MLS

Sorry, Clint Dempsey -- you had a great career ... but it still doesn't compare with Mia Hamm's -- so says soccer legend Alexi Lalas.

Alexi spoke with TMZ Sports after Clint hung up the cleats Wednesday ... and when we asked about greatest U.S. soccer players of all time -- Lalas told us Nomar Garciaparra's boo was better than Clint.

"You can put Mia Hamm higher than Clint Dempsey," Lalas says.

Don't feel too bad for Clint ... Lalas did have a bunch of great things to say about him when it came to MALE players -- even if he had him behind Landon Donovan in his rankings.

"If I needed a goal scored in a World Cup Final, I would go to Landon Donovan," Lalas says.

"But, if I needed someone to have my back in a bar, I'm going with Clint Dempsey."

Alexi appreciated Dempsey's care-free, on-field attitude too ... and you gotta hear the expletive-laced quote that he says sums up Clint perfectly.

Team USA soccer legend Clint Dempsey is hanging up his cleats -- announcing he's retiring from professional soccer.

"'After a lot of thought, my family and I have decided that this is the right time for me to step away from the game,” 35-year-old Dempsey said.

"I’d like to thank all of the teammates, coaches and support staff that I’ve worked with throughout my career. It has always been my dream to make it as a pro. I’m grateful to have been on this ride."

Dempsey first appeared on the Team USA World Cup squad back in 2006 -- and became a leader due to his aggressive and passionate style of play. He scored goals in 3 consecutive World Cup tourneys (2006, 2010 and 2014).

Dempsey is tied for 1st as the U.S. Men's National Team all-time leading scorer with 57 international goals. He's tied with Landon Donovan.

Among active international soccer players, Dempsey only trails Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi and David Villa in most goals scored.

He was drafted by the New England Revolution in the 2004 MLS Draft. He was later loaned to Fulham of the Premier League and scored 50 goals during his time with the team.

Dempsey then went to Tottenham Hotspur from 2012 to 2013 -- notching 7 goals in 29 appearances.

From there, it was back to the MLS where he finished up his career with the Seattle Sounders.

"I would like to thank all of the fans who have supported me throughout my career with the New England Revolution, Fulham, Tottenham, Seattle Sounders and the U.S. Men’s National Team," Dempsey said.

"Y’all have always made me feel at home, and it is something that I will always remember.”

Remember when Alexi Lalas said Wayne Rooney was washed up -- and explained why it would be a mistake for D.C. United to sign him???

Yeah, so do we ... that was in May before Rooney joined the MLS and SET THE LEAGUE ON FIRE!! Since then, Rooney's been a beast on the pitch -- so we went to Lalas to see how he felt about being so wrong.

His response was amazing.

"This would not be the first team that should be paying me in order to be motivating their players," Lalas joked ... "So I say, 'You're welcome D.C. It's my gift to you, it's my gift to you, Wayne, and my gift to soccer.'"

The 32-year-old has already racked up 3 goals and 3 assists in the 8 games he's played with D.C. United -- and the team is 5-2-1 in games Rooney has played in.

Plus, the INSANE play Rooney made during the August 12 game against Orlando City S.C. went crazy viral and some are hailing it as one of the greatest plays in MLS history.

It all went down during stoppage time of a 2-2 tie ... when Rooney chased down an opposing player around midfield, stole the ball with a slide tackle and fired up a 50-ish-yard cross to a teammate who headed the ball for the game-winning goal.

Ya gotta watch ... it's nothing short of spectacular.

On a serious note, Lalas says Rooney's presence is making his teammates better -- and the sky is the limit for D.C. United.

Wayne Rooney -- one of the most famous soccer players in the world -- has made it official ... he's joining D.C. United ... and his first game in the MLS is in TWO WEEKS!!

The team announced Rooney's arrival with a dope hype video ... titling it, "#NoWayneNoGain."

The ex-Everton star is a British legend on the pitch ... and his arrival has plenty of people gassed up for American soccer -- including Rooney himself, who says, "All right D.C. Let's get to work."

