1) Smiling whilst performing hard labor for beating your girlfriend is generally considered bad form.
2) Felons convicted of assault aren't ideal candidates for wielding a hand saw.
3) Employing the services of a private bodyguard seems like overkill when police have it covered.
4) Brown is using his third-wheel bodyguard to promote the T-shirts he's been twittering about. We didn't know billboards were allowed in Richmond.