NYC Health Dept. Choke the Chicken During Outbreak ... But No Orgies!!!

The Big Apple doesn't want its residents banging like rabbits during the coronavirus outbreak -- so it's got a set of strict (and graphically specific) guidelines on how to get it on during these contagious times.

The NYC Health Department posted recommendations over the weekend on how folks can have sex, while keeping the risk of catching COVID-19 low. For starters, they say sex with another person probably isn't a good idea right now ... so, they suggest masturbating.

If you are going to have sex with someone else, they have recommendations on who to bang first. The department says if you must, sleep with someone you live with, and try NOT to screw anyone outside the household if you can help. They also say limit the number of partners you're hooking up with ... which probably means no orgies either. Aw, man!

The most graphic suggestions come in the form of rim jobs (anus to mouth contact) and oral sex too. They say don't eat ass right now -- it probably ain't safe -- and if you're gonna get slurped up by a partner ... use a condom or a dental dam to reduce saliva swapping.

The Health Dept. also notes ... if your partner's not feeling well, skip the sex. And, for all the online daters, keep the interaction there for now too. What a time to be alive!

Trump on Coronavirus Congress Could 'Work' From Home Just for the Time Being

Exclusive
VOTE FROM HOME
Fox News

4:18 PM PT -- It's back to the drawing board in D.C. for Congress -- with Senators failing to pass a stimulus package bill with a split vote of 47-47 Sunday ... this after the House already sent a version of the bill along and suspended their session in hopes the Senate could get it done.

Welp, amid fears of U.S. Representatives having to come back to D.C. to draft up a new bill and take a new vote again ... President Trump offered up a temporary remedy for everyone scared of catching coronavirus. During Sunday's press briefing, he said his administration wouldn't be opposed to let people work from home ... as in vote.

The question was lobbed to the Prez in the wake of Rand Paul and others quarantining after Paul's coronavirus diagnosis, and DT said it straight up -- he'd be cool with a temporary measure of voting remotely, not necessarily needing bodies in D.C. to do it.

That would solve the quorum problem for House members, a good amount of whom would have to be back in D.C. otherwise in order to get any official business done.

Unclear if Trump and his administration would have the final say over this -- it's probably a resolution that'd have to be written in Congress and voted on -- but it doesn't sound like he'd make a big fuss if both houses decided to go this route. Desperate times ...

There is a quiet panic going around behind the scenes at the House of Representatives because some members tell TMZ they sounded a warning 3 weeks ago about the Capitol being unsafe but they weren't heeded ... and now some fear they have the coronavirus.

The members we spoke with -- who only wanted to talk on background -- tell us, about 3 weeks ago when the problems associated with coronavirus started blowing up they began talking about limiting or excluding visitors from the Capitol.

It was an especially busy time, because the House was putting together spending bills and people were flying in from all over the country to lobby members. There were also lots of visitors who came by and interacted with a number of members. We're told the hallways were packed.

One congressman told us, "No one took this seriously. Leaders from both sides initially said they didn't want to panic people. We're told the leaders ultimately consulted the Congressional doctor, but as one congressman said, "He was scared to make a decision because he was afraid he would trigger a national panic."

A congressman we spoke with says he believes he has the virus and is exhibiting mild symptoms and he has self-quarantined. He also says, "I think lots of us [representatives] are going to get it."

The House is currently not in session, but there's a big problem. The Senate is in session and is hopefully going to pass a relief bill soon. The House members have gone home, and the only way they can approve the bill without flying to D.C. is if the vote is unanimous.

If one member wants to vote no on the bill, the traditional solution would be for members to fly to D.C. to cast their votes. But, putting 435 people on airplanes -- especially when there's fear some of the members have or were exposed to the virus -- it's super risky. We're told there's talk of flying 40 at a time or figuring out some way of keeping people away from each other.

No decisions have been made on what to do if the vote is not unanimous.

As for the other chamber ... as we reported, Senator Rand Paul has tested positive and incredibly he was at the Senate gym today swimming. The fact the Senate gym is open when gyms across the country have closed because a gym is a breeding ground for the virus ....well, it's just baffling.

Originally Published -- 1:25 PM PT

Joshua Tree Park Besieged by Out-of-Towners ... Local Neighbors Pissed

Joshua Tree's campgrounds may be closed -- but people are still visiting in droves during the pandemic ... which is pissing off a lot of the locals, who are shooing the masses away.

The national park closed its gates Saturday to campers and vehicles wanting to pull into their lots for some desert fun -- but because the area is still open to hikers and bikers ... a bunch of Angelenos and others made a mass exodus to the Coachella Valley-area grounds this weekend.

