Jessica to Britney - Take My Dad, Please!

Jessica Simpson thinks Britney Spears is so over, that she doesn't even consider Brit a competitor – and is even offering to help hook her up with dad-meddler Joe to help resurrect her career.

Jess, according to Rush & Molloy, offered to call Brit to set something up for daddy dearest, who's been mulling taking over the reins on Spears' career ever since she dumped Larry Rudolph. He tried setting up a meeting over the weekend, says a source, though Jess' rep denies that.

And Joe's swooping in just when Brit's real father figure – her dad Jamie – has been publicly trashing her and blaming her for blaming him and his mother for her rehab-instigating troubles.

All she needed was love – from the TV audience – but Heather Mills didn't get it from them, and now she's been the latest contestant given the chop from "Dancing with the Stars."

"We knew we were going out," said the estranged Mrs. Paul McCartney on the show. "We're not surprised." Mills, who is locked in a fiery battle with her ex-husband, donated her performance fee to an animal-welfare charity, and says that "hundreds of thousands of animals' lives will be saved" as a result. Just not her own, at least on "Dancing with the Stars."

CNN anchor-reporter Anderson Cooper does his daily workouts at the busy Equinox gym in the Time Warner Center in New York, and so he's had to come up with a brief solution to curious, cell-phone toting fellow gymrats – wearing underwear in the showers. Janet Charlton reports that Cooper, who attracts a great deal of attention from men and women gawkers on the ellipticals and benches, is concerned about having himself exposed, so he "takes precautions," wearing boxer briefs throughout the locker rooms to scuttle anyone who might try to take a surreptitious snap.