, appearing on tons of TV shows. They also produced son Ben Stiller, who said his dad died from natural causes.

As they say ... yada, yada, yada, and then Jerry got a call from the folks over at "Seinfeld" to see if he wanted to play George Costanza's pop, Frank, and thankfully, Jerry said yes.

He was hysterical ... he hated that Jews couldn't really partake in XMAS festivities, so he invented Festivus, which he called "a holiday for the rest of us where you gather your family around and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year."

He actually didn't even appear in a "Seinfeld" episode until Season 5 -- the show went 9 seasons -- and was only on 30 of the 180 shows, but he made an indelible impression, inventing products like bras for men.

Jerry did not sit back and revel in his success after "Seinfeld" wrapped in 1998.  A few months later he was back on TV, this time playing a slightly more subdued version of Frank on "The King of Queens," where he took on the fatherly role of Arthur Spooner.

The show was a huge hit and Jerry was there for all 9 seasons and appeared in nearly 200 episodes. The show's run ended in 2007.

Jerry's acting career spanned more 50 years ... his first TV appearance was way back in 1956, when he played Hugh in "Studio One in Hollywood."

Jerry, of course, also appeared in several movies with Ben ... including "Zoolander," "The Heartbreak Kid," "Heavy Weights" and "Hot Pursuit."

Anne Meara, Jerry's wife of more than 60 years -- died at the age of 85.

Ben also played opposite his mom -- she co-starred with him in the 2006 flick, "Night at the Museum."

Jerry and Anne had 2 kids ... Ben and Amy. She's also an actress who has also appeared in small roles alongside her famous father.

Ben said, "He was a great dad and grandfather, and the most dedicated husband to Anne for 62 years. He will be greatly missed. Love you Dad."

Jerry was 92.

RIP

Eddie Murphy has a brand new character to add to his comedic arsenal -- a singer he rolled out for big laughs, and to raise money for charity.

If you tuned in for the Feeding America Comedy Festival Sunday night, you saw Eddie's debut as Murray Murray -- a '60s and '70s singer who taught Ray Charles and Little Richard a few things ... but who also took out a hit on Berry Gordy's cat.

Eddie was the headliner on Byron Allen's 2-hour special, chock-full of huge comedians like Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Tiffany Haddish, George Lopez, Whitney Cummings and dozens more who recorded skits and intros for the fundraiser.

Eddie was in classic form as Murray Murray who, BTW, banged Diana Ross, Gladys Knight and Tina Turner. The skit was one of the hilarious highlights for the event which raised money for Feeding America.

Fans have been anticipating Eddie's rumored return to standup comedy ever since he hosted 'SNL' back in December. So, the new skit's only gonna have Eddie fans champing at the bit even more.

His Murray Murray skit was obviously written and recorded before Saturday ... when Little Richard died. Eddie closed it with a tribute to the rock 'n' roll legend.