That caused a bit of pandemonium for some of the locals who live right nearby, including 15-year resident Carrie Dagher ... who tells TMZ she's been in full chase-off mode with out-of-town dopes who keep wandering onto her property, apparently thinking it's God's land.

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Not the case, according to Carrie ... who says she's literally confronted and driven about 100 different people who unknowingly crossed her front and back yards while exploring the area. Her property and others can stretch anywhere from 1 to 3 acres, so it's understandable a mistaken trespass might happen here and there. That's not the only problem though.

Carrie also tells us some would-be campers have even tried pitching a tent right in her front yard, which she quickly put a stop to as well. Lawn chairs and picnics have also been attempted on her property -- it seems people either don't know or don't care.

The bigger issue, though, is that because of the massive amount of cars coming to the area -- not to mention all the people they're transporting -- Carrie says these bored city-slickers are actually ruining the land with constant traversing, contaminating the rich soil specifically.

BTW, Joshua Tree is far from the only hiking hot spot people want to get to right now -- the Runyon Canyon trail in the heart of L.A. is also drawing hordes of bodies ... most of whom are NOT maintaining any sense of social distancing as they shuffle past each other.

Snitches (or good citizens, really) have been tagging Gov. Gavin Newsom and L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti to notify them of the bizarre scene, in hopes of getting these public places shut down to avoid further spreading of the coronavirus.

Until then though ... it looks like the people are restless!

Meghan Markle Charity Drops 'Royal' from Her Bio Homepage Still Rocks It

9:59 AM PT -- 3/22 -- Smart Works has updated its homepage to remove the word "Royal" and "HRH." The magic is officially gone.

Meghan Markle's pivot away from Royal life is in full swing -- 'cause a charity she partners with has dropped any mention of the word when describing her ... except on their homepage, where it probably matters most.

The charity is called Smart Works -- a non-profit org based out of the U.K. that provides professional interviewing clothes to low income women who need it for job interviews. Meghan's been their official patron for a while -- and until now ... has always been referred to as "Our Royal Patron" as well as "Her Royal Highness," or "HRH" for short on their site.

It's true ... if you go and click on Meghan's official bio at Smart Works right now, they have indeed dropped all "Royal" and "Highness" terms in talking about Meg. Going forward, it looks like they're just referring to her as "Our Patron, The Duchess of Sussex." Hey, at least she kept that.

The only problem ... on their homepage, as of Saturday, it looks like they still call her 'Our Royal Patron,' and even 'HRH.' If you click on that, it takes you to the page where they've ditched 'Royal.' Seems somebody fell asleep at the wheel in the digital scrubbing.

That said ... the day they officially split from the Royal Family is March 31, which was announced in their transition statement earlier this year. So, someone's got at least until then to get it fully right over at Smart Works 😅

Originally Published -- 3/21 5:12 PM PT

Coronavirus Mass Exodus to SoCal Beaches ... During CA Quarantine

Exclusive

California has been hit hard by the coronavirus and people have been ordered to mostly stay inside -- but Saturday was one of the most spectacular days of the year, so an unusually large number of people hit the sand, much to the chagrin of Shannen Doherty.

Check out these surreal photos we got of a bunch of Angelenos Sunday who migrated en masse to a beach near Marina Del Rey. It's a pretty wild scene -- especially considering the beaches out here have been relatively dead of late, with bad weather and coronavirus fever.

It's not unexpected. Lots of people are going stir crazy at home, and the CA Governor has made it clear ... going out and exercising, with a proper amount of spacing, is fine. Some beachgoers aren't maintaining much social distancing, which is crucial during these times.

Funny enough, there was even one beach bum out there flying his kite ... while wearing a full motorcycle helmet to cover his noggin. Seems like nothing can keep people away from the beach on a beautiful L.A. day.

Of course, this has echoes of what's been going on in Florida -- where Spring Breakers and others have been flooding the beaches throughout the state to get their fix in, despite the possible ramifications. Gov. DeSantis still hasn't issued the order, although many beaches have been ordered evacuated by local officials.

3/19/20
STILL PACKIN' THE BEACHES
CNN

DeSantis is being sued for not closing down the beaches ... so it feels like only a matter of time before beach days could be gone. Makes ya wonder if L.A. honchos might do the same. Oh, and BTW ... this is happening all over L.A. County -- including Malibu.

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Shannen Doherty made her opinion about the beachgoers in her neighborhood known loud and clear -- people are STUPID, or so she seems to be indicating.

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