But, not everyone's as charged up about the move ... with Alexi Lalas telling TMZ Sports just a month ago that there's no way Rooney's arrival will "move the needle" when it comes to MLS interest.

Ever seen a bicycle kick in zero gravity? Well, you have now ...

A couple of Russian cosmonauts somehow got an official 2018 World Cup soccer ball on board the International Space Station ... and what ensued is pretty amazing!

Check out the spaced-out trick shot video -- featuring cosmonauts Anton Shkaplerov and Oleg Artemyev doing sideflips, backflips and upside down acrobatics while trying to score on each other.

The World Cup starts on June 14 in Russia and features 32 teams from around the globe.

But, not the United States though ... because we couldn't beat Trinidad and Tobago.

Wayne Rooney is taking in some last minute R&R before signing with D.C. United ... chillin' on a yacht in Barbados with his wife and kids ... without a care in the world.

The 32-year-old is thiiiis close to inking his deal to become the latest European superstar to jump to MLS in the U.S. ... even though some critics think he's washed up.

The skeptics ain't bothering Rooney though ... who was busy floating away on an inflatable raft on Monday.

As we previously reported, Rooney flew into D.C. last week to meet with D.C. United team officials to finalize his deal ... though it doesn't appear he's put pen to paper just yet.

He's heeeeeere!!

Wayne Rooney -- one of the most famous soccer players on the planet -- has touched down in Washington D.C. to discuss an MLS contract with D.C. United.

The 32-year-old British superstar -- who currently plays for Everton -- didn't say much when he landed at Reagan Airport on Wednesday ... but people are expecting him make a lot of noise if he does get a deal done.

Rooney's reportedly very close to signing on the dotted line -- with the Washington Post reporting he's already begun house hunting.

Not everyone is stoked about Rooney coming to MLS ... Alexi Lalas told us he thinks Wayne is washed up and won't move the needle.

"He might fill some seats, but not that many seats."

"Slappin'" Zlatan Ibrahimovic was just red carded and ejected from an MLS game in Montreal ... after he BELTED AN OPPONENT IN THE EAR!

Zlatan and the L.A. Galaxy were in Canada to face the Montreal Impact when Michael Petrasso stepped on Ibra's foot ... pissing off the most famous player in the MLS.

So, to get revenge ... 36-year-old Zlatan reached back like a pimp and unloaded a 5-finger attack to Petrasso's right ear.

Petrasso collapsed to the ground ... and so did Zlatan, who tried like hell to hide the on-field assault.

Didn't work for Ibra ... the ref busted him and whipped out a red card, sending him to the locker room.

It's Zlatan's first red card in the MLS since joining the league back in March.

Even without the Swedish superstar, the Galaxy still won 1-0.

Here's a disappointment ... turns out Zlatan Ibrahimovic's arrogant ways are all for show ... because his Galaxy teammate Sebastian Lletget says the Big Z is a big sweetie, and a GREAT teammate.

Remember it was Zlatan who announced his arrival in L.A. with a full page ad in the L.A. Times that simply said "You're Welcome" ... but when we got Lletget out at LAX, he told us not to believe the hype.

"He's not arrogant," Lletget says. "He's a good teammate."

He went on to gush about Zlatan -- praising him a solid dude behind the scenes.

Not sure if we believe this ... remember, it was Zlatan who dissed U.S. soccer on the streets of L.A. back in '14, and it was Zlatan who once said, "I can't help but laugh at how perfect I am."

Soccer BEEF!!!!

D.C United coach Ben Olsen clearly wasn't too pleased about Alexi Lalas' comments on Wayne Rooney -- because now he's throwing some shade of his own.

Earlier this week, Lalas told us he wasn't too pumped about the MLS team working on a deal with Rooney -- because the guy's essentially a has-been.

"For me, Wayne Rooney doesn't move the needle," Lalas said ... "It might fill some seats, but not that many seats."

Olsen tells TMZ Sports ... the deal with Rooney isn't done yet -- but he's already going to bat for the striker ... with a shot at Lalas.

A lot of people are excited about the rumors surrounding Wayne Rooney possibly signing with D.C. United and playing in the MLS.

Alexi Lalas is not one of those people.

Lalas is usually stoked about bringing European soccer legends to the states -- just like David Beckham and Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

But when it comes to Wayne ... Alexi ain't feelin' it.

"For me, Wayne Rooney doesn't move the needle," Lalas said.

"It might fill some seats, but not that many seats."

Lalas says Rooney was a baller in his prime ... but his prime is in the past -- even though Rooney's only 32 years old.

The LAFC team wants to KILL a soccer fan tradition of chanting a homophobic slur at players during goal kicks ... and says any fan who uses the word will be immediately banned from the stadium.

The threat came hours after the newest MLS expansion team played its first game at Banc of California Stadium on Sunday ... when they beat the Seattle Sounders 1-0.

During the game, fans could be heard chanting the word "p*to" -- a word that many people and organizations, including OutSports.com, have labeled a gay slur.

Now, the LAFC is laying down the gauntlet ... saying any fan who uses the word moving forward will get the boot.

"The offensive goal kick chant is wrong and not what we are about," team officials said in a statement.

"We ask that all of our fans and Supporters work to hold each other accountable to eliminate this from Banc of California Stadium."

"Any fans identified as participating in this offensive chanting will be removed from the stadium and the Club will revoke their season membership."

So you're saying there's a chance!!!

Usain Bolt tells TMZ Sports ... the "door is open" to unretire and compete in the 2020 Olympics -- but right now he doesn't have the urge.

"I don't think so," Bolt said when asked about a return to the track ... "But when I see competition I definitely feel like I want to."

"I don't have the urge right now. Maybe when it comes around to the Olympics you never know ... but right now I don't."

Instead, Bolt says he's dead serious about pursuing a soccer career ... with real hopes of joining a pro team -- possibly in the MLS.

In the meantime, Bolt is also challenging less physically athletic people to a video game war through the Xbox Game Pass Challenge ... and he's talking smack!!!

Everyone who thinks Justin Bieber's soccer skills are legit have been living a damn lie ... because former USA coach Bruce Arena says the Biebs just ain't got it.

We got Arena out at LAX and wanted to know what an expert (even though we missed the World Cup, he's an expert) thought about Bieber's prowess on the pitch.

Our guy showed Arena some video -- then asked if he thought Biebs was any good at soccer. Unfortunately for Justin, the old coach kept it 100%, A-1, 24 carat real.

"I don't think that. I think he's better off doing what he's doing."

Don't be mad at us Justin ... we tried to remind Bruce that you're friends with Neymar and asked if you could maybe make the MLS if Neymar helped -- but Arena had a simple answer to that too.

"No."

It's not too late to say you're sorry Bruce ... TO ALL AMERICANS FOR MISSING THE FREAKIN' WORLD CUP!

Usain Bolt's futbol dreams just got red-carded by one of the biggest stars in American soccer ... who says The World's Fastest Man would get smoked in the MLS!!

We got Alexi Lalas at LAX, and filled him in on Usain telling Major League soccer teams to, "bring the big contracts."

Alexi loves that Bolt's trying to do something different ... but the Team USA legend clearly ain't buying Usain as the next Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

"Just because you're a good athlete doesn't mean you're good in a particular sport," Lalas told TMZ Sports.

"Soccer's a lot different than just being fast and being able to kick the ball."

Ouch.

That said, Alexi says he'd love to see Usain put his best foot-y forward -- just as long as him and Ibra don't squad up!

Hey Fergie, you're off the hook ...

Pop star Rachel Platten -- the chick who sang "Fight Song" -- botched the National Anthem in a SPECTACULAR way at an NWSL soccer game over the weekend ... and it's hard to watch.

Platten has performed the song on big stages before -- even singing it at the World Series!

But when she grabbed the mic in Salt Lake City on Saturday before the Chicago Red Stars took on the Utah Royals ... it was amateur hour.

It started bad ... "Oh say can you see, by the STARS early light."

It got worse ... she had to restart twice and even asked for someone to give her the lyrics. The crowd tried to join in and help her along, but the lyric blowing must have been contagious, because they were messing up too!